Venting "You have to try to get better"

[LevUwU]

Everyone says this. "You have to try if you want to get better."

Yet I never understand, why try if life has proven time and time again it's not worth trying for.

 

[Anonymous_Angel]

imean idk some people can... but some people cant i guess? i recommmend.that u try. rea;lly try! thats made my life more worth living.... but maybe thats the wrong attitude to have on this site idk. i ve never been on this website before

 

[LevUwU]

imean idk some people can... but some people cant i guess? i recommmend.that u try. rea;lly try! thats made my life more worth living.... but maybe thats the wrong attitude to have on this site idk. i ve never been on this website before

Well I'm glad you've found some worth in life. Unfortunately for me, life isn't worth trying for.

 

[Anonymous_Angel]

and,,,,,whys that?ithink everyones life is worth livin for something,,,,, but if i really believed that i probably wouldnt have signed up for this website lol!!! idk,,,,i rlly hope u get reasons to be alive!!! but if u want reasons to be alive u gotta look for em. sorry if this islike a bad thing to say im not sure what ppl here r acce[pting of

 

[Worndown]

The people saying that do not share your perspective. To them, this is good advice.

 

[another_user]

You do have to try go get better (to find connection and meaning in life that help you give it some value or to find ways to solve problems) but it also depends on what your situation is and what type of people are around you.

Where I am there are only a few people around me who trying around could help. Other people I could try as hard as I like and it would only make me feel worse as it wouldn't yield any positive results.

 

[AkaRed]

Yeah I fucking hate this because I don't even know what it means half the time.

And I have tried before, and I am trying now. Nothing goddamn works, and nothing goddamn lasts.

I don't know what to do either. ://

<3

 

[iloverachel]

I absolutely hate that phrase, or whenever people try to suggest we are not trying hard enough

How would they know we aren't trying hard enough.

 

[xinino]

I think it is subjective matter, they can advise you to find something worth living for but if you cannot find one then they can't force you to comply. You are free.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I honestly don't want the "better" that they're referring to as that's just suffering through wage slavery and old age

 

[Forever Sleep]

Exactly. I think you have to truly want to 'get better' in the first place. You have to at least somewhat believe that the goal is worth the effort. Otherwise, it is hard to muster up the amount of motivation to try that hard.

Plus, brutally honestly- it's not easy. Just speaking personally, if I really was intent on recovery, that would mean facing and doing things that frighten me and I find deeply unpleasant. So, social anxiety I realise has held me back in life. To overcome that would require exposure to social situations. Some of them will undoubtably result in me feeling worse than I do now! It's this whole idea that it's for the greater good type of thing.

I suspect a lot of 'recovery' requires discomfort. I imagine most of us are too exhausted and already feel too vulnerable for all that. Why would someone already struggling in life even be tempted to put themselves in a situation where they are likely to struggle even more?!!

That's what I find kind of sad and unrealistic about this idea of 'recovery'. It takes an enormous amount of strength and suicidal people are already pretty exhausted. Plus- as you say- it assumes that we still find value in life. And, even if we do, that our dreams are actually realistic.

Kind of funny that we're seen as the illogical ones, yet I'd say most suicidal people can articulate why they don't feel able to adequately solve their problems in life. Even if those problems are mental health problems- if there doesn't seem to be a cure. If they've tried shit loads of things, that's surely a problem they can logically deduce it's going to be hard to find a solution to.

 

[GreenOctober]

This is like those fake tutorials online that tell you it's easy to get (Insert difficult to obtain thing here) but won't tell you the process. (The process is made up)

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Exactly. I think you have to truly want to 'get better' in the first place. You have to at least somewhat believe that the goal is worth the effort. Otherwise, it is hard to muster up the amount of motivation to try that hard.

Plus, brutally honestly- it's not easy. Just speaking personally, if I really was intent on recovery, that would mean facing and doing things that frighten me and I find deeply unpleasant. So, social anxiety I realise has held me back in life. To overcome that would require exposure to social situations. Some of them will undoubtably result in me feeling worse than I do now! It's this whole idea that it's for the greater good type of thing.

I suspect a lot of 'recovery' requires discomfort. I imagine most of us are too exhausted and already feel too vulnerable for all that. Why would someone already struggling in life even be tempted to put themselves in a situation where they are likely to struggle even more?!!

That's what I find kind of sad and unrealistic about this idea of 'recovery'. It takes an enormous amount of strength and suicidal people are already pretty exhausted. Plus- as you say- it assumes that we still find value in life. And, even if we do, that our dreams are actually realistic.

Kind of funny that we're seen as the illogical ones, yet I'd say most suicidal people can articulate why they don't feel able to adequately solve their problems in life. Even if those problems are mental health problems- if there doesn't seem to be a cure. If they've tried shit loads of things, that's surely a problem they can logically deduce it's going to be hard to find a solution to.

This is slightly off topic (though it's kinda related slightly) but do you think that, in the majority of the cases, the people who recovered end up having a pro life mindset again? I've seen time and time again where people who claimed to have recovered have the same mindset towards suicidal people similarly to the mindset that pro lifers have. Of course there are exceptions but, for the most part, it genuinely feels like the finish line at recovery makes people have a pro life mindset rather than a pro choice mindset. What do you think?

 

[Forever Sleep]

This is slightly off topic (though it's kinda related slightly) but do you think that, in the majority of the cases, the people who recovered end up having a pro life mindset again? I've seen time and time again where people who claimed to have recovered have the same mindset towards suicidal people similarly to the mindset that pro lifers have. Of course there are exceptions but, for the most part, it genuinely feels like the finish line at recovery makes people have a pro life mindset rather than a pro choice mindset. What do you think?

That's really interesting. Honestly, I haven't communicated that much with people who have recovered. I remember someone saying that about non smokers once though. That it was people who had once smoked that then quit that were the most antagonistic.

I guess in a way, it makes sense. For someone who has 'recovered', they may feel as if they now see things clearly. They probably do identify that period in their life as them being rather lost or misguided. Maybe if they identified too closely with it again, they'd be in danger of relapsing. Just guessing there. But, I guess it would also give them some sort of sense of entitlement that they were an expert because they themselves lived through it. I'd like to think sometimes their intentions are good. Like- when you come across an amazing film or food or song and you want to share it.

It's an interesting idea though. You'd hope they'd have enough empathy to still be pro-choice for others but, maybe it does need that complete shift in thinking.

 

[damyon]

The people saying that do not share your perspective. To them, this is good advice.

Sounds like an opinion rather than advice.

If those people gave you the tools to get better (mentally), then that would be good advice. You still have the choice of whether you actually want to get better.

~~~
I never understood why people think it is okay to impose their desires onto others...

 

[sickgirlzis]

even though I hate people saying this to me, I agree to an extent. I think 99% of people could feel better if they tried, and often times you'll have to try out a bunch of different things and unpack and get rid of your negativity and pride, which can be hard. you have to approach everything neutrally and keep working at it, I think. but I don't think it helps if they don't know ways to help that are proven to be effective, and if they don't know your personal situation and issues. most people are just trying to prevent someone's death, but they have no idea how to.