Yet another stupid trend that I don't understand

[BabyYoda]

There's this "trend" on Tiktok that makes fun of men who are being nice to women (usually done so that the woman dates the man). I...can't comprehend why this is even a thing. There was this random post on FB that said "girls are beautiful in their own way" and then people were commenting "simp". But what the hell is wrong with giving a simple compliment? Why is being a respectful person to others suddenly stigmatized?

Respecting women is NOT weak, stupid, or something to be made fun of. Seriously. Not every man who is nice to a woman wants to date her, it's just good manners. Ugh, I wouldn't mind trying to bring back the past generation's classic gentleman ethics into this sick modern world where being vulnerable=weak. It's one of the few things I wouldn't say "ok boomer" to. I've seen users here who are being nice to girls and yet their niceness "scares them away" which explains why they are unable to get into a relationship. The pain that people are going through is MORE THAN ENOUGH and I'm sick of others taking their situation lightly. It only fuels the belief that men are only worthy if they treat a woman like shit.

I mean, you can't generalize all men by saying that if a man treats a woman right, he wants to date her. Heck my mom told me once that when a guy has basic gentleman ethics he was been raised right. I can't think of any argument against that. Last year I used to commute with my special person and he allowed me to get into the vehicle first. Nothing wrong with it. A man can support women's rights, just like how straight people support LGBTQ rights. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with a man helping a woman in any way, it's not considered sexism. Berating men who help women IS sexism. Generalizing that all nice guys are pathetic is fucking sexism.

I would be more that glad if simp just meant squirrels in my pants.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

It's the old chivalry is dead thing. There's many psychological points that tie to this but I won't go too deeply into it. This subject can easily spiral out of control. Much like trying to discuss religion or politics, people are very opinionated on it.

 

[waived]

Because people are unaware of how compliments when worded a particular way reveal either their true intentions as some cheese-ball concerned with getting laid, or reveals their ignorance that regardless of their intentions they have presented something in a way that is ordinarily a sign of the prior. People receive things horribly too but a step further- This thread was created in an innocuous manner talking about an ethos of respect, but there are other threads presented in the same way that reek of conspiracies about a war against men and other nonsensical mra positions that exist to maintain the current power structure of the patriarchy.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Because people are unaware of how compliments when worded a particular way reveal either their true intentions as some cheese-ball concerned with getting laid, or reveals their ignorance that regardless of their intentions they have presented something in a way that is ordinarily a sign of the prior. People receive things horribly too but a step further- This thread was created in an innocuous manner talking about an ethos of respect, but there are other threads presented in the same way that reek of conspiracies about a war against men and other nonsensical mra positions that exist to maintain the current power structure of the patriarchy.

I don't want to turn this into such a thread, but have you ever thought about how the left is all for empowering disenfranchised people, are all for egalitarianism; but on the sexual market they want a hardcore free market and give zero fucks about those at the bottom, who, under the current system, have almost no leverage anymore and will spend their lives without ever being touched or caressed by a woman, never get to feel loved, never get the chance to have a family? What about those people at the bottom? Shouldn't we, just as we help the poor by redistribution of money, redistribute sex to those at the bottom of the sexual attraction hierarchy?

 

[waived]

I don't want to turn this into such a thread,

It's okay I'll be quick.

but have you ever thought about how the left is all for empowering disenfranchised people, are all for egalitarianism; but on the sexual market they want a hardcore free market and give zero fucks about those at the bottom,

It would depend if by Left you meant the left that is a part of the existing political apparatus i.e. liberals, progressives, those who want reform, or if by left you meant those who are for the destruction of the existing political apparatus. The later doesn't want a free market it seeks to destroy capital and capitalist social relations. Men, categorically, are not at the bottom in comparison to women. That is an idiotic thing to suggest.

who, under the current system, have almost no leverage anymore and will spend their lives without ever being touched or caressed by a woman, never get to feel loved, never get the chance to have a family? What about those people at the bottom? Shouldn't we, just as we help the poor by redistribution of money, redistribute sex to those at the bottom of the sexual attraction hierarchy?

