99% of people think like this commenter… and it’s scary

[glowing.purple.aura]

Of course I ended up seeing this while I was already feeling hopeless and wanting to die.

I swear… if you're anything like this commenter, just don't speak, ever. Those of us normal people left in the world will thank you.

This commenter is actually the worst type of person and it seems like everyone these days thinks and acts just like them. They try to justify their selfish actions too by calling them "boundaries"—no, you're just borderline evil.

And the worst part is… suffering will most likely never catch up to them. They'll just continue to live their happy lives while being rewarded by society for having no empathy whatsoever.

 

[SarahThrowsGin]

What's worse, is that this mentality "I'm your friend not a therapist" coexists with therapists who think they (therapists) should debate not validate you, because otherwise therapy wouldn't be different from friendship. Imagine having no friends as autistic person, having only those who will argue not support, then coming to therapy, where therapist decides your views need to be challenged (as if you don't get that for free in daily life). Worse yet, that therapy based on tearing into your views is considered "evidence-based" (CBT). No empathy in society, no empathy in therapy room even when you hire them for money (therapists working in approaches other than CBT can still, and often will in my experience, default to challenging your views, Socratic dialogue etc.).

 

[Jamesbond]

Are you expecting sympathy by posting things that would call for that response, or are you hoping they will have a magic wand and magic things better for you? What makes them a bad person in your eyes?

 

[glowing.purple.aura]

Are you expecting sympathy by posting things that would call for that response, or are you hoping they will have a magic wand and magic things better for you? What makes them a bad person in your eyes?

1. That's not my post, I just came across it
2. I don't even know how to reply to this because it doesn't make sense in response to what I posted... I never suggested that I wanted anyone to fix anything for me. I also think that the screenshot by itself is enough to show that they're a bad person... that's how they react to someone in desperate need of help and support. I don't know how to explain it any further to you.

 

[Jamesbond]

I

1. That's not my post, I just came across it
2. I don't even know how to reply to this because it doesn't make sense in response to what I posted... I never suggested that I wanted anyone to fix anything for me. I also think that the screenshot by itself is enough to show that they're a bad person... that's how they react to someone in desperate need of help and support. I don't know how to explain it any further to you.

I don't think they are a bad person for saying that. I assumed it was your video my apologies for that. I know with my problems there is nobody that can help me with them. If I was to post something on a public platform I wouldn't be expecting someone to magically make me better. He's just wrote he doesn't know them and he's not a therapist. I don't see how that makes them a bad person. I believe now a days people look for reasons to find offence far too easily. It is what it is, just someone responding to a post with an opinion.

 

[owo]

1) social media is shit
2) friendship is degenerated and initial definition is not actual anymore
3) even if 2) wasnt true many others will dont care because of their garbage personality

 

[Jamesbond]

1) social media is shit
2) friendship is degenerated and initial definition is not actual anymore
3) even if 2) wasnt true many others will dont care because of their garbage personality

I don't think it's people don't care, everyone else has so much shit going on of thier own it's a lot to deal with other peoples problems. But you're right, social media in general is shit and not productive

 

[Forever Sleep]

I know I'm being really dense here but- I don't get it... What usually happens when the person in the image randomly tells people they love them then? Why aren't people accepting that they love them? Are they arguing back?

I suppose I'm just trying to recall it from a personal perspective. Usually, it's nice if someone tells you they love you or, appreciate you as a friend. If it's out of the blue though- it may indicate that they are feeling lonely and they want their love to be reciprocated.

So, why would they want the person to accept but ignore that? Wouldn't they actually want an: 'I love you too' in response to that? If they are sending the message out randomly and frequently though- it may lose potency.

I don't know- it just seems an odd phrase to me. I don't know if passive, aggressive is the right term but, it reads like that for me. 'I love you- just accept it.' So- loving but then- assertive and almost borderline aggressive: 'just put the phone down and accept it' is an order! We can't demand people accept our declarations of emotion in a certain way. They will respond in their own way.

The person in the image is saying- accept that I love you and put the phone down- so- accept my affection and shut up about it- effectively. Again- why is the recipient hesitant to accept it? The times when it does annoy me are when someone really has a go at me/ berates for something but then- ends with: 'I do love you'.

Maybe they nagged because they cared but people also nag and berate us because it suits them. They effectively upset you but then want reassurance that they haven't damaged the relationship. So- that feels manipulative in that moment. They upset you then, emotionally blackmail you into accepting their love and (hopefully) returning it. When- in that moment- you might be feeling angry with them. 'I love you' can be used manipulatively as well.

