Will my child also CTB if I do it?

[BrainSplatter]

I've heard that if a parent commits suicide that their child will also do the same? How true is that had it been researched? I have a young child and I want to have them voluntarily adopted before I CTB I've got the documents but still yet to sign them this isn't a quick decision but I know it's for the best but it still hurts. I already had them placed in foster care to protect them from me I'd neglected and abused them and it destroys me that I have I guess it's true what they say 'the abused become the abusers'.

 

[Pale_Rider]

I have heard that it lays a firm foundation in their mind.

 

[EmptyBottle]

It does increase the chances of CTB, but doesn't guarantee it:

Parental Suicide Linked to Higher Suicide Risk for Children

The experience of a parental suicide can foster feelings of shame and guilt within a child, worsening their mental health and tripling the likelihood of death by suicide.

www.psychologytoday.com

Reaching age at which parent died by suicide increases suicide risk among offspring

People who lost a parent to suicide face a higher risk of suicide or self-harm themselves when they reach the age their parent lived to, finds a new study led by UCL researchers.

www.ucl.ac.uk

 

[Forever Sleep]

I imagine it will partly depend on what kind of life they now have. If they are lucky enough to now have people who give them love and support. But, I don't think that's something anyone can know for sure. I imagine knowing that a parent took their own life means it's more acceptable to contemplate though.

 

[darksouls]

I am so sorry you have to go through all this,
however you decide,
I wish you the best, I hope you find the peace you desire

 

[Dejected 55]

IF you have a genetic disorder or predisposition for suicidal thoughts, then it would be likely your offspring would as well... then, if you have a child at home who is aware of you committing suicide it can affect them and later in life as they face difficulty they think back to your suicide it might make their decision easier.

But it isn't an automatic thing like if you like pizza your kid will like pizza too... it's just part of what influences behavior like anything else between a parent and child.

 

[Suizid]

Sorry if i'm rude but that's the exact reason why i don't want to have Kids. Not everyone should reproduce. Making a child should be regulated. Even for fishing you need a license.

 

[itsgone2]

Sorry if i'm rude but that's the exact reason why i don't want to have Kids. Not everyone should reproduce. Making a child should be regulated. Even for fishing you need a license.

It's not rude. I had no idea of all these issues when I had a kid. I shouldn't have. But I had no idea. Everything was different then.

 

[unluckysadness]

Nobody knows what can happen in a such situation. Your child will be traumatized, then propably addict to drugs or suffer from anorexia / anxiety.
Wathever happens, suffering will never end. Until people decide to stop procreate. End of suffering = end of mankind

 

[BrainSplatter]

Sorry if i'm rude but that's the exact reason why i don't want to have Kids. Not everyone should reproduce. Making a child should be regulated. Even for fishing you need a license.

I never planned on having children because of my BPD and trauma but they were conceived through a rape I didn't find out until I was 4 months along even through I was in a psychiatric ward for the first 3 months no one had any idea they put me on 7 medications which is insane obviously when I found out about the pregnancy I felt horrible and even while pregnant I attempted to CTB so I was sectioned for my entire pregnancy in a psychiatric ward I was finally discharged to go and give birth at hospital but even then a staff member from the psych ward was made to stay with me. My child was taken from me 3 days after I'd given birth straight from the hospital I fought for years in court and things got better short while and eventually in 2024 I got full custody of my child but then things got worse for me I wasn't coping I was abusing substances shouting at my child it's sad but it re-traumatised me especially when they got to a certain age where they began to throw things bite and hit me it become way too overstimulating I'd be in a constant state of fight or flight I'd flinch at my own child and it was horrible I began shouting at them and it was like I was watching myself through my fathers eyes a few months ago when I was in withdrawal I had enough I couldn't cope and hit my own child I slapped them on the cheek the fear in their eyes haunts me the gut wrenching pain I felt was horrific that same day I called CPS and got them placed in foster care it scares me I have to protect them from me I have to be better than my father and stepmom.. it could take months of court proceedings to have them adopted voluntarily and I'd need to voice my position to the court. I'm trying my best to hold on for that long I care about them and want the best for them then I can finally die in peace

 

[Cosmophobic]

i never planned on having children because of my BPD and trauma but they were conceived through a rape I didn't find out until I was 4 months along even through I was in a psychiatric ward for the first 3 months no one had any idea they put me on 7 medications which is insane obviously when I found out about the pregnancy I felt horrible and even while pregnant I attempted to CTB so I was sectioned for my entire pregnancy in a psychiatric ward I was finally discharged to go and give birth at hospital but even then a staff member from the psych ward was made to stay with me. My child was taken from me 3 days after I'd given birth straight from the hospital I fought for years in court and things got better short while and eventually in 2024 I got full custody of my child but then things got worse for me I wasn't coping I was abusing substances shouting at my child it's sad but it re-traumatised me especially when they got to a certain age where they began to throw things bite and hit me it become way too overstimulating I'd be in a constant state of fight or flight I'd flinch at my own child and it was horrible I began shouting at them and it was like I was watching myself through my fathers eyes a few months ago when I was in withdrawal I had enough I couldn't cope and hit my own child I slapped them on the cheek the fear in their eyes haunts me the gut wrenching pain I felt was horrific that same day I called CPS and got them placed in foster care it scares me I have to protect them from me I have to be better than my father and stepmom I won't let history repeat itself

Jesus Christ that's awful. You've been through worse hells than most people care to even imagine.