The sexual attraction hierarchy that you're trying to weaponize against women is actually created and maintained as the patriarchy. Food for thought.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with a man helping a woman in any way, it's not considered sexism.

A few years ago, a female friend and I met up at a bar in a major US city with a group of her friends I didn't know, a mixture of males and females. My friend and I were smoking outside and were approached by two guys who were intoxicated. They were increasingly verbally aggressive and harassed us. We walked away and stood with our group, who had just come outside. The guys continued to harass us. No one in the group said anything. I finally went inside to enlist the help of a bouncer, who did nothing. At last, one guy in the group put the dudes in their place, told them to back off and go away, and so they did. I've noticed in life that sometimes men will ignore what a woman says, but listen to another man, and this was one of those situations. The stunner for me was after the harassers went back inside the bar. One of the guys in our group, a hipster in his late 20s/early 30s said that he didn't say anything to defend my friend and I because feminists are offended when men protect them, so he doesn't interfere.

I relate this to the old chivalry alluded to in the OP, such as men opening doors for women and allowing them to go first. What I wish is that people would be considerate of others regardless of gender, to open doors for one another, female to male, male to female, etc., to stand up for someone in need of it, and to offer to lighten one another's loads regardless of size or gender.

When I lived in Guatemala among a primarily indigenous population with high tourism, the local cultural values were totally different from the Western. Nobody held doors open for anyone. A woman with a baby and a heavy load? Tough shit. Let her open her own damn door, and if she wanted to be further ahead in the line inside, then she should have gotten there earlier. In one location, a major form of public transportation was boats. When it came time to board, the locals would grab the seats in the front and everyone else, locals and foreigners alike, would have to wade through them to the back. Very seldom did someone so much as move a leg or a butt cheek to make it easier to pass unless someone was forced to ask them to. Once a woman got on with a huge pallet of eggs and other large supplies. I was sitting in the front and I moved back a couple rows so that she could have easy access to a place for herself and all she was carrying. Another expat said to me, "You're so accommodating!" But no, I was just being decent to another human with a heavier load than mine, and it took almost no effort to move a couple feet. I made a joke when I lived in that country, a list of things you would never hear a Guatemalan say, including, "No I insist, you go first."

So to come back to the OP's comment that I quoted, I agree that it's not sexism for a man to help a woman. I wish people everywhere would at least offer to help one another, with a balance of capabilities in proportion to needs and burdens, regardless of gender.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

"is actually created and maintained by the patriarchy"

;-)

The patriarchy/ traditional gender roles are what enabled physically unattractive men to get a hold of a wife in the past. The distribution of sex or love or marriage was actually more egalitarian fifty or a hundred years ago. That's what I meant by a free market, a free sexual market.

If you are really trying to suggest that the patriarchy is to blame for women finding good looking and influential/ successful men attractive then I can't help you. What, are women going to throw themselves onto unemployed, socially unsuccessful losers in the future? on ugly and short guys?

Men, categorically, are not at the bottom in comparison to women.

It is about an inequality between those at the bottom and those at the top of the sexual attraction hierarchy. Feminism took the advantages these men at the bottom used to have (their artificially created value as providers) and made them pretty much worthless to women. Women's worth however has not declined, because a big part of their value (biologically speaking) for men is reproductive capability.

 

[waived]

"is actually created and maintained by the patriarchy"

;-)

The patriarchy/ traditional gender roles are what enabled physically unattractive men to get a hold of a wife in the past.

It is what forced women into a system of social relations, and enforced what it meant to be a man, both being convenient to capitalism. Males are socialized under patriarchy to enforce patriarchy and this includes enforcing male standards of other males.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

@GoodPersonEffed

That made you go hmmmmpf?! That men must go all their lives without ever getting to feel love or affection? Where is your compassion?

It is what forced women into a system of social relations, and enforced what it meant to be a man, both being convenient to capitalism. Males are socialized under patriarchy to enforce patriarchy and this includes enforcing male standards of other males.