Maybe that's what the commenter meant. That they wouldn't be drawn into a discussion on what the person actually meant. They would do as they asked- just accept the text and not be pulled into a heated discussion. That said- the 'therapy' comment was unpleasant.

Really though- if you received that as a message from someone- wouldn't you feel like you'd done something wrong to them? It sounds more aggressive/ manipulative to me- rather than purely friendly and loving.

 

[Jamesbond]

I know I'm being really dense here but- I don't get it... What usually happens when the person in the image randomly tells people they love them then? Why aren't people accepting that they love them? Are they arguing back?

I suppose I'm just trying to recall it from a personal perspective. Usually, it's nice if someone tells you they love you or, appreciate you as a friend. If it's out of the blue though- it may indicate that they are feeling lonely and they want their love to be reciprocated.

So, why would they want the person to accept but ignore that? Wouldn't they actually want an: 'I love you too' in response to that? If they are sending the message out randomly and frequently though- it may lose potency.

I don't know- it just seems an odd phrase to me. I don't know if passive, aggressive is the right term but, it reads like that for me. 'I love you- just accept it.' So- loving but then- assertive and almost borderline aggressive: 'just put the phone down and accept it' is an order! We can't demand people accept our declarations of emotion in a certain way. They will respond in their own way.

The person in the image is saying- accept that I love you and put the phone down- so- accept my affection and shut up about it- effectively. Again- why is the recipient hesitant to accept it? The times when it does annoy me are when someone really has a go at me/ berates for something but then- ends with: 'I do love you'.

Maybe they nagged because they cared but people also nag and berate us because it suits them. They effectively upset you but then want reassurance that they haven't damaged the relationship. So- that feels manipulative in that moment. They upset you then, emotionally blackmail you into accepting their love and (hopefully) returning it. When- in that moment- you might be feeling angry with them. 'I love you' can be used manipulatively as well.

Maybe that's what the commenter meant. That they wouldn't be drawn into a discussion on what the person actually meant. They would do as they asked- just accept the text and not be pulled into a heated discussion. That said- the 'therapy' comment was unpleasant.

Really though- if you received that as a message from someone- wouldn't you feel like you'd done something wrong to them? It sounds more aggressive/ manipulative to me- rather than purely friendly and loving.

Similar view to me but I don't think it makes them a nasty person. The reality is they aren't thier therapist. For me therapists for the best part don't actually give a shit they are paid to sit there and listen to you, they rarely remember what you tell them week to week and it's like a repetitive cycle of repetition and no resolution. If the people paid to help can't invest in people, I don't think it's fair to suddenly attack someone for effectively saying "I don't give a shit I've got my own problems to deal with". The reality is nobody has a magic wand to make someone better, putting expectation on strangers is either a cry for help or an unrealistic expectation that they will fix you.
As I've grown older and deteriorated more mentally and socially I've learned hard lessons about the system.
It's just a harsh reality that you learn to accept.

 

[eggsausagerice]

I know I'm being really dense here but- I don't get it... What usually happens when the person in the image randomly tells people they love them then? Why aren't people accepting that they love them? Are they arguing back?

I suppose I'm just trying to recall it from a personal perspective. Usually, it's nice if someone tells you they love you or, appreciate you as a friend. If it's out of the blue though- it may indicate that they are feeling lonely and they want their love to be reciprocated.

So, why would they want the person to accept but ignore that? Wouldn't they actually want an: 'I love you too' in response to that? If they are sending the message out randomly and frequently though- it may lose potency.

people send i love you texts at 3-4 am because they're planning on killing themselves and/or suicidebaiting so that someone talks them out of it. if you're legitimately asking why someone would get a negative response for texting i love you, anyway.

They try to justify their selfish actions too by calling them "boundaries"—no, you're just borderline evil.

And the worst part is… suffering will most likely never catch up to them. They'll just continue to live their happy lives while being rewarded by society for having no empathy whatsoever.

Are you expecting sympathy by posting things that would call for that response, or are you hoping they will have a magic wand and magic things better for you?

to be honest, while i agree that people can be callous towards severely depressed or actively suicidal people, there's no reason to send a suicidey text like i love you and hope that someone texts you back, when other people could be busy or sleeping. it's no one's responsibility to be there to comfort you while you go through your own problems. my main issue with the tiktok is how it seems inherently attention seeking and vague, because they don't even say "i'm thinking/going to kill myself", they're just hoping someone interprets it as them having suicidal thoughts and steps in.

in my worst moments, i've texted someone to tell me that i should've been aborted and that i should kill myself, because i think that i contribute nothing to society by being depressed. i didn't want to be talked out of suicide, but it's still attention seeking of me to talk about suicide while i'm actively ideating and trying to harm myself. talking about suicidal ideation is usually harmful to most relationships because it creates the feeling that you need to be comforted or that you're triggering to be around when you talk about suicide unprompted.

