Discussion Would you really CTB because of another person?

[WornOutLife]

I used to have an ex who tended to threaten me with CTB if I ever left her, I ended up leaving her and she's still alive and very happy with another man. (I'm glad).

So, I was thinking, would you really CTB because of another person who hurt you, hates you, etc? I wouldn't.

They might be a bonus for my reasons to ctb but they would certainly never be THE MAIN REASON.

Today, I saw some posts related to this and as you know, I'm no pro-lifer at all but I think nobody should kill themselves for anybody.

 

[NothingElseMatters]

Yes

 

[BlackCatTalk]

Yeah I have a promise that i'm going to do. A promise is a promise. Even I promised things some time later, that unfortunately I will not be able to fulfill

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Honestly it depends. My ptsd is caused by childhood trauma.... so is it the ptsd or the person? But if my spouse left probably not

 

[Squiddy]

I was going to ctb because of my bullies back when I was 14, but eventually I didn't. Now I wanna ctb for other reasons. I wish I could've kicked their asses, but was too scared because I thought people would gang up on me :(

 

[WornOutLife]

I was going to ctb because of my bullies back when I was 14, but eventually I didn't. Now I wanna ctb for other reasons. I wish I could've kicked their asses, but was too scared because I thought people would gang up on me :(

Beating bullies is certainly hard. I had to learn taekwondo so as they wouldn't fuck around with me anymore. Just kicking the "boss" ass was more than enough.

 

[Spiral]

Hell no lol, I am far too stubborn to Ctb for someone else lol, there have been times I was so heart broken after a break up that I just wanted the pain to stop, but if I had Ctb at that time it would have been for myself, to free myself from pain, not for my ex or to make them feel bad or because of them. You can't help who you love but that means you also can't help who you don't love so if somebody no longer loves me i can't blame them but omg it still hurts. I have never been in greater emotional anguish than I was back then but somehow I found the will to go on. I will admit I kinda did die then, in a way. I have never been able to feel love again, despite having a few relationships afterwards and I did like my partners and I wanted to love them, I just couldn't because that part of me was/is dead. I am hollow now. I tried for years to get it back but the void has filled me, I became the void, it troubled me for a long time but now I am comfortable with it. I have accepted myself and I will still Ctb but not at all for this reason. It is enough to remember what love felt like :)
Also if your gf was making those threats to Ctb if you leave her that is emotional abuse and I'm glad you were strong and did what you felt was right despite the threats.
Nobody has a right to put that burden on somebody else, that's not what love is.

 

[Squiddy]

Beating bullies is certainly hard. I had to learn taekwondo so as they didn't fuck around with me anymore. Just kicking the "boss" ass was more than enough.

I should've continued taekwondo. I ended up dropping out when I was going to get my yellow belt because I was afraid I would fail the test. The day of the test, I pretended to sleep in and they called me a lot and eventually dropped out :( I had no self confidence back then and still kinda don't.

 

[TheGreatEscape]

No. I want to because of general depression and frustration with life. Not because of any individual.

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

I'd say not just another person, but the community. I don't want to be in a world where most people I have to engage with are cold or hostile towards me despite me being the best person I can be. Without a community, there's no reason to stick around.

 

[Frauw]

Saying you'd kill yourself if your partner left you is a disgusting manipulation tactic, that being said, no. CTB should be for yourself and yourself only, someone can be culpable of completely destroying your life if they are a particularly horrendous individual though.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Well I suppose my heartbreak is because of other people but I don't blame them or any of the people who make up my emotional baggage. The heartbreak I've suffered unintentionally at their hands only hurts so much because it tends to confirm a lot of the terrible things I already believed about myself, like how I'm unlovable or generally don't belong anywhere or with anyone.

While I may want to CTB solely because of myself, it can be complicated because I often perceive "myself" as a separate entity living within my body. When it comes to the different entities, I can't always tell which one I am but I now know that one generally wants to kill myself because they are afraid of what the other self will do if they actually were empowered to carry out their will. The other wants to only kill the other self for getting in our way all this time.

 

[Isadeth]

In the wrong state of mind it would be the final catalyst to a long list of reasons. The final "push" if you will. Not necessarily because of them, but the straw that broke the camel's back.

 

[WornOutLife]

I love reading your answers so much! Thanks for visiting this thread!!!

 

[Water-Lily]

Absolutely. Many people including my own family have hurt me. My mother in partucialr was the driving force behind my desire to CTB. So, yes, very likely I would CTB because of the abuse committed due to other people.

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

Absolutely. Many people including my own family have hurt me. My mother in partucialr was the driving force behind my desire to CTB. So, yes, very likely I would CTB because of the abuse committed due to other people.

I feel you there...

 

[Rue89]

I've had other reasons for a long time, but now there is someone who has become another big reason. I think ctb is the only way I'll be free of them.

 

[Loser47]

What if that other person fucked you up mentally? And now this is affecting all aspects of your life

 

[WaitingForTheBusInTh]

Exclusively because of one person? Probably not. I dont think I have one primary or sole reason, more like an amalgamation of reasons. But I do fully intend to send messages to my past two managers explicitly listing them as reasons why I'm gonna ctb. Maybe that's a cruel thing to do but they were crueler.

 

[it's_all_a_game]

Ehhh, I think ctb-ing because of someone else is a not-so smart idea, due to it being unlikely that it will effect them in any way, aside from guilt and/or grief.

 

[notreallynow]

Yes.

 

[Last chance]

Not because of one person exactly but because of a whole list of people acting in the same way in a never ending cycle and the last person just happens to be the final straw.

 

[imsorrythatimhere]

Maybe? In the way that this person sort of overwhelms pre-existing problems and inabilities to cope

 

[Disappointered]

You know the saying: If you can't beat'em...kill yourself.

 

[Q-Dust]

I would never do it because of somebody else, But mostly is because I've never had a real connection with anyone, Maybe if I had someone that I can connect with my answer might change.

 

[Nicothe13th]

I mean if that person was the reason I was suffering so profusely and there was no way of living a meaningful life without being affected by them then yeah, absolutely.

You know the saying: If you can't beat'em...kill yourself.

Ehhh, I think ctb-ing because of someone else is a not-so smart idea, due to it being unlikely that it will effect them in any way, aside from guilt and/or grief.

There's murder if you're trying to make them suffer, but yeah agreed, don't base your actions on how you think someone will feel

Base it on if you'll feel better or worse than you do under your circumstances.

 

[Wakawaka]

many people are raped/abused and wouldve/have done it because of those people

 

[W’ren]

Without having any mental illness or past trauma or going through any issues otherwise? Just because my partner left me? No, i wouldn't ctb due to that- wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

BUT

If i'm already contemplating ctb, and i'm walking the edge, and everything is falling to pieces around me, yeah it would push me over.

A fight with my boyfriend just did push my anxiety into overdrive and now that anxiety has turned into feeling dead and empty inside- reminded me of the fact no one needs me and i'm just a drain on resources.

My boyfriend and i are together still. We worked it out- but inside i am still pushed to my breaking point. It's just too much.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

I definitely will. I can't have her now, because my opportunity passed 14 years ago. Each year only makes the memories more painful and the very notion that I'm getting older and KNOWING that time cannot be turned back terrifies me.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Hell no!