Discussion you can’t blame your parents for your existance

[whywere]

Wait, your parent's preferred female children in the 1950s?

Here is the whole story on this. when my "parents" got married they had a child 10 months after marriage. The child was a male child and since it was male, my "dad" did NOT want any more. But my "mom" REALLY wanted a female child and after a few years of bugging him she got in family way again. That is when I was born, and I was a male and NOT a female child. My "dad" went ballistic, as now he had another mouth to feed, and I was NOT a girl. He had convinced my "mom" to put me up for adoption, however when it leaked out when my "mom" was still in the hospital; with me all the town gossip started up and they did NOT want to look like scum, so I went home.

About 4 years later, after more bugging, they had a 3rd child which was a girl. and one of my "mom's" favorite sayings to me growing up was: "remember that your dad has your older brother and I have your younger sister".

When my older brother and my younger sister turned 18, both got new cars. When I turned 18, the day after, my "parents" drove me to town, I was raised on a working dairy farm and dropped me off on a street curb with NO money, NO food, NO shelter, NO job nothing but a plastic bag with my clothes in it and drove away. I never heard from them again ever, 100% their choice.

Also, when they died, they left my younger sister a hobby farm and cash, my older brother got somewhere around 9 million (USD) and I got ZERO.

That is my story from birth till 18 in a nutshell, I have no problem sharing, as I am 69 and that was a long time ago.

Walter

 

[ididnotconsent]

Here is the whole story on this. when my "parents" got married they had a child 10 months after marriage. The child was a male child and since it was male, my "dad" did NOT want any more. But my "mom" REALLY wanted a female child and after a few years of bugging him she got in family way again. That is when I was born, and I was a male and NOT a female child. My "dad" went ballistic, as now he had another mouth to feed, and I was NOT a girl. He had convinced my "mom" to put me up for adoption, however when it leaked out when my "mom" was still in the hospital; with me all the town gossip started up and they did NOT want to look like scum, so I went home.

About 4 years later, after more bugging, they had a 3rd child which was a girl. and one of my "mom's" favorite sayings to me growing up was: "remember that your dad has your older brother and I have your younger sister".

When my older brother and my younger sister turned 18, both got new cars. When I turned 18, the day after, my "parents" drove me to town, I was raised on a working dairy farm and dropped me off on a street curb with NO money, NO food, NO shelter, NO job nothing but a plastic bag with my clothes in it and drove away. I never heard from them again ever, 100% their choice.

Also, when they died, they left my younger sister a hobby farm and cash, my older brother got somewhere around 9 million (USD) and I got ZERO.

That is my story from birth till 18 in a nutshell, I have no problem sharing, as I am 69 and that was a long time ago.

Walter

That sounds completely insane. If that's true then your parents might be actual sociopaths.

Sorry that happened to you.

 

[whywere]

That sounds completely insane. If that's true then your parents might be actual sociopaths.

Sorry that happened to you.

I always thought that both of my "parents" had massive issues, however since I was never around them after my 18th birthday, I never knew for sure, just always guessed.

I just look at it, as it helped me so much to have empathy and kindness towards others this past 51 years, so in a small way it was a blessing.

The only thing that I ever wanted was my grandfather's birthstone ring on my "dads" side but never got that and never will.

Thank you so much for the very kind response.

You are a lovely person.

Walter

 

[SilentSadness]

I do blame my parents because they never regretted their actions, and it was totally unnecessary and cruel to give birth. Parents are unfortunately not punished for anything they do at all because children are treated like possessions. It was their choice, and they chose the cruelest action without remorse.

 

[XKZyn]

I believe it's unreasonable to blame one's parents for existing although I can understand the thought process behind it. I won't blame my parents for having me or my siblings but what I CAN blame them for is having children they weren't ready to take care of. I'm talking about not having the financials for caring for a child or in my dad's case, an unwillingness to want to take care of the life you brought into the world. No parent is perfect, they try but some can't be bothered to do even that. Some try but can't get it right for whatever reasons.

 

[huifu]

Oh I do, and I'll probably keep doing it, they're the ones that put me in so much misery in my childhood that I have trouble remembering almost all of it, they didn't create my actual problems I guess, but they did create me without love and brought me to this loveless space. The funny thing is, I still love them.
Not that it matters, they're both dead now.

 

[whywere]

Oh I do, and I'll probably keep doing it, they're the ones that put me in so much misery in my childhood that I have trouble remembering almost all of it, they didn't create my actual problems I guess, but they did create me without love and brought me to this loveless space. The funny thing is, I still love them.
Not that it matters, they're both dead now.

Reading this made me both cry and smile. Cry, as I know the feeling all too well. Smile, as you show such love, caring, kindness, not only to your deceased parents but to others.

When one has had a rough go of it BUT still has a heart full of love and warmth, THAT REALLY shows just the depth of how kind and loving you are.

You are much better than me, as my "parents" kicked me out the day after I turned 18, NEVER EVER loved or wanted me and they are both gone, however, it is so hard for me to be able to "find" any love for them at all. You are eons better than me and I am so happy to have you not only as a good friend but a family member on here, thank you so much for that.

Huge hugs, heartfelt love and kindness to you!

Walter

 

[WeepingWorm]

Nature is the ultimate cosmic force, the totality of all that exists and the source of all life, order, and consciousness. It is not necessarily conscious, but it governs existence through unbreakable laws and cycles. Everything is born from it, sustained by it, and ultimately returns to it.