i've been in the same situation where i've talked about suicide over and over and i eventually cut the person i was talking to off because i felt like an emotional burden or like only someone that was actually suicidal could relate to what i was talking about. i still get worried when someone passively brings up killing themselves too many times and i wonder if they want me to notice and tell them i care about them. it's draining to feel like i have to be there for people for their own sake instead of for mine, and i imagine that other people would feel the same way about me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Similar view to me but I don't think it makes them a nasty person. The reality is they aren't thier therapist. For me therapists for the best part don't actually give a shit they are paid to sit there and listen to you, they rarely remember what you tell them week to week and it's like a repetitive cycle of repetition and no resolution. If the people paid to help can't invest in people, I don't think it's fair to suddenly attack someone for effectively saying "I don't give a shit I've got my own problems to deal with". The reality is nobody has a magic wand to make someone better, putting expectation on strangers is either a cry for help or an unrealistic expectation that they will fix you.
As I've grown older and deteriorated more mentally and socially I've learned hard lessons about the system.
It's just a harsh reality that you learn to accept.

I just find both the initial quote and the response kind of weird- to be honest. The initial quote I find more aggressive than loving. Maybe the commenter is saying: 'You need therapy' for that- which isn't very kind.

The initial person doesn't sound (to me) like they are even asking someone else to solve their problems though. It's more like they're having a go at whoever they are in a tumultuous relationship with. As in- just accept that I love you without any back chat.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Forever Sleep]

people send i love you texts at 3-4 am because they're planning on killing themselves and/or suicidebaiting so that someone talks them out of it

Maybe it's just me but- the quote doesn't read like that to me. More like someone in the midst of an argument with their significant other. As in- just accept that I love you and shut up about it.

 

[eggsausagerice]

More like someone in the midst of an argument with their significant other. As in- just accept that I love you and shut up about it.

"if i randomly text you" is the context clue for it being about suicide than a relationship with someone. people usually don't mind someone saying i love you, and saying "put the phone down" implies that the poster expects someone to do something about it (wellness check/talking them out of it). it's a very common thing to do for younger people to do online. it often leads to resentment.

chiikawuuuh.... save me...

 

[Forever Sleep]

"if i randomly text you" is the context clue for it being about suicide than a relationship with someone. people usually don't mind someone saying i love you, and saying "put the phone down" implies that the poster expects someone to do something about it (wellness check/talking them out of it). it's a very common thing to do for younger people to do online. it often leads to resentment.


chiikawuuuh.... save me...

I see it now. I feel really stupid interpreting it differently now!

In that context- the way that person responded was unkind. I suppose I'm still puzzled at the original though. Even now- in this context. Is it a cry for help? Is it a genuine plea that they would want to be left to suicide when the time comes? Is it a kind of warning to people to look out for messages like these?

I'm just a dinosaur I suppose! It would feel far too risky to post sonething like this- unless you wanted to draw attention and be stopped. So- I guess that's suicide baiting?

On the one hand, it's sad people have to resort to that to get a reaction. On the other though- if it's a frequent occurrence- we probably need to be looking at how much we do expect of others. I never threatened suicide as such but I know I've been too emotionally dependent on friends in the past.

 

[Jamesbond]

I just find both the initial quote and the response kind of weird- to be honest. The initial quote I find more aggressive than loving. Maybe the commenter is saying: 'You need therapy' for that- which isn't very kind.

The initial person doesn't sound (to me) like they are even asking someone else to solve their problems though. It's more like they're having a go at whoever they are in a tumultuous relationship with. As in- just accept that I love you without any back chat.

What is the ultimate objective outcome someone is hoping for. I get the whole crying for help thing. Maybe I've just lived it too long, I have become very black and white in my thinking over the years.
If you've genuinely reached the point you don't want to live anymore nobody can help you. If you don't have the tools to fix yourself it's not like you're a car that can be repaired. It's ok for me if someone calls me a fuckup or says they don't care, . It's why i don't post online on anything explaining or at least trying to explain my problems. Nobody is going to relate to them besides maybe on here.
I don't have the confidence or desire to post on a platform like TikTok saying I'm going to end my life, because it serves no purpose.
If I did I'd expect nothing from it because everyone else has thier own shit going on and I suppose platforms like that are designed to be an escape from the harsh realities of life.

 

[Apathy79]

Bit like others. No idea what the post even means. Is she saying she wants them to put the phone down? Did they do something else? Maybe the commenter knows what she means? The whole thing seems like cryptic nonsense to me but maybe I just don't get it.