Venting "You're so young, you've got your whole life ahead of you!"

[marcusuk63]

Why are you being such a boomer? If you're older and still want to ctb then how can you tell this person it will get better when it hasn't for you.

I Cant help being a "Boomer " as a boomer is someone born between 1946 -1964 . Unless you young whippersnappers have adopted it and giving it a totally different meaning .
Schools were better then though as i`m not sure you understood [B]Epsilon0[/B] witty response or the fact i said i concured ?

 

[gnomeboy17]

*****Uh, epsilon0 said that, not me

Yes I know you didn't, but I was replying to epilison and then you just randomly said "what am I assuming" well, here's what YOU assumed, that the post was aimed at you when it was so clearly aimed at epilison.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Are you mentally or physically ill?

I am mentally ill, but I'm not sure with what. I haven't been able to get clear answers from psychiatrists, but I know I had a brain hemorrhage as an infant, but it's hard for me to tell exactly how it may or may not be affecting me today. I keep trying to get my records from the hospital that treated me for it, but trying to get them is about as hard as pulling their teeth, apparently.

 

[Epsilon0]

Sorry, my bad. I meant to say "a great future ahead of you."

Just a Freudian slip, good people!

Nothing to see here.

 

[jonionl]

I am young, but my life has been painful since the age of 5. I don't know why people don't get that if I'm already having a bad life, things won't magically get better just because I'm getting older. I'm certain my problems will just get worse with age.

 

[gnomeboy17]

Sorry, my bad. I meant to say "a great future ahead of you."

Just a Freudian slip, good people!

Nothing to see here.

I understand that's what you meant. I just got mad because you're assuming about someone's life when all you know is their age

 

[terry_a_davis]

I am mentally ill, but I'm not sure with what. I haven't been able to get clear answers from psychiatrists, but I know I had a brain hemorrhage as an infant, but it's hard for me to tell exactly how it may or may not be affecting me today. I keep trying to get my records from the hospital that treated me for it, but trying to get them is about as hard as pulling their teeth, apparently.

I guess i should've added in my 1st comment if you have a mental/physical illness then this might prevent you from improving your life. I know life can change though. I'm diagnosed ADHD which is a life long condition, I had an amazing time from 29 to mid 30s.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I understand that's what you meant. I just got mad because you're assuming about someone's life when all you know is their age

Even though it might seem like Epsilon is making an unfounded assumption about us, they have it right. We do have great futures ahead of us, even if that future includes hijacking the bus like a boss and squealing the tires on our way into the afterlife.

 

[gnomeboy17]

Even though it might seem like Epsilon is making an unfounded assumption about us, they have it right. We do have great futures ahead of us, even if that future includes hijacking the bus like a boss and squealing the tires on our way into the afterlife.

I assume you're joking about having a great future, but genuinely, the only hope of my future getting better is when I die

 

[262653]

How do you personally respond ? :/

I'm not holding that much firm beliefs (or so I believe), so instead of objecting with statements I'd try to bombard with questions to test their arguments. "What are you implying? Is that necessarily a good/bad thing? Would you say that thing to a convict who has 30 years of prison ahead of him? Would you say that to someone you don't know much about or what they've been through?" And go from their answers. But who am I kidding. All I'm going to do is listen silently. (Lol, I just noticed that the words "listen" and "silent" consist of the same set of words letters.)

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I assume you're joking about having a great future, but genuinely, the only hope of my future getting better is when I die

I was joking a little bit, yes. Dying probably doesn't sound like a very good future when it seems like the only option available to us, since life forces us into a position where we have to decide to do it or not. But in seriousness, dying can be a great future if we are able to leave this world in a unique way that makes us feel at peace while it's happening. Taking that leap over to the other side, without knowing what is there, is kind of badass, if one can find the courage to overcome survival instinct and "hijack the bus". Perhaps that is the "great future" that awaits some of us?

 

[Epsilon0]

Hmm... I feel I should state the obvious before this discussion goes any further.

Both my posts were jokes.

The first one was a play on words, where I substituted "ahead" with "behind", and the second one was a nod to Sigmund Freud who wrote extensivly on how humour is achieved linguistically through substitution.

 

[Otter]

I was joking a little bit, yes. Dying probably doesn't sound like a very good future when it seems like the only option available to us, since life forces us into a position where we have to decide to do it or not. But in seriousness, dying can be a great future if we are able to leave this world in a unique way that makes us feel at peace while it's happening. Taking that leap over to the other side, without knowing what is there, is kind of badass, if one can find the courage to overcome survival instinct and "hijack the bus". Perhaps that is the "great future" that awaits some of us?

hijack...love it!

 

[fficiallyjawshh]

I'm not holding that much firm beliefs (or so I believe), so instead of objecting with statements I'd try to bombard with questions to test their arguments. "What are you implying? Is that necessarily a good/bad thing? Would you say that thing to a convict who has 30 years of prison ahead of him? Would you say that to someone you don't know much about or what they've been through?" And go from their answers. But who am I kidding. All I'm going to do is listen silently. (Lol, I just noticed that the words "listen" and "silent" consist of the same set of words.)

