Will using partial hanging as self harm cause permanent damage?

[soributton]

One of my few desires in this world is to end my own and suffering. However every time I have my head in a noose for full suspension I can't get myself to step off my chair. Even with alcohol I always end up thinking of my boyfriend before I can do it and that always makes me step down. I know I can't get myself to commit if he's still alive even if all I want is to die. Im so afraid that after my passing he'll find and marry someone new.

I don't have access to any other effective methods, so hanging is always on my mind. It's all I can think about and all I want to do. I've been tying up my noose and pressing down in it while kneeling with me inside just to temporarily satisfy that urge. But I always have my hands around the rope to undo it if it ever gets to tight.

Every time I do that I feel fine completely after. It's the next day when I feel it. I can't focus in my lectures because I'm always gagging and feeling like I'm going to throw up. Swallowing feels funny. I can still feel the pressure around my neck where I had the rope and how tight I had it around me. My head feels light and I get black spots in my vision. I just hope that this habit doesn't give me long lasting negative effects on me.

 

[scary]

yea that's probably not a good idea in the long run, if I were you I'd stop unless you were doing hanging for good, as in CTB. Brain damage is always a possibility with this kind of thing. Do you have any other ways to relieve the feeling of wanting to harm yourself? like just cutting or the rubber band method for example? It's still self harm at the end of the day but it's not as bad as choking yourself with rope and having these symptoms after.

 

[absolute failure]

yes if you stop bloodflow to your brain for a couple seconds and then get saved you can end up with blood clots, paralysis, brain damage, maybe even death.

 

[Kayla]

I tried partial hanging and burst all the blood vessels in my eyes, and lost eyesight and now I have to wear glasses

 

[l1ablemistakes]

I've been doing the same and managed to avoid symptoms, beside the pressure, but I had that before I started simply because I'd imagine it so much. Do you have any bruising? Any chance it's psychological? But yeah, definitely sounds like your brain doesnt like being deprived of oxygen.

 

[DungEater]

Can't imagine its great for your brain