will your suicide be unexpected?

[BottomlessPit]

My decline happened very gradually over the course of months and years. Not even I noticed that something was changing until it was too late. Because the changes in my behavior came so slow and gradual, the people in my life became easily accustomed to my new self. They probably just think that my weird behavior is due to personality quirks.

I kept my unhappiness to myself because I can't stand the thought of other people knowing about my mental state. It's a very visceral aversion. It's so intense that for some time it silenced my suicidal thoughts, because if I killed myself then everyone would know I was unhappy. But now I comfort myself with the fact that I won't be around to witness all that.

No one knows what's going on. I will be one of those cases where they say "it came out of nowhere" and from their perspective it's true. I am painfully aware of the fact that they will be completely and utterly unprepared. But I guess suicide is never pretty.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think mine would be unexpected. I hide my emotions from others and for the most part they think I am okay. They know I have been struggling from physical problems but they have no idea that I think about ctb all the time. I think if people knew they would desperately try to prevent it and find solutions.

But there is no solutions, nobody can help. Non existence is what I want, I simply do not like living. Others would fail to understand that so I keep to myself. So yes, it would shock them and cause them pain but suicide is a pain cycle, to end mine, it passes it on to someone else. Pain is simply inevitable in this life.

 

[nopointofliving]

Yes it will

 

[Pessimist]

I'm not sure, my family knows about my suicidal thoughts, but I am not really talking about my emotions.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

No, hopefully not. I've been trying hard to prepare the people around me for it. It won't be until next year anyway so there's plenty of time.

 

[TheYounger]

I think that people that i know and work with get a general sense that I'm depressed. I'm very quiet and hardly make any conversation out of what's being talked about which is usually work or whatever. So, I think if I were to ctb it wouldn't come as a big surprise.

But then again people usually react with sadness when someone they know passes away whether it was from natural causes or suicide.

Will my suicide be unexpected? As in will it be a spontaneous act? No. I know that I'm gonna CTB especially now that my 30th birthday is coming. I made a resolve to die before I reach 30. And I know what my cause of death will be.

 

[death137]

My family will be devastated but I don't think it will be a big surprise.

 

[demuic]

I don't know. I've made my suicidal thoughts known. I've had an "attempt." So hopefully it won't be. There's no life left in me to go on.

 

[Scribble Fan]

My family has never really tried to support or understand me, so yes. I think my suicide will surprise them.

 

[hahabye]

I feel very similar. Allowing others to see my true feelings and emotions is a huge no-no. I tend to hide behind my sense of humor, so most people think that I am a very happy person.

So my suicide will definitely be unexpected. My mom just recently told me that she's so glad I am doing so well, unlike [this very depressed, low functioning person]. That felt very ironic, given that my ctb date is this summer.

I think others around me will be surprised but still might think it makes sense given that I've recently started to completely isolate myself. Apart from the isolation, I am trying to do my best to hide the fact that I am going to be dead soon - don't want to risk someone finding out and trying to "save" me.

 

[S like Siren]

My family knows but they couldn't care less in fact they think I'm not capable of killing me (and they are right, I have failed in this too) and therefore they are calm about this.if I really succeeded I don't know if they would be surprised but I think not ... they would say "It was time"

 

[loopylou]

Nope!

 

[scorpiozier]

i haven't opened up a ton about how much worse my mental health has gotten in the last few years, although suicide has always been an option on the table for me-- i think it probably will be a surprise to most people

 

[WornOutLife]

All my family knows I'm suicidal but they think I'm fully recovered now.

However, if I ctb, I think they will be broken-hearted but deep down in their hearts they would be like "I knew this might happen..."

 

[Largeletters]

I don't think so, though I think most of my family thinks I'm better now. I have been very candid about my thoughts in the past. Unfortunately I think this is the path I have been destined to take. I've been fucked since I was born.

 

[Celerity]

No. My immediate family knows I have considered it. I don't know if that's better or worse.

 

[nolongerhuman]

I don't think it's going to be a surprise to anyone who actually knows me. The closer they are, the more that they'll probably see it coming.

 

[littleloup]

I don't believe my will be unexpected to those in my inner circle, such as my immediate family. I've been struggling with my mental health since I was a child and have attempted a couple of times in the past. But I think they believe I'm becoming better, more happier, so maybe they will be those who half-expected it but still takes them by surprise.

 

[ClownMe]

i would like to think it would be expected but then again my family are completely oblivious to everything so it'd probably be unexpected.

