Hey...smile, can I come visit you? Stealthily creeps into the bedroom, jimmies the lock on a gaggle of pills, grabs some and runs. Hahahah...lol.
satou
not yet
- Sep 3, 2018
- 225
Some years ago. I had been having racing and intrusive thoughts for a week. I just wanted it to stop. I wasn't even really thinking about it in terms of suicide, I just wanted everything to be silent. Either for a moment or forever, it didn't matter at that point. Took a lot of a drug impulsively. To do something without careful deliberation is very out of character for me. I don't know what dosage is necessary for respiratory arrest, but I assume that whatever I took was probably nowhere near, but there is no way to know.
I have only fragments of memory afterwards. I remember not being able to walk and falling down and not feeling any pain. And also having delusions, I was probably psychotic, which would explain the memory loss. Apparently I called my family on my phone and I was barely audible. At some point my memory comes back and there were police officers in my room. It took about a week for me to feel somewhat normal again, I had a few panic attacks in the days after (which I normally do not have). Talks with my family were terribly awkward and embarrassing. Everybody just assumed I was seeking a thrill (despite my years of depression) and I didn't bother to correct them.
I have only fragments of memory afterwards. I remember not being able to walk and falling down and not feeling any pain. And also having delusions, I was probably psychotic, which would explain the memory loss. Apparently I called my family on my phone and I was barely audible. At some point my memory comes back and there were police officers in my room. It took about a week for me to feel somewhat normal again, I had a few panic attacks in the days after (which I normally do not have). Talks with my family were terribly awkward and embarrassing. Everybody just assumed I was seeking a thrill (despite my years of depression) and I didn't bother to correct them.
Aragon
ムーン・ヒーリング・エスカレーション
- Aug 27, 2018
- 45
On Friday the 31st I took a "mixture" of too many pills "by accident," around 1AM-2AM because I couldn't sleep. I thought nothing of taking past the prescribed dosage and was stuck awake all through the night barfing, trying to get them out of my system. I don't know, I ended up losing control of my body. My stomach was burning... (this has happened to me before) and unusual and numb in the "head" area, I also ended up with really bad back pain, I found it hard to lie down. It was Codeine, and I couldn't breath too... and panicked and ran to barf. By the time I felt normal, it was 6AM, but I was left with a sore stomach... Just thought I'd share another one of my personal experiences with... pills.
Codeine is a opioid you couldn't breath because it's a CNS depressant personally I wouldn't use codeine it's weak go with tramadol
How much Codeine did you take? did you take any short acting benzos with it?
Aragon
ムーン・ヒーリング・エスカレーション
- Aug 27, 2018
- 45
I have no idea what that is. I just shoved them down my throat with water and drank loads of fizzy Ginger Beer. I took 4 x 30mg Codeine tablets. 1 Codeine/Paracetamol, and 2 x Paracetamol 500g tablets and 5 x 20g Omeprazole.
I think it has to be prescribed. I have a ton of Codeine because I was prescribed it earlier this year. Does Tramadol burn too?
Can I be honest you didn't take enough plus paracetemol don't bother with that probably why you had a bad stomach
(I'm also sorry Tib) I've been having trouble blacking out since forever. To the point where I attempted a CO method and failed/suffered memory loss. If anyone can tell me the right way to position my knot please contact me.
