Discussion what’s your relationship with sh?

[loslassen]

Since I relapsed today and am back to cutting (yeah I know, the boring self harm. It sucked too because I don't have any good blades around) I think I like it because it is relieving the stress from having so many emotions (which are all dogshit and I wish I could stop feeling them).
So it's pretty similar to smoking (without the cost) or wanking (without the ick). You could argue the scarring does make me ugly but then again, I don't care.

Yeahh, same here

 

[Honeyhato]

Did it a lot in the past, cutting burning and others. Not a serious attempt at killing myself but a complicated feeling of deserving suffering and possibly seeking some kind of sympathy. I do regret it now if only because now my arms are absolutely covered in scars, not just paper thin ones but, horribly raised ones from cuts that required stitches. The cuts are immediately obvious to anyone who looks, and so I avoid wearing short sleeves even in the summer. I live in a place where summers are extremely hot so honestly it's quite unbearable, and also for my job it sucks
I can't even explain why I did it. I stopped cutting and now self harm via eating and puking, which I do consider a kind of self harm considering blood often comes out

 

[rainatthebusstop]

I can't even explain why I did it. I stopped cutting and now self harm via eating and puking, which I do consider a kind of self harm considering blood often comes out

Sounds like you have internal bleeding. Maybe get that checked out. unless you don't wanna.

Also unrelated but I really like your profile pic

 

[suffering2026]

it feels like a release of stress to cut myself

 

[Honeyhato]

it feels like a release of stress to cut myself

Unrelated but ur icon is my discord icon long live smoking reimu

 

[suffering2026]

Unrelated but ur icon is my discord icon long live smoking reimu

hell yea that made me smile

 

[Honeyhato]

Sounds like you have internal bleeding. Maybe get that checked out. unless you don't wanna.

Also unrelated but I really like your profile pic

Its bright red and not a darkish color, so I guess it's coming from my throat and not deeper down
Maybe? I am not a doctor lol

Thank you he is a cute bean
I found him at Pokémon center

hell yea that made me smile

She is sick of this yokai bullshit

 

[hurb]

i used to do it , at first i didnt go deep it felt similar to how cat scars feel, a small tingle but i used to enjoy it cause by looking at my hand i can observe time passing. i struggle with sever detachment so things that make me feel real are welcome. one day i cut too deep ; it felt weird , nno pain ; it looked similar to how it looks when u cut meat.
it made me realise how human and pathetic im;;; I Stopped cutting since cause i felt bad; i was so lonely all the time the only mf there for me was my body so i stopped harming it. now i have facial hair and body hair it hlps me see time through their growth

 

[monkeybusiness17]

sorry that I keep making similar posts, the topic has just been in my mind and i feel a lot better when i'm able to talk about it with people without getting judged or them getting worried about me and snooping around my privacy like most close people would do irl.

so far for me self harm is something ambiguous and double-bladed, I know it can range from just pinching yourself to the worst permanent damage injuries possible. i have not reached out to professional or psychological sources to understand it yet, so to be fair it's an extremely unknown field of data for me, which encourages me to want and hear it from people themselves, therefore; what's your relationship with sh? what does it mean for you, why do you do it?

I used to bruise myself up with objects and rubber bands as well as bleeding my nose out just to touch the blood, but i stopped and never did anything of the sorts for almost two years. just a couple of days ago i tried cutting, which was shockingly satisfying, even though it's short lived, i actively want to do it again.

by the way, disclaimer that I am in no way encouraging this, in the end of the day it is harm to the person and nothing of the sorts should be acceptable to recommend. i find it comforting being able to talk about my own experience without shame and in seek of answers, reasons, and listening to others' experiences.

I started doing it years ago in high school, then stopped for a good 4-5 years. I stupidly picked it up again in the past few years but it started escalating and getting worse so I haven't done it in like almost 6 months now. I miss it though

 

[Honeyhato]

Sounds like you have internal bleeding. Maybe get that checked out. unless you don't wanna.