You seem to be confused. If nature is the ultimate metaphysical principle, how come we can predicate of things that are meta-natural: rights, duties, the greater good, progress, any ethical principles, universal things like mathematics and logic? Ethics itself is a supernatural principle, and it's concerned with the motivation to do anything at all. Nature cannot give you ethics (naturalistic fallacy/Hume's law). If you say nature is "not necessarily conscious", how can you at the same time claim it can give consciousness and "decides" something? If it "governs existence through unbreakable laws and cycles", then those rigid invariant laws must have been defined by something with a consciousness and towards some goal, because chaos does not logically give order.

There are people who believe that everything is predetermined, but we can't know, and I don't care.

Funny, but if one believes in determinism, then he literally cannot know. The mind, person, knowledge all don't exist, and the thinker (who paradoxically doesn't exist or think) can't even predicate of anything in the first place. It's a self-refuting paradigm. Therefore it's obvious that "everything is predetermined" is not the case. One doesn't need omniscience to make that statement.
Also, you refute yourself in your post regardless of all this. You say that nature is everything (the totality that exists), therefore parents are also part of nature, yet you exclude them from this. Making some kind of supernatural justification along the lines of "I'd be born through different parents" which is indicative of believing in a soul or some kind of cosmic/spiritual existence. From a purely biological natural perspective, your parents are animals that birthed you, so yes, you can "blame" them if you wanted to. Except animals (other than humans) don't have rationality, so they wouldn't be thinking about all this in the first place.

 

[ClownWorld2023]

When my older brother and my younger sister turned 18, both got new cars. When I turned 18, the day after, my "parents" drove me to town, I was raised on a working dairy farm and dropped me off on a street curb with NO money, NO food, NO shelter, NO job nothing but a plastic bag with my clothes in it and drove away. I never heard from them again ever, 100% their choice.

Also, when they died, they left my younger sister a hobby farm and cash, my older brother got somewhere around 9 million (USD) and I got ZERO.

You ever had contact with your siblings after that?

 

[ginko0]

Your existence was predetermined by nature. It was nature that decided you would exist. I used to blame my parents, but I now realize I would have come into this life with or without them, perhaps through different parents.

I don't think nature can make decisions in the same way a free agent can. That the universe is conscious is something yet to be proven. Homo sapiens, however, have developed brains, and with those brains they are able to question, choose, refuse, analyze, etc.

Parents can be blamed, at least to a certain extent. The only excuses I can find for parents having kids when they can't provide them a good life is that they didn't have access to education, and were merely acting on their natural insticts. But then it would be more of a social problem.

And no, you wouldn´t/couldn't have been born without them!

 

[whywere]

You ever had contact with your siblings after that?

Have not spoken to either since 1990, they do NOT any contact from me at all.

It is what it is, and I just move on.

It is like the old saying: "How many rocks do you want to carry in your forever on you backpack?" ME, as little as possible.

We are family here and I have no problem answering a question of this nature ever.

Have a wonderful rest of this week my good friend.

Walter

 

[Obliviate]

I absolutely disagree my dumb fuck ass parents were poor, had no business companies, no money, no stability, shit job, didn't know shit about the fuck ass evil world, lack of common sense, were in a shit ass 3rd world country and thought "Hey I know, let's have children" to abuse and use!!!! Get fucked. I wanna haunt them and others who have wronged me. It would have been better if they threw me in a garbage can after being born atleast I would've died. What can you expect from NPC players. The reason why poor people have kids is because it's the only "accomplishment" they can ever have. Selfish ass. I wish I was aborted.

 

[CatLvr]

Here is the whole story on this. when my "parents" got married they had a child 10 months after marriage. The child was a male child and since it was male, my "dad" did NOT want any more. But my "mom" REALLY wanted a female child and after a few years of bugging him she got in family way again. That is when I was born, and I was a male and NOT a female child. My "dad" went ballistic, as now he had another mouth to feed, and I was NOT a girl. He had convinced my "mom" to put me up for adoption, however when it leaked out when my "mom" was still in the hospital; with me all the town gossip started up and they did NOT want to look like scum, so I went home.

About 4 years later, after more bugging, they had a 3rd child which was a girl. and one of my "mom's" favorite sayings to me growing up was: "remember that your dad has your older brother and I have your younger sister".

When my older brother and my younger sister turned 18, both got new cars. When I turned 18, the day after, my "parents" drove me to town, I was raised on a working dairy farm and dropped me off on a street curb with NO money, NO food, NO shelter, NO job nothing but a plastic bag with my clothes in it and drove away. I never heard from them again ever, 100% their choice.

Also, when they died, they left my younger sister a hobby farm and cash, my older brother got somewhere around 9 million (USD) and I got ZERO.

That is my story from birth till 18 in a nutshell, I have no problem sharing, as I am 69 and that was a long time ago.

Walter

Dammit Walter. I know you know this already but everytime you tell your story I get SO ANGRY! NO child should have to endure what you did. It is dispicable.

 

[whenwillthepainstop]

Your existence was predetermined by nature. It was nature that decided you would exist. I used to blame my parents, but I now realize I would have come into this life with or without them, perhaps through different parents.

You have a good point. I try not to blame anyone much because the reason life is so shitty is a million reasons, not simply because we were born. Things could've been different. I could blame a million people and a million things but it won't fix any of it so I can't be bothered.