Wish I had SN

[hiddenbpd]

I was so close to buying SN prior to all of recent drama with it. I was excited to have an option, a way out, that could have actually worked. Something concrete in my hands that I knew would take away any future for myself when I was ready. But I chickened out, I waited too long. I was scared to take the steps towards it, and now I'm screwed.
Now I want to go so bad and I'm so mad at myself for not buying it when I had the chance. Sure I may have been visited by the police, and that would've caused its own anxiety, but at least I would've known I had a good option.
Now I feel stuck here. I feel trapped.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would wish you had that, it's just so cruel to me how reliable suicide method options aren't available all the time, we all deserve that option so we have a choice. Those who wish to deny people the right to die only create more suffering, I understand that it's awful and tiring feeling trapped here.

 

[OutOfTheVoid]

i understand how you feel, in a similar situation myself. when SN was briefly available online i missed the chance because i didnt have money to buy it at the time, was planning to wait until i could afford it but then when i did finally have money it had just been taken down, i think i was like a week or so too late. now im back to being stuck here