hopeis5427
Member
- Aug 13, 2018
- 93
not really a suicide method but i used to a couple of years ago write letters wishing the devil or any other entity killed me or i died.....please dont laugh at me because at the time of that moment i wasn't sane and was having a mental breakdown due to alot of things
About 12-13 years ago today I was in a good mood all day no problems my bday the next day I was on the computer listening to Coldplay XnY and got the thought I'm doing myself in 10 min later I was popping what ever pills was in kitchen after 30 pills or so I was taking the boke so put rest I found in a bottle of beer and drunk the bottle a while after I was feeling tired n leg less so lay on the bed the feeling was as if my head and feet were on the bed but the rest of my body was sinking, I didn't really like the feeling and kept hearing noises so ended up stumbling into my mum she phoned a ambulance I went to hospital they pumped my stomach the next day was my birthday I was in hospital full body numb gutted I failed then my mum came up to visit she couldn't look at me or speak to me or unstand why few days later I got out for a few weeks after my mum didn't speak to me my body was still numb from the pills I took from that day so from then to last year I thought of suicide most days still living with the regret of failing and hurting my mums so couldn't bring myself to doing it again case I failed then last year I tryed it twice in a week 1st time with dfs it didn't work i was up for days clawing at my skin leaving me black and blue and hallucinating a week later I tryed it again with 5 boxes of paracetamol and a box of other painkillers I lay in my bed for 3 days falling in and out of sleep thinking I was drying with really sore stomach and shooting pains around my ribs after a day or two just lying there I lay 3 days in bed I had then had enough of waiting abymore and got out of bed and went back to daily duties. Now last 3 month I just wanted to cry for no reason and top my self as I've hated life since I can remember I say if it so green up there why the Fuck I'm I hear this place is hell but the thought of failing or been in pain scares me in my dreams I've hung myself shot my self and jumped off buildings drove into walls but in the real world my rope broke and left my neck sore wabted ti jump a few times but couldn't bring myself to do it after looking down . A gun and a pop to the head standing ontop of flats I would like to do but the guns been hard to come and I've always wanted to just go to sleep and not wake up so liking this nitrogen idea I'm thinking a scuba mask plus the hood for extra insurance quick painless death in your bed is heaven but it seems theres a lot of work and expenses involved going to do more research and hopefully be going to bed soon with mask and nitrogen tank . Sorry about bad grammar not been to school from I was 12
borntooslow
Member
- Jun 29, 2018
- 43
About 2-3 weeks ago, SN. I failed because couldn't get strong enough antiemetics. There was strange feeling several days after, like my brain started to work much slower, but then I back to normal condition.
Also tried to practice partial suspension hanging, not real attempt, just practicing. Realized I couldn't do it because of survival instinct. When blackout starts I just getting myself outta noose. Being drunk doesn't helps too.
Never thought that killing myself would be so hard to do.
Also tried to practice partial suspension hanging, not real attempt, just practicing. Realized I couldn't do it because of survival instinct. When blackout starts I just getting myself outta noose. Being drunk doesn't helps too.
Never thought that killing myself would be so hard to do.
borntooslow
Member
- Jun 29, 2018
- 43
Sure, here is the post where I described how it was when I made SN attempt: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/poll-previous-attempts.2969/#post-40655
It absolutely didn't hurt, but I took painkillers before just in case.
I got much less to say about partial suspension, but as I realized you need to find the right position. I practiced with it about couple of weeks almost every day before going to sleep, but get needed effect just about 1/5 times I've tried. If you're doing everything right there will be no pain at all, but in this cases my head was spinning very hard when I was getting out of noose. If you're doing wrong you will fell kinda pressure inside your head or won't feel anything.
Also, feel free too ask if you want to know something else.
Larez
Member
- Mar 22, 2018
- 25
17th of July 2014
Tried to slit my own throat at midnight in the local park. Bled a bit, but as soon as my wounds started aching and I was about to go overboard, I impulsively called my friend and asked him how he was doing. He talked me into giving him my location. He calmed me down and then I bandaged the damage. I was thinking about doing that for the whole week, so it wasn't really impulsive. The scar on my throat was healing for 6 months after that. Ye ¯\_㋡_/¯
November 2015
Almost drank myself to death. I wasn't a drinker back then, but one day I impulsively bought two bottles of vodka on my way back from the Uni. Thought that I might just as well not wake up or smth; the usual nonetheless. I drank everything in one sitting with spontaneous thoughts of doom. Woke up in the hospital after some injections and stomach rinsing. They wanted to keep me for longer but I silver-tongued my way out later that night. 2 psychiatrists came in to talk to me and I just pretended to be a moron who didn't know that drinking that much in one night as an unexperienced, seldom drinker could have ended up in my death.
