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celestialplacebo

celestialplacebo

Placebo
Apr 24, 2025
5
I dont really have anyone to talk to but ive been struggling a little bit. I was clean for like a year i think and then a few weeks ago i cut myself again. i seem to only do it when i hate myself. Ive been a little suicidal as per norm, but its getting progressively worse.

I have a bf, but its a ldr. He doesnt tryst me to talk to anyone because i cheated on him a year ago with a man 3 times my age, i dropped out of school so he would trust me more, but i feel so lonely every day. I have 0 friends, the one that i did have has been ignoring me. I feel so isolated. I live with my mom and my brother, but i feel so miserable all of the time. I leave the house like 3 times a month and i feel my life is pointless again.
What i really want in my life is to make someone happy. I feel worthless and i hate myself, so if im not helping others what am i even doing here? Im a waste of space practically. I constantly avoid my boyfriend because i cant get out of this depression.
Im sure if i cleaned my room id feel better but im too lazy. Bed rotting on the internet is better :3 i love being cozy and secretly hurting myself!!!! No guilt if they cant see it!!!!!!! >-<
 
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