Not to ignore your main point but I've spent a whole minute rearranging the letters to "silent" and "listen" bc your discovery has actually blown my easily impressed mind

 

[Indieblue]

I thought about this. If i was hospitalised and doctor said this thing to me, I would just look blankly out the window. Or look at their face blankly and wait till they stop talking. But then i am already in my late twenties. So i think they wouldn't.

 

[LosinIt20]

I hate hearing this . Like yes, I understand that there's definitely a possibility that life will get better but just as much as there's that possibility, there's the possibility that it won't . I can be just as unhappy in 30 years as I am now but no one wants to acknowledge the likelihood of that . I can't blame them bc it's a depressing way to look at ones future but fucking hell . For all the "older" users (I'm 20 for context) how do you feel when someone tells you "it will get better" ? How do you personally respond ? :/

It makes me angry and I don't wanna hear it. If I felt like life was goons get better I wouldn't be where I am today. Ready to die. My life has never been good so I don't know what better is. I'm 27 years old I'm not going another 27 years with depression. I got 2 weeks left on this earth I can't wait to end it all

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I'm 27 and don't want to go on like this. And I think I lived enough. If I go on I'm definitely a masochist. I won't allow myself make it through my 30s. No.

 

[Indieblue]

I am young, but my life has been painful since the age of 5. I don't know why people don't get that if I'm already having a bad life, things won't magically get better just because I'm getting older. I'm certain my problems will just get worse with age.

I have been depressed since i was around 10. So my heart goes out for you. I always thought how it is cruel people promise hope so easily. But no one can promise anything. At least that is what i think as a person who has been depressed for 18 years.

 

[fficiallyjawshh]

I'm 27 and don't want to go on like this. And I think I lived enough. If I go on I'm definitely a masochist. I won't allow myself make it through my 30s. No.

That's how I feel about my 20s . I wanna bite the bullet before I turn 21 in a little less than a month . Hopefully we'll find peace soon :,)

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I'm 27 and don't want to go on like this. And I think I lived enough. If I go on I'm definitely a masochist. I won't allow myself make it through my 30s. No.

I'm the same age as you and I think that I will try to at least make it to 30, but then I'm done waiting around for other people. After that, it will be time to hijack the bus.

 

[faust]

I think it is one of the most annoying phrases which can be told to a long-term suicidal person.
If you are almost 100% sure that your life won't get better and somebody is trying to build a delusion inside your mind, this is merely a vain attempt to convince that sun rises in the south and moon is square.
Especially when you are sure about your CTB, that sounds even a bit hilarious. Like yes, it will get better - I will pass away soon.
It is same as telling the person with multiple metastases that you have a long life ahead and everything will get better.
Phone call to Samaritans:
-Hello, can I help you?
-Hello, I want to commit a suicide...
**********Lost connection*************
-...It will get better
- Oh ye, it will, thanks for encouragement, I was not ready yet.

 

[Ksab]

I hate hearing this . Like yes, I understand that there's definitely a possibility that life will get better but just as much as there's that possibility, there's the possibility that it won't . I can be just as unhappy in 30 years as I am now but no one wants to acknowledge the likelihood of that . I can't blame them bc it's a depressing way to look at ones future but fucking hell . For all the "older" users (I'm 20 for context) how do you feel when someone tells you "it will get better" ? How do you personally respond ? :/

I get that a lot, I'm 18.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

It's just shit people say based on what gets them through the day, or because things did get better for them. They did get better for me. Adolescence was hell, and imo the 20s are like the adolescence of adulthood. I didn't start really coming into my own until my mid to late 20s, my 30s were better, 40s were even better. But that doesn't mean it's that way for everyone. And I agree with the member who said the brain is still developing until around 25, especially cognitive and risk-taking. So it's something to consider. Patience and long-term forward thinking aren't yet developed by life experience nor by the brain. Not being negating, just broadening the perspective.

Another perspective, far more aligned with the OP, is that I said from my early 20s I didn't want children. So many folks said, "There's plenty of time to change your mind," and many said I would change my mind. So negating, like what OP is experiencing irl. I was so glad everyone finally stfu about it by my late 30s.

 

[Mizzmini45]

Well to be honest I knew at 19 and wish I ended it there. It just didn't get better but worse. Everyone is different. It might be different for you

 

[MissingIt]

As someone in my late 30s who has been suicidal since at least 8 years old, it didn't get better for me. It didn't get (much) worse either though. Everyone has an extremely different experience through life though, and it's possible the longer you try, something might turn out good for you. I have been able to just lock away most of my mental pain to make life mostly bearable. However, I now have health issues that are almost assuredly related to my lack of giving any shit about my life, so I know it's time to move on.

