30+ peer support thread.

[FadingSnowFake]

Same, 50 does feel old but my issues are I'm exhausted and cant step off the work treadmill and just enjoy whats left of life

We lose our jobs and we lose everything and can never get that back, especially in the US with health care being tied to work

I was leading a tiny team that made my employer millions a week in revenue, but a clueless greedy executive canceled it because they thought that a brand new project could make even more money , it didn't and I lost everything , the exec obviously didn't feel any pain from that decision, but I can't deal with being back to the general pool and competing with guys half my age and honestly I just want to check out. No kids so that makes this a lot easier

It's a senseless rat race we pay taxes to be part of, everything costs money, and the system uses us until we are useless. Bouncing back after life's strikes becomes harder, and years are unkind. Do you have friends, family or someone to spend time with outside of work?

 

[U. A.]

Bumping this because a very similar unofficial thread is seeing some activity, and imo it's much better for things like this to be concentrated in threads that have more history, and exist in pinned posts as they're ultimately easier to find.

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

I fit this perfectly. I'm 37. But I've been suicidal since the age of 12…

I'm turning 37 this year and 12 is around the same age for me. I swallowed large handfuls of ibuprofen. I didn't realize at the time it wouldn't work.

Even though I'm getting old I feel like my body is fine but my mind is not

Yeah that is how I feel at 36. I mean, obviously I'm not quite as agile and in shape as I was at 18. But, for the most part, I do feel like I'm still 18. Yet, my mind is like, "Nope, this isn't happening".

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I'm turning 37 this year and 12 is around the same age for me. I swallowed large handfuls of ibuprofen. I didn't realize at the time it wouldn't work.

Yeah that is how I feel at 36. I mean, obviously I'm not quite as agile and in shape as I was at 18. But, for the most part, I do feel like I'm still 18. Yet, my mind is like, "Nope, this isn't happening".

Hey, we're the same age.

My problem is in terms of achievement, I'm a teenager. I screwed up college and dropped out as a senior. My mind has been messed up since then, I've never really rested in 15 years, everything is wrong.

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

I'm still trying to get over the awkwardness of being a full grown mature adult and being suicidal. I don't know if I just feel that way because of my chaotic past or what. But it sure is nice to have this specific thread.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I just want the courage to use that damn rope. So many people have done it. Worldwide, hundreds of thousands a year. Just get over it!

 

[ConfusedClouds]

Also 36. Also feel more like I'm still a teen. Except I'm not. And everyone around me is very adult (relationships/families). I seem to live an existence of autopilot adulting - thinking is not an option for me. I implode and spiral so bad. Still not sure how I've ended up where I am with a good job and an actual rented flat of my own. Nor where the years keep disappearing to. I barely can process anything outside of this week.

 

[Grog]

I'm 31, but I don't feel like it. I feel like a kid still. I wish I still was. I can't handle being an adult.
And because of that, at 31, I can't find anyone to relate to. Most people keep their distance away from me.

 

[itsgone2]

It's a senseless rat race we pay taxes to be part of, everything costs money, and the system uses us until we are useless. Bouncing back after life's strikes becomes harder, and years are unkind. Do you have friends, family or someone to spend time with outside of work?

I'm 52. I've had 30 years of good pay. Some years very good. All that paid in for nothing. Don't get to enjoy any of it.

Senseless. This whole life had no meaning.

Really wish I could go to my rope right now. Or I had a gun. Eventually. I bet we all crack.

What was the point? My life had no meaning. I provided little value. I harmed more than helped. Just a bad person and I don't know why.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

I'm 52. I've had 30 years of good pay. Some years very good. All that paid in for nothing. Don't get to enjoy any of it.

Senseless. This whole life had no meaning.

Really wish I could go to my rope right now. Or I had a gun. Eventually. I bet we all crack.

What was the point? My life had no meaning. I provided little value. I harmed more than helped. Just a bad person and I don't know why.

Maybe you're a bit hard on yourself. We all do what we can. Value? Mm, yes, I'm trying to think where I added something too, it seems so empty now looking back. I think if I could share it with someone, there could be meaning. But with nobody to share things with, it feels pointless. And I f*cked up my chance there.

To think some people in their 70s and 80s are still positive. We have politicians and presidents that age. Mind you, maybe they already cracked, maybe that's why they start wars. I think I cracked when I became suicidal, and now I feel in limbo before making peace with the end, or crack again, whichever happens first.

I had 32 years of work, and unlucky maybe three years of good pay working abroad. Funny, even now I'm applying for jobs and while I wonder why, I know I just have to make a change. I just counted I had 13 employers in my life so far. One of my previous bosses used to say "a rolling stone gathers no moss". I wonder if his life turned out to be meaningful. Are you retired now?