worst part of premeditating suicide (imo)

[ctbcat]

god, i mean there's a lot of bad things about premeditating it, don't get me wrong, haha...

but trying to act as if you're 100% normal, 100% planning to live out the next 10 years, et cetera while having no drive because "i'm going to kill myself in 2.5 weeks"... oh, it fucking SUCKS. im a really slothful, avoidant depressioner, so it's not really a change in behaviour, irs just getting a little worse but

i have no good excuse for the things im doing. obviously you can't really say "ah yeah, i'm giving up because i'm going to kill myself" - congrats, you've just speedran being sectioned into the ER.

hiding intent is the best course of action to actually be able to pull it off. but ugh it makes me want to peel my skin off

 

[Banan321]

100% I cant get assignments done for uni, I mostly just sleep and smoke, feeling like a piece of shit. I have a public presentation in like 2 days waiting for all my supplies to ctb to arrive. I wish I just could do it now.

 

[TapeMachine]

It's super tough for me to act as though everything is just peachy.

I have one of those demeanors that automatically tells others how I'm feeling (whether in person, over the phone), and it's either (1) so fucking happy and glad to see you..or (2) leave me the F alone while I die inside. Play-pretending that I'm happy/content when I'm not is so difficult, but I do the best I can.

 

[gggy]

100% I cant get assignments done for uni, I mostly just sleep and smoke, feeling like a piece of shit. I have a public presentation in like 2 days waiting for all my supplies to ctb to arrive. I wish I just could do it now.

truly same with me too, I couldn't do any of my assignments knowing I would ctb later

 

[mortuarymary]

Wonder if your can get a greeting card for that (only kidding)

you have to pretend you're happy, they won't suspect a thing lol