Will you be here in 2026

[Galam]

I don't want to. I wanted to die with 10 and wanted to be dead already but I am still awake in this shitty room with noise from neighbours and other stupid neighbours that discriminate me because of my apparance. I was not out since months after I was attacked by police ad mental health workers and abused in asylum I am even more now seen as ill and so I need to use delivery. I just have my mother who brings me rarely food at my door and she is older. Maybe she dies soon or is dead since yesterday then I have nobody. I am full of anger not really sadness. I see how my life could have been better than this. I am also angry that they won't give me justice and a care assistance. Nobody can really like me because I have disabilities and I am always see as ugly. I had a very bad life for western standards maybe eve for poverty third world standards because I never had someone who liked me and supported me. That I was not raped really was just luck imo and I had the privilege to find a shitty place so I can hide from attackers.

I am like those wesps somehow who just can live in a hole. If a wesp is attacked too often outside she tries to protect herself and hides in a hole but if nobody gives her food she starves.

Life is so disgusting. I am sorry about so many animals who are in pain and all the women who have similare issues as me. I am sad I never meet them. I was always alone because normal people see me as ugly and dumb. Many of these breeders are just cruel, if they would not exist I never would have suffered. I would either not be born or would be in very different environment with people similar to me.

Maybe I survive until dec this year. I wanted to see Predator Badlands in nov and Dead of Winter with Emma Thompson.

 

[waistcoat]

i severely doubt it. but i also thought that about 2025 so who knows atp

 

[Galam]

I believe so. My method is within reaching distance, but inaccessible. I know a local place that sells what I need, but I need a membership of sorts to get it, and even if I sold everything I own I still couldn't afford the sign on fee. There is one way around this, but it would be incriminating and I won't take someone down with me.

I won't be less vague, sorry to anyone that would like me to be. I should have acquired it when I still could have.

I am also exploring an interesting type of "love" currently. It's very honest. I'd like to see where it goes. I feel guilty about this, knowing I could leave in 5 years or 5 days. But I believe I will be around for a while, unless impulsivity wins.

I wish I could have a woman for love too, since I am older I have this longing it is one of the reasons why I have suicidal thoughts. It is mostly samesex but this is not even the worst thing, it is I have disabilities. I am seen as ugly otherwise I would have some women interested in me for sure. Katy O Brian is pretty and found a woman to rub. It is very sad, I found one with similar hands and the body would have been perfect (maybe a little too fat but otherwise good) but she found me ugly and dumb and she has a ill mind. She was just a simple pick-me who cares about status.

 

[lasttogo]

I wish I could have a woman for love too, since I am older I have this longing it is one of the reasons why I have suicidal thoughts. It is mostly samesex but this is not even the worst thing, it is I have disabilities. I am seen as ugly otherwise I would have some women interested in me for sure. Katy O Brian is pretty and found a woman to rub. It is very sad, I found one with similar hands and the body would have been perfect (maybe a little too fat but otherwise good) but she found me ugly and dumb and she has a ill mind. She was just a simple pick-me who cares about status.

I am pretty jaded with love too. I have PTSD and every relationship I have been in has been a disaster. I am gay, but for some reason I attract "straight" men who don't want to come out of the closet. I think it might be a curse. My mental illness also makes me a good target for abuse, because I fawn. I was bullied for being ugly a lot growing up, so if it helps you are at least not alone lol.

A lot of my reason to go is loneliness too. That's part of the reason I decided to finally join this forum. More recently my loneliness has shifted from wanting a romantic love, to wanting friends. I went out last night with my guy, and he had so many friends at the place we went to. They all were so happy to see him. I don't have anyone like that, except for him. And one day I'm sure he will become a stranger to me too. I'm not sure anything will get better for any of us here, but hopefully this made you feel a little less alone.

 

[already_dying]

Probably, I'm trying one more treatment for my depression before I ctb and assuming it doesn't work sometime in 2026 is the most realistic timeline for me

 

[tapetum_lucidum]

I hope not. But I'm a coward, so I probably will.

I'd say it's 50-50, it depends on how exponentially shit my life becomes

Sabitsuki pfp :3

 

[TAW122]

Ideally, I would not be. However, there are always things unknown and hopefully 2025 will be my last year of sentience and go out on my own terms. Again, only time and circumstance will tell.

 

[nuva]

probably not, if everything goes as planned

 

[enough of this]

With what's going on in the world these days, I don't know that ANY of us will be. This insanity is enough to make ANYBODY want to CTB.

 

[tend a dead garden]

Depends on external factors, mostly on if my benefits claim ends. If that occurs ot will cause a "cascade of fuckery " which would end with me being homeless.
Fuck that, before I would be on the streets again I would be either a hanging corpse or an opiate soaked carcass....or the world could go my way and I will trudle on into 2026.
Here's hoping...(but for contuined existence or death...I really cannot tell anymore!)

 

[Freedombus'25]

Like this rn? HELL. NAH. With things changed hmmm sure.

I wouldn't mind going into 2026 with hope that's realistic to keep fighting for.

 

[InTheAbyss]

I hope not. But I've been saying this is my last year for several years now. So hopefully this year is the year or early next year at the latest.