Discussion Your (least) favorite meaningless anti-choice platitude

[Morning Angel]

So what's your favorite anti-choice platitude? What is it about the platitude that is irrational or upsetting?

Mine is well known but still worn out in the suicide prevention community. "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

Oh really, now? ALL problems are temporary, are they? Try telling that to the cancer ward in the children's hospital, or the chronically homeless person who applied to every welfare program available, or the veteran who now has PTSD the rest of his life. I can't tell whether people who say this platitude genuinely believe it, are in denial about the reality of life, or are just saying it because they haven't a clue what else to say. Not all problems are temporary, some are really not fixable - at the very least, they could admit there's a low likelihood for change in many cases.

I find this platitude very disingenuous.

 

[mattwitt]

"Don't worry... It'll get better"

 

[Xingster]

Ahm.....

"It is so selfish...."

Or is this too basic? Lol

 

[RoloTomasi]

"Everybody has problems" said to a suicidal person to downgrade his struggle.

 

[Morning Angel]

"Don't worry... It'll get better"

I would accept "it might get better" over a guarantee like that.

 

[Morning Angel]

"Everybody has problems" said to a suicidal person to downgrade his struggle.

Oh yes, this one is so dismissive.

 

[tearsinrain]

They're all so ignorant, mindless and stupid they make me cringe. Ugh!

"Things will get better!", "Life is beautiful!", "But, xyz would miss you!", "Think positive!", "Suicide is never the answer!", "Only cowards kill themselves!", "You're strong you can get through this!"..........etc, etc, ad nauseum

None of these things were said to me because I don't talk about ctb. But I've heard them said to other people.

 

[Morning Angel]

Ahm.....

"It is so selfish...."

Or is this too basic? Lol

Nah, not basic, amiga. I've been thinking a lot about this statement and to be honest it is a selfish act because you are putting the pain of your life above others. But why is that a bad thing? They don't have to live our lives, we do.

 

[Morning Angel]

None of these things were said to me because I don't talk about ctb.

Smart woman.

 

[readyanddetermined17]

The problem with ignorance is that when you are ignorant you don't know you are. So the best thing you can do is to take into consideration the possibility that you may not understand something. But that's not what these people (just like most people) do - they don't even consider that your situation may be more complex than it a lot of times seem, but instead they simplify things "basing" what they think about you on their experience of being themselves as if everybody's mind were excatly the same. So they may have had some bad things happen in their life that made them "depressed" and hence they come up with "yeah, everybody has some ups and downs"and similar bs.
They have only basic empathy - enough to care about you, but not enough to understand you and know that they are hurting you instead of helping.

 

[Morning Angel]

Such an insightful comment about empathy and its limits, @readyanddetermined17 . I always say that empathy takes a bit of imagination if you've never been through a specific experience of someone else's. Its fair that you wouldn't know what it's like to be in pain or agony 24/7, but I always appreciate when someone tries.

 

[readyanddetermined17]

I used to consider the combination of well-developed emathy and intelligence as pillars of humanity that differentiate us from the rest of animals. Now from experiencing and observing people i think that those aren't human traits - they are something more.
So it is not like most people don't meet requirements of being human - no, they are precisely what human really is.

 

[Tiburcio]

Everything that encourages to live in general annoys me.

 

[Fixin’ToDie]

"Why would you want to take your own life?"

To which my reply would be: "Why not? I'm not taking anyone else's, am I?"

 

[Morning Angel]

"Why would you want to take your own life?"

To which my reply would be: "Why not? I'm not taking anyone else's, am I?"

I dunno. Some people compare committing suicide to being a terrorist - i.e. strapping on a device, destroying yourself, and other people in the process. It's a false comparison because others around you won't die, but that's another platitude and anti-suicide belief.

 

[skitliv]

Apart from the ones already mentioned I hate the "if you were serious you would have done it already" or "youre talking about it means a part of you still wants to live"

Ugh

 

[Morning Angel]

Apart from the ones already mentioned I hate the "if you were serious you would have done it already" or "youre talking about it means a part of you still wants to live"

Now these are really interesting, especially because the first one I've heard from suicidal people. From non-suicidal people, these statements sound to me like indirect ways to appease their anxiety about your choice. Or maybe even like a dare or provocation. Whatever the case is, yes - ugh.

