Would you use the pain of a broken relationship for motivation or it's wiser to wait?

[Eternal Oblivion]

I was already suicidal since my health declined at age 30, but was still managing to go through with it because I had one person that cared for me and who I cared for.

Now that's over.

Usually I wouldn't be suicidal just for that but adding my health problem with it I feel I can no longer go on. The pain is unbelievable. I want lay down and stay there for ever.

My point being, should I use this pain for motivation or itt wiser to wait?

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

My only real relationship ended 4 years ago and it has definitely contributed to the motivation to catch the bus.

I didn't let it at first though - I'd say it shouldn't be close to the only reason you go through with it, and sometimes time can make it hurt a lot less, but sometimes a lot more too.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

Please don't. Please don't give that person so much control over your life. Please do not use your breakup as a reason to ctb.

If it's because they dumped you, they will not feel sorry, they will not rue the day they broke up with you and they might not even care.

If it was mutual or your doing, you cannot fix it by being absent.

The only way to get past breakup pain is to go through it. You have to feel the sad, feel the hurt, feel the loneliness and still live your life. It can pass, but it takes time.

I once broke up with someone, knowing it was the right thing to do. We really weren't compatible and it wasn't going anywhere productive. I feel sure that he agreed. I was still really surprised to find that it hurt. I shared this with my therapist at the time and she was very reassuring. She told me that losses are almost universally painful at some level and that my feelings were valid. I really needed to hear that.

Your health problems are something else entirely and you have my sympathies. It's so tough when our physical bodies betray us.

Maybe this is a time to focus on your health and to see if it can be improved? Perhaps to take on a new project? Something so your breakup is not the only thing you have going on in your life?

I know it's hard. I spent years feeling pain when an engagement ended but my life ended up in a much better place eventually. In the meantime, I did accomplish quite a bit and was able to live my life a bit more selfishly than I could when I was involved with someone.

I hope the messages here remind you that you are not alone.

 

[Eternal Oblivion]

Please don't. Please don't give that person so much control over your life. Please do not use your breakup as a reason to ctb.

If it's because they dumped you, they will not feel sorry, they will not rue the day they broke up with you and they might not even care.

If it was mutual or your doing, you cannot fix it by being absent.

The only way to get past breakup pain is to go through it. You have to feel the sad, feel the hurt, feel the loneliness and still live your life. It can pass, but it takes time.

I once broke up with someone, knowing it was the right thing to do. We really weren't compatible and it wasn't going anywhere productive. I feel sure that he agreed. I was still really surprised to find that it hurt. I shared this with my therapist at the time and she was very reassuring. She told me that losses are almost universally painful at some level and that my feelings were valid. I really needed to hear that.

Your health problems are something else entirely and you have my sympathies. It's so tough when our physical bodies betray us.

Maybe this is a time to focus on your health and to see if it can be improved? Perhaps to take on a new project? Something so your breakup is not the only thing you have going on in your life?

I know it's hard. I spent years feeling pain when an engagement ended but my life ended up in a much better place eventually. In the meantime, I did accomplish quite a bit and was able to live my life a bit more selfishly than I could when I was involved with someone.

I hope the messages here remind you that you are not alone.

Thank you for your thoughtful reply.. you gave me things to think about.

 

[Marktheghost]

If you're at all uncertain then don't. If you definitely want to die, but just need a little push to get over the SI holding you back or whatever, then I think using it as motivation would be helpful though.

 

[Sanva]

ctb over a breakup seems impulsive. imo it's best to wait and see how you feel when some time has passed, and if you still want to ctb you always can.