Well, I applied many times and finally succeeded, but I also feel that it is meaningless. It was always an obsession before I succeeded. I want to succeed, um (¯―¯٥) Maybe it's the same when I chase that girl. I will feel it's meaningless even if I chase her back.
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My previous account on this website was banned for harassment and suspected (but unconfirmed) doxxing.
It's "Su Xin" — you can try looking for it on the recovery page.
I can't reply to that post anymore, I can only say it's fake. Beneath the seemingly perfect appearance, there were a lot of difficulties. The reason we broke up is that I couldn't stand her ignoring my emotional needs and being self-centered. (Oh
, she just happened to be sick during those days, and then she exploded.)Up until now, every time she felt even slightly offended or unhappy, she would verbally abuse me—insults, belittling, emotional manipulation, and so on. Basically, I wasn't allowed to have any negative emotions. She even tried to gaslight me (she admitted it herself), encouraged me to commit suicide, and showed me violent, bloody, nihilistic content. And honestly, these are just the surface-level things—I won't even get into the deeper stuff.
What kind of person is she, seriously—what's wrong with her? I wonder if she even knows herself, if she has any self-awareness at all. Some of her posts were exaggerated (she admitted that herself). She also said the relationship between us started because she pretended to be pitiful (again, her own words). Of course, I'm not saying I'm perfect, but from my perspective, I've admitted my mistakes and done what needed to be done. Is having emotional needs really that hard to accept?
I basically agreed to and fulfilled all of her needs. During the first month, everything was centered around whether she was happy or not—I often asked if she was happy, how she was feeling, and so on. The next one or two months were pretty much the same. But after the new semester started, I began to want some companionship. (I mean, seeing my friends so happy with their partners—how could I not have any thoughts about that?)
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