 

[Suizid]

I never planned on having children because of my BPD and trauma but they were conceived through a rape I didn't find out until I was 4 months along even through I was in a psychiatric ward for the first 3 months no one had any idea they put me on 7 medications which is insane obviously when I found out about the pregnancy I felt horrible and even while pregnant I attempted to CTB so I was sectioned for my entire pregnancy in a psychiatric ward I was finally discharged to go and give birth at hospital but even then a staff member from the psych ward was made to stay with me. My child was taken from me 3 days after I'd given birth straight from the hospital I fought for years in court and things got better short while and eventually in 2024 I got full custody of my child but then things got worse for me I wasn't coping I was abusing substances shouting at my child it's sad but it re-traumatised me especially when they got to a certain age where they began to throw things bite and hit me it become way too overstimulating I'd be in a constant state of fight or flight I'd flinch at my own child and it was horrible I began shouting at them and it was like I was watching myself through my fathers eyes a few months ago when I was in withdrawal I had enough I couldn't cope and hit my own child I slapped them on the cheek the fear in their eyes haunts me the gut wrenching pain I felt was horrific that same day I called CPS and got them placed in foster care it scares me I have to protect them from me I have to be better than my father and stepmom.. it could take months of court proceedings to have them adopted voluntarily and I'd need to voice my position to the court. I'm trying my best to hold on for that long I care about them and want the best for them then I can finally die in peace

That sounds terrible and i hope things get better. Sometimes life is a bitch. Do you have grand parents to help you with this Situation? Giving your child to random people should be the last straw, fester parents are sometimes pretty Bad people but not always

 

[BrainSplatter]

That sounds terrible and i hope things get better. Sometimes life is a bitch. Do you have grand parents to help you with this Situation? Giving your child to random people should be the last straw, fester parents are sometimes pretty Bad people but not always

Sadly, I don't have anyone I can trust. My mum's parents have both passed away, and I could never leave my child with my dad's parents - they abused him so badly. My grandmother still talks about it as if it were normal she even jokes about how her thumb is crooked because she used to beat her children so much. No one is born an abuser - they're made. She was beaten by her father and she went on to do the same to her own kids so the cycle just keeps repeating there isn't a single person in my family I'd feel safe leaving my child with so I don't really have any other choice but to consider adoption.

 

[Suizid]

Sadly, I don't have anyone I can trust. My mum's parents have both passed away, and I could never leave my child with my dad's parents - they abused him so badly. My grandmother still talks about it as if it were normal she even jokes about how her thumb is crooked because she used to beat her children so much. No one is born an abuser - they're made. She was beaten by her father and she went on to do the same to her own kids so the cycle just keeps repeating there isn't a single person in my family I'd feel safe leaving my child with so I don't really have any other choice but to consider adoption.

Im really sorry for the cards your dealt. You can still turn your life around for the better, you know? If not for you then do it for your child. You can still ctb when your kid doesnt rely on you that much anymore and maybe moved out. Till then just try your hardest to be a good mother. Your child will see that your trying to be better atleast and im sure he will forgive you for beating him

 

[BrainSplatter]

Following my post from yesterday:

Today I finally signed the documents to have my son adopted I was holding them for 10 days+ and only today I could do it. Almost instantly I feel so much relief not just mentally but in my body too I was holding so much tension in my body I feel so light and somewhat energetic I'm getting closer to CTB now I just have to hold my position to the court that would take months but before I CTB I want my kid to be in a safe permanent home with adopters but in some government care home I don't trust my wishes will be respected and deal with according so I must keep holding on until permanence is found. I feel somewhat move motivated now to keep following my plan like before it was painful now I have strong urges to get things in order as soon as possible so I can CTB. So there's my update feel free to comment but I'm also just writing this as my own kinda journal to vent

 

[NegevChina]

Following my post from yesterday:

Today I finally signed the documents to have my son adopted I was holding them for 10 days+ and only today I could do it. Almost instantly I feel so much relief not just mentally but in my body too I was holding so much tension in my body I feel so light and somewhat energetic I'm getting closer to CTB now I just have to hold my position to the court that would take months but before I CTB I want my kid to be in a safe permanent home with adopters but in some government care home I don't trust my wishes will be respected and deal with according so I must keep holding on until permanence is found. I feel somewhat move motivated now to keep following my plan like before it was painful now I have strong urges to get things in order as soon as possible so I can CTB. So there's my update feel free to comment but I'm also just writing this as my own kinda journal to vent

I hope things will be OK with your son.
Unfortunately, I know just how you feel. I have 2 sons ages 20 and 24. I know I'm going to CTB soon, I've struggled all my life with PTSD, it wasnt so bad when I was younger, and I've managed to give them a good childhood. My 24 year old son is a student at the university, has a fiance and is going to be married in about a year. I think he will survive my CTB, I'm just so worried about my younger 20 year old. They do have a wonderful mother but Its torturing me. I never knew I would deteriorate so badly and reach this stage.

 

[android]

It's not rude. I had no idea of all these issues when I had a kid. I shouldn't have. But I had no idea. Everything was different then.

Wow, it's nice that you recognise that.
What changed?

 

[itsgone2]

Wow, it's nice that you recognise that.
What changed?

First, this was pre 9/11. Not that things were perfect but it's hard to describe the mindset then.
I started typing out a long list of things, but no point to it. Things are just toxic and divided and worsening conditions everywhere you look. The world changed quick.