ikadasui
Arcanist
- May 29, 2018
- 466
The days are hell. Wake up wishing I had killed myself the night before, the week before, the month before, and, well, you get the idea. It's miserable in and of its own right, but throw in health and financial problems and it just gets 100 times worse. I don't want to participate in anything and yet if I don't i'll be in a worse position. I can't even afford my own rent each month and have to be a constant financial drain on my family which makes me feel fucking great, and the only alternative is to simply work more... yeah, i'm having so much fun already let me throw more hours of hell and stressful bullshit into the mix because that will make me feel much better. this is such a shitshow I can't even enjoy my normal distractions anymore. I feel guilty buying food to eat because I'm so behind on bills and everything it's just a fucking nightmare each day and I have o fucking fun! It blows my fucking mind the human race has survived as long as it has with its ability to be a constant fucking hell hole for most of its occupants