Would you be less suicidal if you had friends and a community you belonged to?

[come to dust]

yes, but the kind of friendships and communities id enjoy ive only found in distant places i visited where i cannot relocate, so i shall remain isolated

 

[Elysium Searcher]

Maybe... Well, it depends.

I do not seek any friendships anymore. I think they are overrated a bit. I mean, yeah, sure, you might share some good memories and spend time together.
But I'm not sure if it's worth risking being abandoned later on, or traumatized by their actions if they turn out to be evil people. I feel exactly the same about any communities.

If they could tolerate me, not necessarily accept, or like me, but tolerate (preferably) and do something with me from time to time, then maybe I could feel slightly less suicidal. But that wouldn't be a big difference for me, and definitely not big enough to stop thinking about ending my life.

I simply can't connect with others anymore. I used to struggle with that a lot, but now it feels like it's completely impossible for me now.

 

[brutalus]

this is a great sadness for me. my father is mexican, my mother japanese, i look like and arab and i went to a British school most my life. with the mexican poor my skin is the right color but not quite the right shape and definitely not the right culture. with the rich, the culture is right but the skin color is a problem. in japan i look like an arab and they are very racist. in europe too. ive always felt like a stranger everywhere i go. even in small groups.

theres other things that make me always feel separate: my understanding, my left handedness, my asthma, my violence.

 

[samsaragothands]

for sure. i used to be part of a really big community when i was younger, but i was forced to relocate to a country where i couldn't fit in. it's definitely not a competition, but i sometimes wish i was like some people who have been lonely for the majority of their life just because it drives me balls to wall insane being more acutely aware of how much i'm missing out on.

 

[blvck]

maybe... but I've never had close relationships with anyone besides my mom, so idk how that feels

 

[WinterIsComing]

Yeah...but communities are weird today lol

 

[Celerity]

Yeah...but communities are weird today lol

Can you expand on this? I think they are too. Not sure if I mean this in the same way though. In-person "communities" make me think of political movements or cults. Online ones are flaky, transient, and volatile at best. I don't think there are any good ones left. None that would take me anyway.

 

[coffee]

I think it could help but not necessarily.

 

[Flare]

Not having one is one of the main reasons I sometimes have this instinct to run to the bus stop.
Not necessarily because of loneliness, I actually don't mind being alone, but rather it's a constant reminder that I'm the weirdo, the outsider, too strange to be accepted into any community (or for me to accept them. I've had groups I've left running because I felt like I didn't belong.)

 

[Irrelevant biologist]

I drove around today, trying to find one single person to hang with or even just talk to. Zero success. So maybe? I wouldn't actually know.

 

[demuic]

It would make me less lonely, probably not less suicidal.

Unfortunately, there's absolutely no one like me, and that's my problem. I'm always the outsider and the odd one out. I could probably search my whole life and the whole world and only find 1 or 2 people who I could really connect with, have similar interests to me, and who don't annoy me in some way.

I'm a contrarian and don't do or believe anything just because it happens to be popular and that already puts me at odds with most people.

Any community usually tends to be filled with a bunch of loud assholes/narcissists and their followers who just want to fit in and follow the herd. I'd rather have a close small group of friends, maybe 5 people max. Any more than that and there are too many idiots/brainless types and annoying people.

If I could magically find a community of a bunch of weirdos like me I might stick around longer. SS is close but not quite.

 

[Luchs]

I feel it's impossible for me to be part of a community. My personality, temperament, social class, and status as an immigrant, basically make it impossible for me to belong anywhere.

Do you think you would have something to live for if you were part of a community?

I am part of a community, I have my friends, my family, my culture, but I'm still miserable.

 

[January-ish]

yes, absolutely

 

[Amacko]

It would be a great distraction I think. Obviously not all of our problems can be solved, but talking it out with like minded people may be very helpful for some

 

[Serio]

Yeah when I feel like I'm apart of one normally I start becoming happy again and less suicidal but not like I will ever be able to actually find one that stays Bc I have a shitty personality

 

[ClownMe]

Mhm, I don't think so, I just think it'd be like putting a band-aid on my depression, it's still there and it will always be there.

