Would you reach out to say goodbye to someone in you’re past if they really mattered?

[melancholymallory03]

I don't know what to do. It's been on my mind almost every five minutes of the day. I have a letter written but , it's just a comic strip/ drawing of my feelings because I couldn't put them into words…. I had a person in my life a long time ago one of the only mental health professionals that ever made me feel vaguely comfortable and seen. Safe. I wanted to thank them because they are the only person I got saddled with that didn't do lie, was just honest. Didn't pretend to change anything and just listened. Due to an unfortunate series of events , and I think the health of there family, they got called away and I never saw them again abruptly. I refused therapy since because it's hard for me to connect with people.

Should I just call them? I'm so nervous , and I won't say i plan on catching the bus before my next birthday….

Just want to find as much closure as I can, tie any loose ends I may have. But I can't fight the anxiety to contact them, and im scared if I drink alcohol it will make me say something stupid or not be authentic… because sometimes it's just a good social mask for me personally , but maybe not the best for this conversation.
How can I get past this fear, I don't wanna feel like i ctb without telling them I appreciated their efforts.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

I'd be wary of saying goodbye to anyone unless it was delayed in some way because they may try and step in. That's my own personal opinion. Obviously there may be a part of you with hope that wants to be saved and fair enough, we are all different.

I plan on sending an email to someone but will do it either by scheduling or drafting out and pressing send only at the point of no return.

 

[sserafim]

No because no one matters to me

 

[melancholymallory03]

I'd be wary of saying goodbye to anyone unless it was delayed in some way because they may try and step in. That's my own personal opinion. Obviously there may be a part of you with hope that wants to be saved and fair enough, we are all different.

I plan on sending an email to someone but will do it either by scheduling or drafting out and pressing send only at the point of no return.

yes that's true, I don't wanna be saved though by anyone but myself. These highs and lows are confusing
, just wanted to thank them for being a kind person. I haven't experienced much kindness in therapeutic settings….


I painted something instead, because I know I will freeze up if I try to call them, it's happened before. I just have to get some mailing materials and I'm good to go.

No because no one matters to me

understandable ….