Have you read the thread about "non methods that shouldn't be tried"?
Drug ODs are highly unlikely to get you where you're trying to go
(13-14% success).
On top of that you have a high risk of surviving but with physical disabilities that amount to more suffering.
If it was me I wouldn't even consider it.
No judgement. I hope you are able to find the peace that you deserve
Warning: long answer:
I know about this, I just hope that the combo will kill me. All of the listed substances on their own wouldn't kill me, but combined they push each other quite good.
The only thing is that it would be better to have more GBL (I only have around 15ml), and perhaps more opiates. I definitely have more than enough benzos and sleeping pills.
The reason why I didn't order more GBL is that the more you try to chug at once, the harder it becomes to chug and keep it down. I don't want to test the limit of the antiemetic too much.
Luckily, the line between "safe use" and deadly overdose on GBL is very easily crossed (luckily for my purpose).
Even more than 3ml GBL at once is already considered very dangerous, and I've experienced this multiple times in the past. I passed out for hours, and a girl ordered Pizza for me. The delivery guy couldn't wake me up, I was totally unconscious. And it was maybe around 3ml, I don't know for certain.
One attempt which was stupid because I only took GBL (no combination), and there wasn't enough juice to compensate for the nasty, acidic taste.
Still, I just managed to form my last thoughts "forgive me Jesus" to maybe avoid hell before passing out like from anesthesia before an operation. Then, I was passed out all night in the woods of Austria in the Tirol region (alpine mountains). It was warm.
When I woke up I felt very sick to my stomach, because I didn't have any antiemetic (now I have a lot). I didn't know who I was or where I was. It was like I just was born or something. I just saw trees while slowly gaining conciouseness and had no clue what was going on really. Just after regaining my consciousness fully in the morning when the sun rose, I figured out what happened.
I need to be able to chug this cocktail down as fast as possible (the mixture that I described in the original post, not in this reply. I need to be thirsty and I hope that 750ml of juice will be enough.
I don't want to use more than the 15ml of GBL, and it would be hard to get more anyway because I don't live in my apartment anymore, I'm staying in an Airbnb, which is also an apartment for myself, but I can't receive mail here (I order from darknet markets).
But the vast amount of benzos and sleeping pills which are not acidic and fairy easy to drink when I grind the pills into powder and mix it into nice orange juice, it should compensate for the "lack" of GBL and oxycodone (it's still an big amount, 15ml GBL and 40mgx10 Oxy, so 400mg oxy).
I would say that my chances of dying are significantly higher than 10-15%, because of the amount and mixture of the different depressants. That's just my opinion. I've heard where people died from 10ml GBL alone, no other substances.
When you compare this to my list of substances (the isotonitazene which has a Bio-aviability of over 90% in the rectum, compared to an very low Bio- availability when taken orally), I see that I have more of an chance to die than to survive this.
For example, isotonitazene is stronger than fentanyl and the first time when I put my smallest finger in to the baggie with the powder and into my mouth, I was so scared of passing out and dying. 2 other people who wanted to try it out too (after I warned them that it's extremely potent and life-threatening when too much is taken), they also dipped their smallest finger into the powder, took an really small amount orally, and both vomitted because it's ridiculously strong. That gave me the confidence that it really is what it claimed to be from the vendor on the darknet market. He had good reviews on his "products", I'm always looking at that.
The Bio- availability orally is, I think around 5%? Compare this to the over 90% rectally and that it wouldn't be an small amount, but around 400mg. The only things that could go wrong is that isotonitazene looses potency over time. It shouldn't, because it's an pharmaceutical product, and synthetic opioids usually last a long time, and Isotonitazene is an synthetic opioid which was discovers in the 1960's by an swiss pharmaceutical company. It was disregarded because it was way too strong for any medical use.
The second thing is that I could screw up is the rectal administration. I bought syringes without a needle and lube to insert it into my bumhole, and then just press the trigger (sort of). This is why I might do 300mg rectally and 100mg orally.
Everyone knows how easily fentanyl can kill someone, and this is up to 50x stronger than fentanyl. It's even easier to get isotonitazene than fent on the darknet, because fentanyl got this "reputation", gains more negative attention, while nitazenes in general are more of an underdog, under the radar. The vendor who selled me the isotonitazene in the beginning of May this year, claimed in his description that this is 500x or even more potent that average heroine, so only for "veteran users". My eyes were shining when I read this.
Ok, I'm done now. If you've read everything to this point, sorry for writing so much. I just like to talk to someone, and usually my whole life, if someone was talking to me instead of ignoring or hating/bullying me, they talked like 95% of the time and I just listened.
When I'm online and writing, I can write as much as I want and it's an relief to be able to speak and not just to listen.
Problem is, that it's survival of the fittest. It's my problem, because I don't have mental or muscle power to survive. Without a father figure and a psycho mum who didn't have friends or a job, she just abused me emotionally and no one cared. No teacher, and when I was 10 years old I even went to the police, they didn't care. Only after my first suicide attempt when I was 14 years old, those fuckers started to care a bit, but not really. That's why the department for children and teenagers got horrible reviews from other adults on Google maps. I hope they burn in hell. Not forever, but a little bit. Then they can enter non-existence forever.