Also unrelated but I really like your profile pic

And thank you I took the picture myself

 

[yourmemory]

started cutting at 10. relapsed for the first time in two years yesterday. it honestly felt amazing, almost euphoric in that moment. i feel terrible now, especially because my girlfriend found out. with that relapse i'd say my depression is officially back in full force.

 

[I_go_in]

Only thing I've come close to understand this by is IVing drugs. I've never been in a state of mind where I would like to physically harm myself. But, when I started using needles I realized I sort of liked the entire procedure including the "pain" (doesn't actually hurt it's all mental). I would also be interested in knowing the differences between men and women when it comes to self harm and then extrapolate it onto some sort of evolutionary psychology. In my experience it's women who do overwhelmingly more self harm but I would like to know an explanation for the difference. My sister's both did. Me and my brother both did not. Every time I've seen rows of those scars it's been women. It just has me curious.

i've been self harming since I was eight years old, for me it's always been a natural instinct to bite myself when I was angry or overwhelmed. Now i'm older, and I cut myself frequently. It's a weird sense of safety for me, that no matter what someone does to me or has done I can always do worse. It's a weird feeling of "reclaiming" my own body by ruining it, if that makes any sense.

Do you happen to be on the autism spectrum at all? My mother is a BCBA and deals directly with autism and I've been around them for most of my life and this was common.

 

[Bassem]

Complicated, I've been self harming on and off since I was 14 (now almost 21) it's always given me a since of pride and control that I wasn't able to find elsewhere I also felt that I could somehow get back at people close to me who've hurt me (however untrue). I rarely get ashamed of my scars and when I do it gives more truth to the way I view myself (how Im a freak and an outcast) but throughout the years I've been told many times of how pointless it is and how Im only harming myself and that those feelings are fleeting and untrue. And I stopped for a while when I was manic and had a inflated ego and self worth I'd prevent myself from SH for a while, and that worked. But recently I've been doing it again and it doesn't feel like harm to me, it feels like self love , nourishment, it's a way for me to feel something other than melancholy, depression and numbness. So yeah now everytime I do it I have a little debate within myself but I usually give in

 

[Ihatemonday]

Cutting, burning, piercing, stapling, bruising, biting, head banging, it's been like 6 or 7 years and I can confidently say it's a life-lasting addiction. At least, I can't imagine myself without it.

 

[moonshard]

I've always had like a tendency to hurt myself on purpose whenever I was frustrated since I was a child sort of. Started cutting with scissors when my emotions got too intense when I was 14, only during emotional outbursts though.

Now I'm just cutting whenever I tweak out, or feel like it. It sucks but it's all I've got now. So I guess a love hate relationship then.

 

[deadngoresurgery]

None whatsoever. I hate the slightest damage to my body. As you can imagine, this is an obstacle to suicide. I just want to turn off! I don't want to blow my head up or even bruise my neck.

same, but i dont want an excruciating amount of pain. i just wanna go to sleep and never wake up again

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

same, but i dont want an excruciating amount of pain. i just wanna go to sleep and never wake up again

Painless death by drugs. The technology exists, and no one will give it to us.

 

[deadngoresurgery]

Painless death by drugs. The technology exists, and no one will give it to us.

exactly. im so mad at that

 

[constellationmind]

We have been self harming for 16 years, since we were 13 years old and we're 29 years old now.

Our main form of self harm is cutting, and the severity of our self harm has gradually increased to the point of starting with scratches with a knife that barely broke the skin, to needing surgery.

Our self harm feels like a part of who we are. It serves as calming & soothing for the most part, and we can barely go a few days without it. We definitely consider it an addiction and we never want to let go of it.

We hope you don't feel alone lovely human! We understand.


(We are a Dissociative Identity Disorder system and we use plural pronouns such as "we" and "our" to express our experience of being a dissociative system)

 

[RestlessTaiga]

Is like the green goblin mask, it's always calling me back, always in the back of my mind. Recently I started doing it again, and it felt incredible, it was satisfying, it was painful, yes, but that pain, that burning on my skin felt good, strangely good, now, I do it everytime I'm stressed or in the verge of a panic attack.