Timetodie90
Spiritual but suicidal.
- Mar 8, 2020
- 103
I hate waking up. I get a panic attack about facing the day. Even if I have nothing on. It's awful.
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Being asleep is like half dead so I like to sleep as long as I can ... But in mornings when I get up reality hits hard and the entire depression sets in ... Suicidal thoughts galore ... But my freaking SI is so bad I m shit scared to ctb. This makes my days even more worse.. I feel so useless I can't even ctb
DoodleBug
Just a guy passing by
- Dec 9, 2019
- 134
There's nothing better than absolutely dreading the day that is to come...every day. The very fact of living is too much, but there's nothing worse than having to redo constantly being snapped right back to existence after the escape of the night.
When I wake up I think "Oh no, I'm still alive." Then for the rest of the day, I wait for the hours to be over so I can escape in my sleep.
When I wake up I actually feel extremely terrified of existing and fearful in general especially to ctb. But by about 10pm when people tend to all be indoors (I hate summer, love winter dark)
