Venting "You're so young, you've got your whole life ahead of you!"

[fficiallyjawshh]

I hate hearing this . Like yes, I understand that there's definitely a possibility that life will get better but just as much as there's that possibility, there's the possibility that it won't . I can be just as unhappy in 30 years as I am now but no one wants to acknowledge the likelihood of that . I can't blame them bc it's a depressing way to look at ones future but fucking hell . For all the "older" users (I'm 20 for context) how do you feel when someone tells you "it will get better" ? How do you personally respond ? :/

 

[TeenIdle]

Well, I don't blame people, they are ok or at least in a level that doesn't affect them mentally and they try to be optimistic and cheer you up. When they tell me It will get better I just say I wish...

 

[kamakura]

It just a general saying, people say that to everyone as if it can be generalised. Homeless hear it, disabled people hear it, poor low-income people hear it, rich people facing sudden bumps hear it. Even unhappy Don Trump hear it.

 

[Sweet Release]

I was chatting with someone in a private message about CTB a whilst ago.
When they mentioned they were 20 I felt like I had to say something; I guess you feel sense of responsibility when its someone who is young but it can come across as patronising.

When they said if life gets better then how come you're here I honestly couldn't argue with them.
Anyway, I guess I'm not being very helpful but either way I hope things get better for you.

 

[Oyoy]

What would you say to someone who was 10 that wanted to ctb?

 

[gnomeboy17]

I understand why people say that, because I'm 18, but I've already been feeling this for 5 years. How much longer am I supposed to wait? Also, it clearly doesn't always get better as loads of people over 30 cbt.

 

[Kumachan]

At least young age is a positive asset... On the other hand things like "it will get better", "hang in there", "permanent solution to a permanent problem" well, just usless... Usually takes time to exhaust all possibilities and arrive at the final solution

 

[ready55]

Well, truth is you are young. Your brain (frontal lope) is literally still developing. Don't know your circumstances but just going off what you said I'd encourage for you to give it time. And maybe that's not what's needed. Maybe meds are, maybe a relationship, exercise, etc, and yes maybe ctb. Not enough info to really cask an official take but yes you do have your whole life in front of you, and yes maybe it's a shit life. But, I'd say time and maybe make some personal changes, see if you change your mind.

 

[Otter]

I think it's because there is such a difference between someone situationally depressed versus someone suffering from years of MDD. We hide our depression so they have no way of knowing which one you have and assume it is situational, in which case it does get better (usually). It is beyond mind-numbing when you've lived your whole life with depression for someone to say it gets better. I know most people say it just to mean well, but it is so minimizing to those of us that have struggled our whole life.( I will be 60 this year)

 

[Mr2005]

It's just too soon to decide it's over that's all but then we live in a culture of writing things off after two seconds that doesn't exactly fill one with hope

 

[gnomeboy17]

I think it's because there is such a difference between someone situationally depressed versus someone suffering from years of MDD. We hide our depression so they have no way of knowing which one you have and assume it is situational, in which case it does get better (usually). It is beyond mind-numbing when you've lived your whole life with depression for someone to say it gets better. I know most people say it just to mean well, but it is so minimizing to those of us that have struggled our whole life.

Yes but you can still be young and suffer for years, older and not suffer for long

 

[Epsilon0]

I am almost twice your age and I can attest to the fact that you have a great future behind you.

 

[gnomeboy17]

I am almost twice your age and I can attest to the fact that you have a great future behind you.

Then how come you're on this forum? If you're older and still want to CTB? You know nothing about anyone elses situation, it's so ignorent to assume

 

[fficiallyjawshh]

What would you say to someone who was 10 that wanted to ctb?

I've actually talked to younger people who've wanted to ctb and I honestly can't tell them not to . It would be incredibly hypocritical . But I don't tell them to go ahead and do it either . I ususally try and get them to talk it out and listen to their situation and help w/that specific situation, taking the focus off of suicide since I wouldn't feel comfortable telling them not to do it . It sounds weird to say .

 

[gnomeboy17]

What would you say to someone who was 10 that wanted to ctb?

Tbf, there is a MASSIVE difference in emotional intelligence between 10 and 18. If someone was 16, I would suggest that they shouldn't ctb. But once 18 they are fully capable to make decisions for themselves, and like op said, it would be hypocrital

 

[Otter]

Yes but you can still be young and suffer for years, older and not suffer for long

Oh, for sure. Didn't mean it was just an old persons problem. Just trying to say, if it feels shitty to hear this at a young age, imagine how it feels to be told this at my age and how long I've felt like utter shit year in and year out...non.stop.shit

 

[fficiallyjawshh]

I understand why people say that, because I'm 18, but I've already been feeling this for 5 years. How much longer am I supposed to wait? Also, it clearly doesn't always get better as loads of people over 30 cbt.

Exactly this .

