Xe-
Seems better than Tinder
- Jul 29, 2024
- 25
Not too many times have I thought about finding like-minded people who also find their lives in suffering. Once I tried EmoEarth as a teen 15 or-so years ago. I found people that shared my understanding of wanting to end our own lives to end an internal suffering.
I haven't thought too much about the direction on how I want to end my life as I am at a unique time in my life. I am new to this forum and nearly all truly honest thoughts about my reality. The shame and stigma of suicide and self harm has made me a very high functioning adult woman.
I want to have my body and remains completely destroyed, BUT after I ctb.
I want my experience to be peaceful and/or quick.
I have a few ideas I think about. I still want to be clever but not too cruel to my remains in all situations, as I'm sure more than just myself understands this.
I wanted to get some tanks of helium and have them sat next to a bathtub filled with some substance that will disintegrate myself slowly. I'm thinking this process should be about the period of three days to a week, and ONLY if the odor wouldn't be noticed by the neighbors. I have a small playlist I made for the setup, and Bob Segar is the happy place if I can relax while ctb.
Since I have to put a lot of effort in accomplishing this strategy I was wondering if anyone had ideas for acid baths or something of the sort? I don't want immediate results; if something goes wrong I don't want to end up damaged and in pain.
Another method I think about is jumping off high accessible buildings. I want to seriously go splat. I do not want anything to be salvaged. I think about jumping in front of a train or laying on the ties for the same reason.
I do not plan on making a note. I do not care to tell the people around me my reasons. I do not care if I cause another person harm if I am in the act of ctb. Other people is nearly the last thing on my mind anymore.
I haven't thought too much about the direction on how I want to end my life as I am at a unique time in my life. I am new to this forum and nearly all truly honest thoughts about my reality. The shame and stigma of suicide and self harm has made me a very high functioning adult woman.
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What is definite to my situation is:I want to have my body and remains completely destroyed, BUT after I ctb.
I want my experience to be peaceful and/or quick.
I have a few ideas I think about. I still want to be clever but not too cruel to my remains in all situations, as I'm sure more than just myself understands this.
I wanted to get some tanks of helium and have them sat next to a bathtub filled with some substance that will disintegrate myself slowly. I'm thinking this process should be about the period of three days to a week, and ONLY if the odor wouldn't be noticed by the neighbors. I have a small playlist I made for the setup, and Bob Segar is the happy place if I can relax while ctb.
Since I have to put a lot of effort in accomplishing this strategy I was wondering if anyone had ideas for acid baths or something of the sort? I don't want immediate results; if something goes wrong I don't want to end up damaged and in pain.
Another method I think about is jumping off high accessible buildings. I want to seriously go splat. I do not want anything to be salvaged. I think about jumping in front of a train or laying on the ties for the same reason.
I do not plan on making a note. I do not care to tell the people around me my reasons. I do not care if I cause another person harm if I am in the act of ctb. Other people is nearly the last thing on my mind anymore.