 

[Pallf]

On second thought I'd say no. I just don't fit with people. This place is a nice distraction however. Only place where I can really talk about what's going on in my head and I don't have to lie about it.

 

[Filia Dei]

I'm only this depressed when I feel like I have zero options to stop suffering or feel trapped with no way of restoring my well-being. If I had a good & trustworthy spouse who would be very kind to me, I probably would not even be on here.

In 2020, the only decent & trustworthy family I had remaining in this country was my Mother, my Sister, & my Niece and Nephew.
My wonderful Mom died shortly after a ridiculous PCR swab "test" and now my sweet sister & niece have been ill for months related to the Moderna "vaccine". What an evil era.

If the satanic illuminati & freemasons were not continuously forcing insane never-ending LIES about a "pandemic", stupid masks, lockdowns, etc. & trying to force experimental injections that murder and maim people... I would be feeling a whole lot more resilient.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

It doesn't help me. I've been in a few communities, and even if I'm with people I'm close to, it's always ended up unbearable for me. I have some very good friends, some have been my friends for many years. And I'm still just….

 

[Filia Dei]

I think it could help but not necessarily.

Your dog is SO ADORABLE in that picture!

 

[stygal]

Im meant to be alone (which from time to time makes me a bit melancholic but never really sad) - my earliest memory is me playing in the grass for hours on end and not caring about my mother looking for me.

It's not like there aren't (stubborn) people close to me or even those whom I could (potentially) relate to - it's just I'm mentally not capable to keep in touch (for the most part) and many people thus only been in my life for a few months at a time.

It's okay, I thought about it a lot and came to the conclusion that my life's role is to be an "observer" not an "active participant" (which wouldn't make me less depressed anyhow).

So no, I wouldnt feel better within a social circle. It would most likely drain me even more.

 

[ven]

Nope, I'd fair better isolated from society and communities to the point that I'm no longer reminded that they exist. I'm about 10 years away from achieving a variation of this, so that's what provides me relief.

 

[tabletop]

Nope, I'd fair better isolated from society and communities to the point that I'm no longer reminded that they exist. I'm about 10 years away from achieving a variation of this, so that's what provides me relief.

I'd like to hear more about what you're 10 years away from achieving.

 

[ven]

I'd like to hear more about what you're 10 years away from achieving.

Nothing glamorous, simply obtaining enough resources to live in an isolated, self-sustaining fashion far from population centers and with low risk of future human development.

 

[Tamz]

I think so if people weren't so fake and fickle. I seem to have lost my ability to make friends really.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

No, friends don't pay my bills.

 

[Lmd]

I don't enjoy communities. They requires to follow their rules to fit in and I usually get tired of those things so I never have the feeling of being part of one. I prefer to have friends separately or small groups.

 

[TriggerHappy]

Ugh, really : communities?
That word reminds me of another :: contagion.
Being infected with the mass-mind bullshit of needing to belong to be effective. Yuk.
I'm defective. Always have been. I do sports, work on farm teams, locum at vets, hang with bikers, in 12step recovery (love it, but don't get it right) I've tried so damn hard to make people like me,
But like I said, when they get to know me, they scatter like rats.
Its my aftershave (eau de Selfdèstrūctión) or my wounded child within (that wields an axe).
You are my peeps, you understand the seriousness of how fucked this is...
Its not like who pushes whom in the swimming pool, its about who kills themselves and who gets left behind.
We KNOW we are all alone, in this ,in everything.
Unless u wanna come over, get drunk/high and we can play Russian roulette?
Oh....im better off alone, I understand.

 

[miserableforever]

I feel it's impossible for me to be part of a community. My personality, temperament, social class, and status as an immigrant, basically make it impossible for me to belong anywhere.

Do you think you would have something to live for if you were part of a community?

Likewise, I'm in the same boat.

But on top of that I have grow to dislike human interaction due to a past relationship being abusive to me, sexually as well as mentally.
I can't make it stop because of my circumstances.

 

[bear_trapped]

absolutely. the main thing causing my suffering is the unbearable amount of loneliness i feel every single day. i go to school, go to work, and then go home to sit in bed alone until it's time to go back to school. i can't imagine how it feels having a friend group that invites me to hang out anymore. i haven't had that in a few years now and i don't see myself ever having it again.