Yeah I think you will still rather have sex with George Clooney than me, even in a socialist Utopia.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Shouldn't we, just as we help the poor by redistribution of money, redistribute sex to those at the bottom of the sexual attraction hierarchy?

HOORAY FOR WOMEN BEING CHATTEL!!!!!

Thank you. I had gotten way too uppity and didn't know how to bring myself back down. I see now how to do it. I need to literally be underneath a man whose sexual and emotional needs have more value than my right to decide what to do with my own body. Whew! Thank you for clearing that up for me!

 

[a.n.kirillov]

HOORAY FOR WOMEN BEING CHATTEL!!!!!

Thank you. I had gotten way too uppity and didn't know how to bring myself back down. I see now how to do it. I need to literally be underneath a man whose sexual and emotional needs have more value than my right to decide what to do with my own body. Whew! Thank you for clearing that up for me!

Oh come on, I was being playful and provocative. You have not refuted my observation, and the fact that, as a result of feminism, a large underclass of sexually frustrated men were created—to whom, by the way, in the past you would have been attracted. You aren't attracted to them anymore because you can earn your own money and can go to college.

And I never suggested we should go back to the 1930s. I want you to be able to earn money and get educated and do all the things you want to do that women in the past couldn't.

 

[Mr2005]

Another one of these threads. The battle between the sexes. I wish they could kiss and make up. I'm one of those toxic males in some peoples eyes and that's because I'm a sexual being who desires women and if that's wrong then society has a problem. The ones you're talking about sound angry they aren't getting any which doesn't really correlate with being an arsehole gets them some. I'm just honest, the hate is from them to me not the other way around. There was a theory going round that one member who got more outraged than anyone else was actually a man pretending to be a women. Being sensitive to their feelings being another way to get the same result. Maybe the cynicism of the chivalry is justified if it's anything like that or as I said it could just be their problem

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Being an asshole isn't what makes you attractive. Usually men who get away with behaving like assholes have social status or looks or money, the former being a display of that, like chimpanzees puffing up or beating on their chest and chasing away the other males to demonstrate their manliness to the females. That's where the correlation comes from. A weak male behaving like that would get beaten down pretty quick.

We are animals ffs

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Oh come on, I was being playful and provocative.

So...you were being provocative...and I'm to blame for addressing it? My deepest apologies. I am so, so wrong. Again, thank you for guiding me down from my offensive uppityness. I am such a stupid woman, with an utterly inexcusable sense of entitlement, and lack of ability to reason clearly, or know for myself what I desire unless someone tells me, and I needed you to help me overcome that. There's not much hope for me though. I'm really dumb. It's a woman thing. I empathize with how frustrating that must be for you. I'm gonna go flog myself now, catch you later.

 

[Epsilon0]

Please, someone hand me a pair of glasses! I think there's something wrong with my eyes!

I'm having a hard time accepting there is a mind who conjured up this thought, and a hand who wrote it down. So it must be that my eyes are deceiving me. Because surely noone can suggest that women be "distributed" to men.

"Shouldn't we, just as we help the poor by redistribution of money, redistribute sex to those at the bottom of the sexual attraction hierarchy?"

quote by @a.n.kirillov

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Please, someone hand me a pair of glasses! I think there's something wrong with my eyes!

I'm having a hard time accepting there is a mind who conjured up this thought, and a hand who wrote it down. So it must be that my eyes are deceiving me. Because surely noone can suggest that women be "distributed" to men.

"Shouldn't we, just as we help the poor by redistribution of money, redistribute sex to those at the bottom of the sexual attraction hierarchy?"

quote by @a.n.kirillov

Does it offend you? It was a question to the posters above me! I didn't answer it myselfy did I?

Of course we cannot redistribute sex or love. Love can only arise where there's attraction, and I am arguing that physically* unattractive males, through feminism, have lost a big chunk of power to attract and now have to live as the sexual underclass.
.
Btw, we would also redistribute sex to the female sexual underclass. How can all of you call this massive inequality fair? I can't. I want the ugly (1/10) girl who works at the gas station in my town to have an affectionate relationship, sex and a family as well, because I think everyone deserves love.