wtf do you do when there's nowhere to go

[nails]

i have no one to go to no one evr cared no one ever will. it's too much and i cnat keep doing this im so tired of nightly panic atatcks over my pathebtic lonely life i cant breathe and rhe shaking is makign so exhausting. i trieid whatevevr techniques and they dint help i reached out to otber people and they just sya sorry and change tbe subject i talk in tbe gc and they start tlaking about otbebr stuff i dont have drugsvs lr alcohol and self harm isnt helpung. i dont bave any friendns they all left me at my worst and theg dont care about anyone except tbemsleves they dont care if i die they nevevr cared they know how bard it is for me without them and they left anyways and didnt even let me say how i feel and then strangers aay i can reach out bht they only say it to make themsleves feel better becuause they dont care when i come to them.
thsi hapenes every night and tehrhes never any solution i jsut panic hntil i pass out and its so painful im so fucjing tired. i have absolutely nothing in my life and nothing to go to i jsut need to die i cant handle this

 

[Kanau_Nano]

I know how you feel. I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. You sound extremely overwhelmed. I'm sad the only hug I can give is this one

 

[whywere]

1st off you ARE family here to me and I NEED you here, as with no family nor friends and include 24/7 chronic pain, you ARE very important to me.

I have been on my own since March 1974, and after all this time, it is folks like you who make the sky shine with a lovely warming sun.

We are ALL together and you are NEVER EVER alone, as I care deeply about you and want the very best for you.

I may be 70, albeit older, but we ARE good friends and family here, I have zero family nor friends and you are important beyond words.

Also, not to be negative, BUT folks, like your "friends" who take leave and do not help, they WILL get Karma. At my age I have seen it too many times, where someone is a jerk and BANG down the road of life it comes back triple fold and they are always confused as to why it was them.

I have a few times told folks who have said that around me to look in the mirror of life and it will be as plain as day, they were thoughtless, mean etc. and it came back to haunt them.

You are a lovely caring, loving and beautiful spirit.

Hugs my good friend!

Walter

 

[Forever Sleep]

While it was horrible to acknowledge it at the time- it helped me longer- term to realise that there isn't always somewhere to go. That people aren't always reliable and, certainly not long- term. They are trying to navigate their own lives too. Plus- what can they actually do to help? Maybe they can listen and give advice but ultimately- it's down to us to work on our problems.

Once I acknowledged that, I started to try to figure out what was troubling me by myself. At that time- it was mostly limerence, social anxiety and despising my job. Some of those things I worked on and overcame/ improved the situation. Others- not so much.

In a way though- I wonder if depending on this one person in some ways trapped me for a time. Not to blame them- it was good of them to listen to it all over and over again. But, knowing I could just offload onto them maybe made me less willing to figure out what was actually wrong.

Of course, it's not like I cured myself! I'm still suicidal- obviously. But, I don't feel that desperate need for other people now- thankfully. I don't actually get lonely now.

 

[Jamesbond]

I can relate to this so much, I turn to drink and drugs when there's nothing else out there, are you in the uk?

 

[tomame]

i'm moving out of the country next month to a country i've never been with someone i hardly know.

can't be any worse or stupid then my life is now

i can't wait

 

[nails]

I can relate to this so much, I turn to drink and drugs when there's nothing else out there, are you in the uk?

nah, i'm in the us. can't smoke, drink, buy a gun, or do anything unless you're 21, so i don't have any options there.

i'm moving out of the country next month to a country i've never been with someone i hardly know.

can't be any worse or stupid then my life is now

i can't wait

good luck and stay safe

 

[Jamesbond]

You're so young man! You got no health care available to you?

 

[accountnamerequired]

When I've had nowhere to go I go to a homeless shelter, 8 months total at 2 seperate ones now

 

[Fog is a wall]

nah, i'm in the us. can't smoke, drink, buy a gun, or do anything unless you're 21, so i don't have any options there.

good luck and stay safe

If you joined at Feb 13, 2023 being at least 18, you would be 21 by now... Something tells me you either joined into this forum too young or you are still too young for this forum. Which is it?

Circling back to the point though, there's really no one to talk to about these things. I found a person online who struggles with some intense issues and it's very nice to talk about lighter things while acknowledging the pain we both bear. Because much of the pain if from how others make you feel like you cannot even open up that part of yourself. I cannot suggest you to seek company in vain or dismiss the possibility of having company outright too. It's a dire situation, I tell you.

 

[nails]

You're so young man! You got no health care available to you?

none of it helps and some doctors have put me in an even worse spot. my situation is beyond fixing now, lol. it really sucks...

If you joined at Feb 13, 2023 being at least 18, you would be 21 by now... Something tells me you either joined into this forum too young or you are still too young for this forum. Which is it?

i just turned 20, don't worry

Circling back to the point though, there's really no one to talk to about these things. I found a person online who struggles with some intense issues and it's very nice to talk about lighter things while acknowledging the pain we both bear. Because much of the pain if from how others make you feel like you cannot even open up that part of yourself. I cannot suggest you to seek company in vain or dismiss the possibility of having company outright too. It's a dire situation, I tell you.

it's really hard not to dismiss the possibility of company when everything just ends so terribly all of the time. i still remain open to it, i seek it out consistently and try to make it happen, but i've become very pessimistic about it because everything keeps going wrong. not to mention, i think i've become too messed up for these things. i just can't connect with anyone anymore because i'm incapable of thinking/talking about anything other than my problems. losing everyone in such a short amount of time at the lowest point of my life really messed me up. i just can't enjoy anything now, i have nothing else to talk about because i can't even bring myself to be interested in anything else. of course, no connection can (healthily) remain intact if the whole basis of the relationship is just one person yapping about their misery. essentially, i'm just kinda cooked and anhedonia is kicking my ass. everything's just so grim and bleak.
sorry, i kinda went on a tangent there. thank you for responding

 

[RadiantNumber]

i have no one to go to no one evr cared no one ever will. it's too much and i cnat keep doing this im so tired of nightly panic atatcks over my pathebtic lonely life i cant breathe and rhe shaking is makign so exhausting. i trieid whatevevr techniques and they dint help i reached out to otber people and they just sya sorry and change tbe subject i talk in tbe gc and they start tlaking about otbebr stuff i dont have drugsvs lr alcohol and self harm isnt helpung. i dont bave any friendns they all left me at my worst and theg dont care about anyone except tbemsleves they dont care if i die they nevevr cared they know how bard it is for me without them and they left anyways and didnt even let me say how i feel and then strangers aay i can reach out bht they only say it to make themsleves feel better becuause they dont care when i come to them.
thsi hapenes every night and tehrhes never any solution i jsut panic hntil i pass out and its so painful im so fucjing tired. i have absolutely nothing in my life and nothing to go to i jsut need to die i cant handle this

If you need to feel free to dm me