I will say though, if you don't make a concentrated effort to improve your life and mental well-being, which can be extremely difficult coming from the places we do, it would probably take a cosmic stroke of luck for things to get noticeably better. Just sitting by and hoping for things to get better will not work. But once you end it, you have no chance at all, so don't take that option lightly.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Another perspective, far more aligned with the OP, is that I said from my early 20s I didn't want children. So many folks said, "There's plenty of time to change your mind," and many said I would change my mind. So negating, like what OP is experiencing irl. I was so glad everyone finally stfu about it by my late 30s.

I used to hear that shit all the time and it was just as annoying as the pro-life platitudes are now. At least they stfu about it for me as well. The only thing that I have been hearing lately is "You just have to find the right one" whenever I say that I have no interest in dating or getting married, but I only hear that once in a while, so it's not too bad. Keeping my mouth shut about suicide and other topics seems to be the key to avoid people saying annoying things like the above examples.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

For me personally I don't like the assumption that just because someone is young life will certainly get better. Everyone is different, everyone processes trauma, grief and life circumstances differently. What is easy for one person to over come the next person might not be able to. Sure it definitely could get better but it also could get worse.

In my own life it got way way worse as an adult. I cannot handle the typical adult responsibilities due to my many mental conditions. Having the burden of failed relationships, failed at jobs and being failed at being financially independent has taken its toll on me. Since age 22 after the typical adult life of work to live to pay bills set in not one good thing has happened to me and it's not due to my lack of trying...some people are just sadly incapable due to overwhelmingly bad life circumstances. I feel like I was set up for failure...I'm in my late 20s and in my worst spot in life.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Another thing, OP asked about older folks vs being in your 20s. Things changed with the 2008 financial crisis. Suddenly jobs that had traditionally gone to teens and got them into the workforce were taken over by adults, like delivering newspapers, mowing lawns, and working in fast food. College education has become so ubiquitous that, since the early 2000s, it no longer makes someone competitive in the workforce. From 2008, folks in their 20s-40s moved back into their parents' homes in droves. Now folks can't get even get out.

I'm 48. We didn't have NEETs when I was walking to school uphill both ways barefoot in the snow. I had a weekend Pennysaver paper route from age 9 to 12. I had a weekend job at a park meet in junior high. At 14 and 15, I worked summers at my church's day care. I worked in grocery stores, retail, and fast food a couple years in high school, and then lucked into part-time office jobs starting at 17. I worked office jobs full-time and went to college part-time for eight years before I got my undergrad at 29. I was able to move out of my parents' home at 19, was briefly married at 22 and he already had a house, and at 24 I had my own one-bedroom apartment.

In the 80s and 90s there were challenges for young adults entering the workforce, but there were infinitely more opportunities than there are now, and a bachelor's degree gave a leg up, a master's degree even more so, and not having completed higher education earlier definitely hurt my earning potential. By the late 90s, a bachelor's degree was required to be a receptionist, when I had been doing that at 17-21, so all my years of admin work plus a BA kept me stuck in higher levels of admin work, sales was the only other avenue for advancement and I didn't want to rely on commissions for my income. It also hurt me that I couldn't intern because I didn't have time, I was already self-supporting. I didn't complete either grad program, but I went to grad school to get to a higher level and have more interesting work. Then my disability showed up at 44, and other shitty and increasingly insurmountable things. But for a while, starting around 35, and especially at 40-44, life was pretty damn good. Those last four years, I was happy and really had hope.

I wouldn't want to be a millennial. From where I sit, things look bleak for Gen Y and especially for millennials. I cannot blame them at all for calling bullshit when someone says it will get better.

 

[Deformationalplagio]

Im 27 not that old but why should i live a live being deformed. Got my whole life in front of me? The only thing i can do is watch everyone being happy having normal faces and i wake up everyday with only one thing on my mind "i will never look normal" i didnt even had a life to begin with. Im here because of ignorant and selfish people wanting me to live this life because it made them look good and caring. Im just a tool and no one gives a flying fuck if i even wanted to be here. Im not living this life, im spectating others lives. They can put that "you have a whole life in front of you" right up into there buthole. Its great being here knowing you will have suffer till the end or kill yourself while you really wanted a life. Life is fuckd up and if there is some kind of god i will beat the shit out of him when i get there

 

[fficiallyjawshh]

I get that a lot, I'm 18.

It can be such a frustrating thing to hear .

As someone in my late 30s who has been suicidal since at least 8 years old, it didn't get better for me. It didn't get (much) worse either though. Everyone has an extremely different experience through life though, and it's possible the longer you try, something might turn out good for you. I have been able to just lock away most of my mental pain to make life mostly bearable. However, I now have health issues that are almost assuredly related to my lack of giving any shit about my life, so I know it's time to move on.

I will say though, if you don't make a concentrated effort to improve your life and mental well-being, which can be extremely difficult coming from the places we do, it would probably take a cosmic stroke of luck for things to get noticeably better. Just sitting by and hoping for things to get better will not work. But once you end it, you have no chance at all, so don't take that option lightly.

I made a post not too long ago about being over trying to be happy and at this point would rather be dead . Why continue to exhaust myself trying to be happy when I could just peace out and don't have to worry about happiness or any of that shit y'know ?