 

[ori4kun]

my will be unexpected , theres some friends who would not be so shocked, but in my whole life I've only talked about how I feel to 3 people , and I Intend to cut ties before doing something,I don't want to make people feel bad ,I really want all my friends to live a happy life,so I already disable all social medias months before I accually do something,trying to get to a point where the minimum number of people possible will hear of my death ,since we don't work together anymore and don't live in the same city

 

[Wrennie]

Everyone in my immediate and extended family, including friends & a few acquaintances know that I'm suicidal. It's impossible to hide it since I jumped off a building.

 

[Pookie]

No, maybe some people will be shocked but not my immediate family. I've even discussed Pegasos with them and they know I've already become a member, so no surprises there.

 

[Bullit]

Yes. It will come as a total shock to me.

 

[Grave]

I mean I'm very open to my friends about my mental health, and my family knows because I'm involved with mental health services, but I feel like my parents would still be like "oh no, what a surprisingly tragic death, who could have predicted this, we did all we did to stop it but I guess he was just too ill" and some bullshit like that because they're dicks.

My friends on the other hand, I don't think they'd be surprised per say, maybe shocked? Like I've ended up in hospital after suicide attempts before, but I think they'd be surprised that I landed a successful attempt because they see my attempts more as a cry for help than actually trying to kill myself.

 

[lofticries]

Well my parents wouldn't be shocked one bit considering they've known i've been depressed since 6. They pretty much agree that i've never been happy. lol.

I don't talk to any of my fam much but I don't think they'd be surprised either since i don't come across as someone who enjoys life.

 

[Sra_TZ]

My family doesn't really care but I've tried my best to mentally prepare my best friend for the inevitable end. I know she'll be hurt but I don't think it will be unexpected. Even then, I don't know if she'll be capable of accepting it. *sighs*

 

[112]

Yes and no.

I jumped off a bridge 5 years ago and survived. The psychiatrist who assessed me knew me already on a first-name basis. We spoke for a while, talked about a bit of stuff over maybe 30 minutes, and then toward the end of our conversation she said she was certain I was going to die (of suicide). She said of all the people she had evaluated over the 90 days before my admission,--reiterating that this is a big number of people,--she considered me the most likely to end up dead. Then she let me go LOL. In -> out same day. Granted it's been 5 years, but I still don't think she'd be surprised to find out I croaked. And I think a lot of other people who've known me wouldn't be surprised to find out either: other doctors, nurses, people I've worked with (as a client) in some capacity. I don't think my friends would be surprised and I don't think my family would either.

But unexpected? Oh yes. Nobody's going to know it's coming. I'm not interested in another psych ward stay or being found and kept alive with brain damage.

 

[Celerity]

Yes and no.

I jumped off a bridge 5 years ago and survived. The psychiatrist who assessed me knew me already on a first-name basis. We spoke for a while, talked about a bit of stuff over maybe 30 minutes, and then toward the end of our conversation she said she was certain I was going to die (of suicide). She said of all the people she had evaluated over the 90 days before my admission,--reiterating that this is a big number of people,--she considered me the most likely to end up dead. Then she let me go LOL. In -> out same day. Granted it's been 5 years, but I still don't think she'd be surprised to find out I croaked. And I think a lot of other people who've known me wouldn't be surprised to find out either: other doctors, nurses, people I've worked with (as a client) in some capacity. I don't think my friends would be surprised and I don't think my family would either.

But unexpected? Oh yes. Nobody's going to know it's coming. I'm not interested in another psych ward stay or being found and kept alive with brain damage.

Wow. I'm surprised a psychiatrist was that candid.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

My decline happened very gradually over the course of months and years. Not even I noticed that something was changing until it was too late. Because the changes in my behavior came so slow and gradual, the people in my life became easily accustomed to my new self. They probably just think that my weird behavior is due to personality quirks.

I kept my unhappiness to myself because I can't stand the thought of other people knowing about my mental state. It's a very visceral aversion. It's so intense that for some time it silenced my suicidal thoughts, because if I killed myself then everyone would know I was unhappy. But now I comfort myself with the fact that I won't be around to witness all that.

No one knows what's going on. I will be one of those cases where they say "it came out of nowhere" and from their perspective it's true. I am painfully aware of the fact that they will be completely and utterly unprepared. But I guess suicide is never pretty.

Absolutely not.

I attempt all the time.

 

[The Lonely]

By "surprise" … Does hypocrisy counts??

Because my "folks" are Waiting for me to go…

I will leave Only One note, and it will be like:

(…)"Please, spare me from the circus of arranging a funeral in my name, since you guys already used me for years at your sick Münchausen by proxy behavior; (Which together with your total lack of empathy and even humanity lead me into CTB)!
So: Enough!!! No Funeral!
Don't even dare touching my name!!

Thank you. And Welcome."