I'm the same way. Its horrible feeling being trapped in a situation where the only way to escape is to end your life. I think when people say that there are other ways to escape it, or that you should just grin and bear it really sucks as well. Especcially when you have already attempted those other ways and are met with repeated failure and brick walls you can't get over, it often feels like everyone around you is just telling to bash your head against a wall and shut up.