 

[MortDeVivre]

"Suicide is not an option."

...

 

[Morning Angel]

"Suicide is not an option."

...

Ummm yeah I wonder what option they think Chester Bennington and Anthony Bourdain took then?

 

[skitliv]

I also hate motivational crap like "If its not ok its not the end" and all that stupid nonsense

 

[Sharethepain]

"Suicide only spreads your pain onto others". Well they gave us the pain in the beginning, might as well take it back.

 

[Anarchy]

"Suicide is not an option."

...

I especially hate that one - that one's a blatent lie; as long as something is possible, then it's an option, and they can't argue that it's not possible because so many people have done it.

 

[Lady Euthanasia]

So what's your favorite anti-choice platitude? What is it about the platitude that is irrational or upsetting?

Mine is well known but still worn out in the suicide prevention community. "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

Oh really, now? ALL problems are temporary, are they? Try telling that to the cancer ward in the children's hospital, or the chronically homeless person who applied to every welfare program available, or the veteran who now has PTSD the rest of his life. I can't tell whether people who say this platitude genuinely believe it, are in denial about the reality of life, or are just saying it because they haven't a clue what else to say. Not all problems are temporary, some are really not fixable - at the very least, they could admit there's a low likelihood for change in many cases.

I find this platitude very disingenuous.

"Commiting suicide is meant for cowards" - I've heard so much idiocy said towards people who are suffering and have decided to end their life but the sentence mentioned above is the one I despise most. (Although I have never had anything similar said towards me personally since I do not disclose this part of myself unless I'm sure the people who I talk to will understand the situation).

 

[lv-gras]

I especially hate that one - that one's a blatent lie; as long as something is possible, then it's an option, and they can't argue that it's not possible because so many people have done it.

that reminds me of the teacher i had when i was younger who said negative numbers and fractions didn't exist

 

[Sidestep]

"Commiting suicide is meant for cowards" - I've heard so much idiocy said towards people who are suffering and have decided to end their life but the sentence mentioned above is the one I despise most. (Although I have never had anything similar said towards me personally since I do not disclose this part of myself unless I'm sure the people who I talk to will understand the situation).

Same here. Hasn't been said to me but the whole notion that suicide is "the coward's way out" just makes me feel even worse about myself for feeling this way which in turn makes me feel even more suicidal. Go figure.

 

[Anarchy]

that Reminders me of the teacher i had when i was younger who said negative numbers and fractions didn't exist

Some people just don't want to accept the truth...

 

[Jane8334]

"Life is a gift". Worst gift ever then...

 

[anurgetowardlove]

Nah, not basic, amiga. I've been thinking a lot about this statement and to be honest it is a selfish act because you are putting the pain of your life above others. But why is that a bad thing? They don't have to live our lives, we do.

I've been thinking about this as well. There are people in my life that inconvenience me by being alive. So technically I could call them selfish for making my life worse and not just killing themselves. That's more or less the sort of logic they are using when they say it's selfish. Because it's not about your pain or suffering, it's all about theirs. Fuck you and your problems, is basically what they're saying.

It's fine though, because the next time someone says anything about my depression or suicidal tendencies, I'll tell them to "suck it up, buttercup" and see if that has any positive results for their mental condition.

 

[Jane8334]

Although this isn't really a platitude, I hate it when someone who is well aware that you want out, tells you about a friend of a friend who has recently been diagnosed with a terminal disease and really drives it home how unfair and awful it is, as if implying: what right do you have to be suicidal when you are physically healthy, when there are poor people who have been given months to live with no control over it?!
I realise that this is an terrible situation to be in, especially if you have a good life and actually enjoy living, but for me, having a terminal disease would be very welcome, I'm sure I'd absolutely hate the pain that comes with it but at least there'd be an end in sight.

 

[Comatose11]

I have a hard time thinking up of one.

I agree with you with the, "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

"Suicide is selfish" and "Suicide is the cowards way out."

"People have it worse/there are starving children in Africa/ some combination of that."

"It gets better."

"You'll go to hell."

"Suicide is wrong."