Discussion Would you be ok with it if your loved ones covered it up as an accident?

[TDF]

Would you feel bad if you knew your loved ones told everyone it was an accident to cover up that you had ctbed?

I'm personally totally ok with that and in fact will probably encourage it. I'm already dead it doesn't matter to me but if it helps my loved ones deal with things then it's ok by me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think in some ways, I'd prefer some of my extended family to think it was just an accident. That may be less of a shock for them. Especially the more elderly members. Most of my younger extended family don't even know me but I guess it would still be a bit of a shock. I would be the first person I know of in my family to commit suicide. I'm not keen on the idea of setting a precedent- although really- I think I'm too estranged from them for that.

That said- I'm not exactly ashamed of it. I feel very strongly that people should have the right to end their lives. Beyond it upsetting people- which I would prefer to lessen, I probably would be fine with people knowing the truth.

In my case- it would possibly be my step family lying about it- which would actually annoy me (were that possible) seeing as some of them were the main reason I first developed ideation in the first place! That said- I think they're just as likely to see it as an act of cowardice and maybe even some admission of guilt (having been portrayed as the villain by a suspected narcissist,) so- who knows? Some of them may actually secretely delight in saying it was suicide.

I think- either way, I would actually be fine with it. If people were lying to spare others trauma- I'd be grateful. If people were lying to spare themselves possible blame- that wouldn't surprise me.

 

[befree]

No. No matter why and how they do it. Suicide is a human right !

Actually, I would think it would even be nice, because they might do it that way so the family would suffer less or be less shocked.
An accident can happen every day. Everyone must expect that. But a suicide is always something unexpected.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case whatever happens in this world after I'm gone could simply never be my concern, I don't really care what my death is viewed as, because I won't be there. Death is the most normal thing anyway and my existence is so meaningless and insignificant, we all have to die someday, I bet that eventually most of us won't even exist in the memories of those who continue to stay here.

 

[Huntfish34]

I reckon I would be fine with that, depending on who's behind it and how they go about it. Could be a true blessing to some of my family/ friends I believe.

But as some of you already stated, I will be Dead and Gone so it truly wouldn't matter in the end.

 

[Crono]

I hate lies or manipulation, the truth should be free and known under any circumstances and for any reason.

 

[MeltingBrain]

Interesting question .

Yes, I highly encourage them to!! but only if they can get away with it .
It would save them from a lot of embarrassment. Imagine a parent going to a room full of people and always being "that mom whose son CTB'd" rather than "that mom whose son tragically died when he slip and fell". The second scenario sounds comparatively more normal , less stigmatized and less trauma inducing than the first.
However if they can't pull off the lie . The embarrassment doubles . So that's a bit risky.

 

[ikadasui]

Genuinely yes. I'd have a much easier time if I knew I'd be written off as such. Don't want to be just some mental health quack that gets added to the statistics

 

[Fe(IV)]

We have to stop all this nonsense censorship because reality is too dark and grim to head face on.

If I die don't fucking sugarcoat it.

 

[anhed0nia]

I would prefer that they didn't. I feel very strongly that suicide/euthanasia should be available to all adults who are capable of assessing the quality of their own lives, and that we should be able to talk about it with respect and dignity. I tend to think that covering it up would just contribute to the sense that it is too shameful to talk about, and it would allow people to persist in the delusion that "it only happens to other people", not your own loved ones. But of course, I don't have people in my life who I think would be unduly traumatized--like, no one very old or very young, and I'd like to think that people who know me are aware of my feelings on the matter already. And on some level I think that life is for the living; like your funeral isn't really for YOU, it's for the people who attend it to grieve however they need to. I remember how my mother died when I was a teenager and her funeral had this religious component to it that completely surprised me because we weren't religious at all, but someone explained to me that that stuff was just in there to make the older relatives feel better. So, I get that, and I guess I'm agnostic on the matter, even though my personal preference would be NOT to cover up.

 

[TDF]

it will be so much easier for my parents if they didn't have to deal with the judgement and shame that society and family will place on them for something I chose to do, some societies are worse about this than others unfortunately, for many cultures and countries ctb is illegal. So it could be as if you family thought you murdered someone. And the elderly and sickly I really worry about how they take the news I don't want again my own decision about myself to contribute to the decline of their health.

I totally am hearing what everyone is saying about making a point and contributing to an overall sense of shame and persisting the status quo. It definitely has that effect. The more that is brought to light the better.

I feel so conflicted and angry and sad. The betrayal and abuse of my husband killed everything in me, my parents are neglectful and make me feel so alone even though they are amazingly nice people, I like to think they don't mean it. The reasons for my ctb are entirely revolved around my experience with these loved ones, and yet I still put their feelings and welfare and my duties to them above myself and my truth, I've done nothing in the last two month except to try to make things as easy as possible for them while I grappled with the concept that I will actually voluntarily kill myself because my heart is so broken and my faith in humanity is so destroyed by my loved ones. I know there can be no justice for me i will make peace with it. I really wish though, even now, that I was loved like they had promised, that's all I really ever needed. Yet I know after the ctb I will still be labelled selfish, weak, maybe even crazy or impulsive, none of which I ever was in life.

 

[liljeep]

No... if I CTB, I would want anyone who learns of my death to know it was intentional. I would want my family and friends to deal with the emotional and personal repercussions of the fallout. I don't care if people judge me for the way I died. I can't be offended when I'm dead.

 

[marshmallowfluff]

I would encourage it. If it's easier for other people and easier for them, then go for it.

 

[Shaylla1998]

This matter does not concern me.

 

[TDF]

Sorry should have also added a I do not care option