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GreyMonkey

GreyMonkey

Heartbroken
Aug 20, 2019
277
It's ok that you feel like a useless piece of shit. It's ok that you believe that you are worthless. That you don't deserve to be loved and that everyone will give up on you when you push them away.

It's ok that you believe you have done nothing meaningful in your life, that all you have been capable of is failures.

It's ok that you don't want to do anything, that you don't want to try to change, that you believe you can't change.

I won't force you to change anymore. I won't ask that you be different. I won't push you away.

It's ok if you want to smash your life to pieces in the belief that you aren't capable of anything more. You don't have to be great. You don't have to be anything. You can just be as you are in all of your glorious dysfunction.

You don't have to get married. You don't have to have a good job. You don't have to talk to that attractive woman. You don't have to have scores of friends. You don't have to be social. You don't have to believe that life has any grand meaning or purpose.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

I accept you. As you are. I won't try to fix you or get rid of you anymore.

And if you want to be miserable, you can be. If you want to watch tv all day, if you want to smoke so many cigarettes your lungs hurt, if you don't want to shower, if you don't want to eat. You can.

You don't have to exercise. You don't have to have a good body. You don't have to be attractive. You don't have to achieve anything in this life.

I will not reject you anymore.

Yes I hear the quiet voice under you that is crying to express, to be a better person yet I will not abandon you for him. I will not favour him over you.

Because I realise that when I push you away, you cry and you hurt and you scream and you break things. You want attention. You want to be loved even though you believe you are unloveable. You are crying out to be held even though you think you are broken and you believe that no-one will actually be there to hold you or love you or want you.

And I won't try to make you feel better. I won't tell you that you are loveable or wanted.

Yet I will hold you. I will be there for you.

I will not abandon you any longer.
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
It's ok that you feel like a useless piece of shit. It's ok that you believe that you are worthless. That you don't deserve to be loved and that everyone will give up on you when you push them away.

It's ok that you believe you have done nothing meaningful in your life, that all you have been capable of is failures.

It's ok that you don't want to do anything, that you don't want to try to change, that you believe you can't change.

I won't force you to change anymore. I won't ask that you be different. I won't push you away.

It's ok if you want to smash your life to pieces in the belief that you aren't capable of anything more. You don't have to be great. You don't have to be anything. You can just be as you are in all of your glorious dysfunction.

You don't have to get married. You don't have to have a good job. You don't have to talk to that attractive woman. You don't have to have scores of friends. You don't have to be social. You don't have to believe that life has any grand meaning or purpose.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

I accept you. As you are. I won't try to fix you or get rid of you anymore.

And if you want to be miserable, you can be. If you want to watch tv all day, if you want to smoke so many cigarettes your lungs hurt, if you don't want to shower, if you don't want to eat. You can.

You don't have to exercise. You don't have to have a good body. You don't have to be attractive. You don't have to achieve anything in this life.

I will not reject you anymore.

Yes I hear the quiet voice under you that is crying to express, to be a better person yet I will not abandon you for him. I will not favour him over you.

Because I realise that when I push you away, you cry and you hurt and you scream and you break things. You want attention. You want to be loved even though you believe you are unloveable. You are crying out to be held even though you think you are broken and you believe that no-one will actually be there to hold you or love you or want you.

And I won't try to make you feel better. I won't tell you that you are loveable or wanted.

Yet I will hold you. I will be there for you.

I will not abandon you any longer.
Grey Monkey, are you accepting marriage proposals at this time?
 
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GreyMonkey

GreyMonkey

Heartbroken
Aug 20, 2019
277
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woxihuanni

woxihuanni

Illuminated
Aug 19, 2019
3,299
I just want to take this and read it to this particular somebody! Maybe it would at last hit home.
 
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Misanthrope

Misanthrope

Mage
Oct 23, 2018
557
That was beautifully written.
 
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HGL91

HGL91

Warlock
Jul 2, 2019
720
Whoa! @azucaramargo is gone?! They just posted on here yesterday.
 
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O

oopswronglife

Elementalist
Jun 27, 2019
870
Whoa! @azucaramargo is gone?! They just posted on here yesterday.

Yeah that is upsetting. She seemed really kind...and don't recall any mention of sudden departure forthcoming...but I could have missed it.
 
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HGL91

HGL91

Warlock
Jul 2, 2019
720
Yeah that is upsetting. She seemed really kind...and don't recall any mention of sudden departure forthcoming...but I could have missed it.

I was look forward to the wedding of her and @GreyMonkey
 
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Wayfaerer

Wayfaerer

JFMSUF
Aug 21, 2019
1,938
I would change if I could, but I can't so there I am.
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
Whoa! @azucaramargo is gone?! They just posted on here yesterday.
That was so sweet, HGL91! I banned myself for a spell. I is back in black, though. Thank you so much for expressing concern.
Yeah that is upsetting. She seemed really kind...and don't recall any mention of sudden departure forthcoming...but I could have missed it.
Awwww, Oops!!!! That's so kind of you!!!! You've got the heart of an elephant.
 
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