Egh.
Tried to slit my own throat at midnight in the local park. Bled a bit, but as soon as my wounds started aching and I was about to go overboard, I impulsively called my friend and asked him how he was doing. He talked me into giving him my location. He calmed me down and then I bandaged the damage. I was thinking about doing that for the whole week, so it wasn't really impulsive. The scar on my throat was healing for 6 months after that. Ye ¯\_㋡_/¯
November 2015
Almost drank myself to death. I wasn't a drinker back then, but one day I impulsively bought two bottles of vodka on my way back from the Uni. Thought that I might just as well not wake up or smth; the usual nonetheless. I drank everything in one sitting with spontaneous thoughts of doom. Woke up in the hospital after some injections and stomach rinsing. They wanted to keep me for longer but I silver-tongued my way out later that night. 2 psychiatrists came in to talk to me and I just pretended to be a moron who didn't know that drinking that much in one night as an unexperienced, seldom drinker could have ended up in my death.
Egh.
You probably would've died that first time if you didn't have any friends.
throwaway123
Hell0
- Aug 5, 2018
- 1,446
Dead_Inside
Wizard
- Jul 2, 2018
- 622
Yeah... now that person doesn't talk to me anymore so ... guess next time will be good right?
Deadinside24
Experienced
- Aug 7, 2018
- 245
Oh lord where do I begin...
First I tried to overdose on alcohol and get alcohol poisoning. However, as an alcoholic, I have a VERY high tolerance to alcohol and just wouldn't die. I even tried higher proof alcohols and still couldn't do it.
Then I've tried OD on Excedrin, which I realized I didn't take enough of and then Tylenol (615mg) which almost worked but my liver made a strong recovery after almost needing a transplant. OTC OD is just as bad as everyone says. For the Tylenol, I couldn't eat or drink anything for 2 or 3 days without vomiting it right back up. Keep in mind, I knew my chances of ctb would be better the longer I waited so I probably made it 26 or 27 hours before getting the antidote. I was barely able to stay conscious but it also felt like I couldn't sleep. I could only nibble on ice and I felt so thirsty even though I had the IV in me. I actually did think I was going to die. Part of me is still pissed my liver fixed itself even with how miserable I was.
I tried the exit bag with alcohol and prescription sleeping aids but always ended up ripping the bag off my face.
I've also attempted CO but I don't think I put enough time into it to do it right.
So, now I've settled on Sodium Azide and I keep the solution with me at all times in case worst comes to worst and I have to face jail or incarceration in some way. If that fails, fml I guess I'll have to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge because that is the only thing remotely close to me that should do the trick.
First I tried to overdose on alcohol and get alcohol poisoning. However, as an alcoholic, I have a VERY high tolerance to alcohol and just wouldn't die. I even tried higher proof alcohols and still couldn't do it.
Then I've tried OD on Excedrin, which I realized I didn't take enough of and then Tylenol (615mg) which almost worked but my liver made a strong recovery after almost needing a transplant. OTC OD is just as bad as everyone says. For the Tylenol, I couldn't eat or drink anything for 2 or 3 days without vomiting it right back up. Keep in mind, I knew my chances of ctb would be better the longer I waited so I probably made it 26 or 27 hours before getting the antidote. I was barely able to stay conscious but it also felt like I couldn't sleep. I could only nibble on ice and I felt so thirsty even though I had the IV in me. I actually did think I was going to die. Part of me is still pissed my liver fixed itself even with how miserable I was.
I tried the exit bag with alcohol and prescription sleeping aids but always ended up ripping the bag off my face.
I've also attempted CO but I don't think I put enough time into it to do it right.
So, now I've settled on Sodium Azide and I keep the solution with me at all times in case worst comes to worst and I have to face jail or incarceration in some way. If that fails, fml I guess I'll have to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge because that is the only thing remotely close to me that should do the trick.
PatKat
Meh
- Aug 9, 2018
- 1,025
I failed because my roommate forgot her iPad and came back and found my unconscious and not breathing...
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