Discussion Would you have sex with a girl with scars/cuts from self-harm?

[Asingletwig]

Ok I know it doesn't have much to do with suicide but I need to know. If the answer is yes up to what limit it must have them and how deep?

Yes, sure I've got plenty myself and I can't be judging anyone for their scars. I don't think there would be a limit if I liked the person.

 

[Maeve]

I think that scars are kinda beautiful.
I personally would have problems with really fresh cuts but thats because of the blood and nothing with sh. I might ask about it but if we are already at intimacy i think it might already been talked about.

 

[medipoison]

well it would be hypocritical if i judged her for that, so yes, with no limits.

 

[woh6]

I hope you don't worry too much about that, you're beautiful and valuable with or without them. Besides, scars don't always have a big effect on how people perceive you. As others mentioned, if the person you're gonna have sex with genuinely loves and cares for you, then that wouldn't change anything for them.

 

[MelancholyMagic]

I always thought self-harm was a bit silly, but seeing the scars would make me feel more comfortable around her, all other things being equal. I don't want sex with anyone though, so, by inclusion, no, I would not want to have sex with a girl with scars from self harm.

 

[darkizz]

I dont think thats a problem. But i would´t know how to act. Should i avoid them whilst touching. Or can i caress them or kiss them.

 

[vaspertine]

I have self-harm scars that I've had covered now by my wonderful tattoo artist friend. You can kind of feel them on my skin but they're not inherently noticeable unless you're looking for them. I think if someone didn't want to sleep with you because of scars they have some bigger problems and you probably wouldn't want to sleep with them anyway lol.

 

[Unattainable666]

My fiancé is covered in scars himself, I love him. I've slept with him just fine scars are nothing to be ashamed of, nor does it change anything visually, they're kinda like freckles to the eye (not in appearance quite literally) but in a way that they're like little designs. Nothing bad. If anything I love looking at them and knowing he feels better in the moment rather than what he had to experience in order for those to appear to begin with. They're a reminder that he's in a better place now with a home that truly cherishes him. They aren't ugly, like I said, they're like little designs, I wouldn't be ashamed if I had them (I personally do, even stab wounds that quite literally have lifted skin in their healed scar areas. I'm not ashamed of my scars and my fiance loves mine just fine as well.)

Your fiance is very lucky to have someone who loves him so much.

 

[Linalez]

I'm female. Wouldn't care about another female having those. Why should I? I just wish us to click together, to show affection, love and understanding. Possibly be happy.

(Other lesbians here from Western Europe?)

 

[FunkoGatito]

Ok I know it doesn't have much to do with suicide but I need to know. If the answer is yes up to what limit it must have them and how deep?

I would have sex with a person with scars. No matter how many, no matter what they look like. Since I have scars, I don't think it would be fair for me to say no, even though I understand why someone might not want. ^^

 

[Antibody246]

yes

 

[R_N]

Personally I don't want to be close to anyone on that level anymore regardless who they are.

That aside I am sure people can get close to each other no matter what if they spend enough time together and are comfortable.

 

[Dara Argith]

yes, since I have them as well.

 

[Left]

Wouldn't make a difference at all.

 

[MeltingBrain]

Yes, I don't care how deep it is .

 

[colorlesshue]

my girlfriend has them, i really don't care their just apart of your body yk?? doesn't stop someone from being beautiful or lovable

 

[Terranova]

ok so i came in here kinda just looking to see what ppl thought bcs i have SH scars, and lowkey i wish people would like the scars, not as in good that they are there but as in seeing beauty in them, because, to me atleast, they are an intimate thing, and to think of someone loving them makes me feel warm, but idfk

 

[todeswunsch]

ok so i came in here kinda just looking to see what ppl thought bcs i have SH scars, and lowkey i wish people would like the scars, not as in good that they are there but as in seeing beauty in them, because, to me atleast, they are an intimate thing, and to think of someone loving them makes me feel warm, but idfk

my ex gf had a lot of scars, she was ashamed of it so ended up covering them with tattoos.
I wont say that I like that someone cuts itself as its result of suffering, but I find the scars beautiful. Not just aesthetically but also symbolic. As you said, they are an intimate thing.

 

[Celerity]

Yes but not preferentially. It would make no difference to me.

 

[whywere]

It what is in the heart not what is on the outside, love is being human, short answer, yes.

Walter

 

[icari]

It has never bothered me at all, only when it has been actively happening while we are together and obviously I become concerned. Scars that are there when we meet I've never been bothered by, tbh if anything it probably means we can relate better. Would probably have to agree with posts above though that if it's some gore-level stuff that might be a different story.

 

[Kattt]

Only the most superficial guy will have issues with scars. Cuts however are another matter. Scars show you have moved on and worked through that, putting it in your past. Cuts are not going to be the most appealing feature, indicating instability. Generally, people look for someone who they can have fun with.
Speaking as someone who has been there, that's just the way I see it.

 

[bret217]

I have a few thousand mild styro scars on between my knees to my hips, honestly, never thought about someone else having them. I know I am self conscious about them, but never considered someone else having them.

coldnessinmyheart shit gave me a vasovagal response.

I remember that name from a very long time ago. 8~ years ago. I've known a few people that have done that level of damage once or twice, but not typically regular. I hope they moved on from where they were. The mind during that time is really hell.

 

[deadtomorrow]

I'd have sex with any woman.

Unless it's coldnessinmyheart-level self-harm (I would not recommend looking that up, basically extreme self harm), I don't see why not.
I don't know why it has to be sex specifically either, I would date someone like that. I think I would prefer it, actually. Knowing my girlfriend could relate to me. Perhaps finding some sort of comfort in each other despite our struggles.

Imagine fucking the wounds!