Lament
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- Mar 13, 2023
- 23
Hey guys. Today I left my house to go to the shops for retail therapy and a change of scenery. Thinking more about CTB amongst other things (gore websites, philosophy, drugs) has put me in a somewhat new headspace, one that is even more apathetic and numb to the world than ever before, but one that also almost feels reduced to being confused by everything around me. How can this many things exist in this single world? Videos of gore uploaded online with earnest commenters jeering at it like commonplace; this forum with members new and old alike with threads of anguish, CTB, and in various degrees of physical and mental troubles; but also the same world that has celebrities based on the amount of people that like them and know of their existence; used bookstores that depend on people exchanging old books for new ones; traffic lights that everyone follows (except for those who will walk/drive against the rules, and be instantly perceived as insane/villainous/); homeless people tattered and dirty begging for money but always ensuring that they have cigarettes on hand; wars and poverty in third world countries yet those living in the best first-world countries yell at their governments just as harshly; a general agreement that money should go into historical preservation in funding the maintenance of rituals, arts, landmarks, languages, et al. as if not for this purposeful subsidiary, they would be lost and forgotten either through a lack of public interest or capitalist apathy (and yet these things are deemed important!).
The list can go on and on but everything has hit a new level of absurd to me. Is this all we are? What are we? I looked around today and wondered if every stranger I saw would respond 'yes' if I asked them 'are you happy?'. If not, why aren't they? What do they care about the most?
I don't really know where this is going, just looking to vent my thoughts somewhere I suppose. Insights and comments are appreciated if you guys feel the same about any of this or have anything cool to add. Sorry for the ramble.
The list can go on and on but everything has hit a new level of absurd to me. Is this all we are? What are we? I looked around today and wondered if every stranger I saw would respond 'yes' if I asked them 'are you happy?'. If not, why aren't they? What do they care about the most?
I don't really know where this is going, just looking to vent my thoughts somewhere I suppose. Insights and comments are appreciated if you guys feel the same about any of this or have anything cool to add. Sorry for the ramble.