 

[Mr2005]

Tbf, there is a MASSIVE difference in emotional intelligence between 10 and 18. If someone was 16, I would suggest that they shouldn't ctb. But once 18 they are fully capable to make decisions for themselves, and like op said, it would be hypocrital

That's fairly ignorant to assume. It's just a number and time has proven it doesn't mean anything. Everyone's different

 

[Otter]

Then how come you're on this forum? If you're older and still want to CTB? You know nothing about anyone elses situation, it's so ignorent to assume

In not sure I understand what you think I'm assuming?
I'm on this forum because up until February I didn't even know it existed and it's the only place where I can discuss things with like-minded people. you have no idea what strength it takes to live this long feeling this bad., but minimize away, my friend

 

[gnomeboy17]

In not sure I understand what you think I'm assuming?

You literally said "I can attest to the fact that you have a great future behind you."

Despite knowing absolutely nothing about this person or their situation. Just that they are younger than you.

 

[marcusuk63]

I am almost twice your age and I can attest to the fact that you have a great future behind you.

I`m nearly 3 times older and i concur . society went down hill with the advent of mobile phones and the internet .
Ironic that with the rise of "social " media we have become less social , to a point where you dont know your next door neighbours name let alone the full street and neighbouring streets .

 

[gnomeboy17]

I`m nearly 3 times older and i concur . society went down hill with the advent of mobile phones and the internet .
Ironic that with the rise of "social " media we have become less social , to a point where you dont know your next door neighbours name let alone the full street and neighbouring streets .

Why are you being such a boomer? If you're older and still want to ctb then how can you tell this person it will get better when it hasn't for you.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

You literally said "I can attest to the fact that you have a great future behind you."

But it was Epsilon0 that said that, not Otter. I think you might have gotten the two mixed up just a bit.

 

[terry_a_davis]

Life can change for the better and the younger you are i think the more chance that this can happen. Younger people have a better chance of getting jobs especially trainee jobs, are more frequent users of dating apps to find partners and aren't looked at as being too old if you venture into bars/clubs etc, are generally physically fitter so can more easily take up new hobbies like keeping fit, females above a certain age can't start a family, a younger persons peers haven't usually married off & had kids so they have more friends available to socialise with.

I know life can change as my best years were 18 to 36, especially 29 to mid 30's. I'm not writing off all oldies, i'm in my 40's and retraining, but i know i'm gonna have a hard time finding a job at my age and with such gaps in employment and my chance at having a family is gone.

EDIT to add if you're seriously mentally/physically ill you might be unable to improve your life no matter what your intentions.

 

[gnomeboy17]

But it was Epsilon0 that said that, not Otter. I think you might have gotten the two mixed up just a bit.

No, they got confused, it wasn't aimed at otter, as you can tell by the quotes, they just randomly said "what am I assuming" even though it was aimed at epsilon. So I replied direct.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Life can change for the better and the younger you are i think the more chance that this can happen. Younger people have a better chance of getting jobs especially trainee jobs, are more frequent users of dating apps to find partners, are generally physically fitter so can more easily take up new hobbies like keeping fit, females above a certain age can't start a family, a younger persons peers haven't usually married off & had kids so have more friends available to socialise with.

Well, that is probably true for the pro-life normies who aren't using this site, but for us youngsters who are here, we're probably just as screwed as the people twice our age.

No, they got confused, it wasn't aimed at otter, as you can tell by the quotes, they just randomly said "what am I assuming" even though it was aimed at epsilon. So I replied direct.

Okay, I was a little confused because you quoted Otter.

 

[gnomeboy17]

Well, that is probably true for the pro-life normies who aren't using this site, but for us youngsters who are here, we're probably just as screwed as the people twice our age.

Fr, some of these responses are so prolife and what you'd expect to here when you tell your GP or something.

 

[Otter]

You literally said "I can attest to the fact that you have a great future behind you."

Despite knowing absolutely nothing about this person or their situation. Just that they are younger than you.

*****Uh, epsilon0 said that, not me

 

[TeenIdle]

Life can change for the better and the younger you are i think the more chance that this can happen. Younger people have a better chance of getting jobs especially trainee jobs, are more frequent users of dating apps to find partners, are generally physically fitter so can more easily take up new hobbies like keeping fit, females above a certain age can't start a family, a younger persons peers haven't usually married off & had kids so they have more friends available to socialise with.

I know life can change as my best years were 18 to 36, especially 29 to mid 30's. I'm not writing off all oldies, i'm in my 40's and retraining, but i know i'm gonna have a hard time finding a job at my age and with such gaps in employment and my chance at having a family is gone.

When you have a fucked up mind, it doesn't really matter how young you are, it's difficult to get better. I've been depressed since 13 with many disorders and now at 23 I studied, got a job and it's still the same. Some of us are born with a fucked up brain from the start and end up our lives like this...

 

[terry_a_davis]

Well, that is probably true for the pro-life normies who aren't using this site, but for us youngsters who are here, we're probably just as screwed as the people twice our age.


Okay, I was a little confused because you quoted Otter.

View attachment 29301

Are you mentally or physically ill?

When you have a fucked up mind, it doesn't really matter how young you are, it's difficult to get better. I've been depressed since 13 with many disorders and now at 23 I studied, got a job and it's still the same. Some of us are born with a fucked up brain from the start and end up our lives like this...

Yeh i understand those who are ill have it extra hard to make a change.