will it hurt them that much

[blush]

will it hurt my parents that much.. i'm so miserable. please tell me how bad it will be if i end this suffering . i feel selfish for thinking about it, i mean, reality is just unbearable glass shards to me over and over and over and over. i feel nauseous just thinking about myself and my selfishness

 

[whyidon'tknow]

It will likely destroy apart of them to lose a child. They will be forever changed. A child isnt supposed to die before the parent. Its ugly, but its true. Sending you some love and kindness

 

[charlavail]

will it hurt them? absolutely. Will they still continue to live their lives? most likely. I had a cousin die of a freak accident a couple of years ago at the age of 20 and while they still hurt they're living their lives. his siblings are still in college, finishing their degrees, traveling, living in different cities. his parents are sad but also still travel, his dad just had a big party for his 50th with a ton of friends. this is the kind of stuff i see and i think "yes, it might hurt people. but they will still move on, and eventually i'll just be a small memory."

 

[CleanGopher]

It will likely destroy apart of them to lose a child. They will be forever changed. A child isnt supposed to die before the parent. It's ugly, but it's true. Sending you some love and kindness

Just in my personal experience my mom gives little to no empathy, she literally mocked me telling me I was suicidal when I was fucking 15, which lead me to spiral and (so smartly) went online and trusted ppl to which I got groomed.. oh yea and why was I suicidal? Because kids in my gym class which then were all the same classes as me in school at that time were bullying me and tormenting me, which yea ik it was stupid for me to care but at the same time I was super anxious, paranoid and sensitive. I like helping people and that's the issue, help the wrong people and you'll regret it. So now I don't give a flying fuck what my parents think about my death, like my mom was also raped and went through a sabotage phase just like me you think she would be sympathetic but no, no support. I can care less about what other people think now especially when it comes to mental health and wellbeing, no normal ass person has a fucked up happiness baseline like me , It's my fault for reaching out in the first place, no one will understand or care enough to give a shit and I don't expect anyone to, being accepted or not doesn't matter anyways. Only I can experience my feelings and accept them as what they are and if that comes with the cause of my death than so be it, I don't care if my inevitable death ruins others lives, it's there fault for not caring enough to understand and it's my fault for having false hope towards people who are self-centered.

Now though.. instead of wanting acceptance, I'd rather hide my emotions and never tell anyone about them, because in that way I have control.

I know I'm a good person and I deserve better.. but I'm sick of begging for acceptance and care when it should already be there, if it comes to it and I'm missed I don't care and I'm not speaking up b/c it's just another opportunity for my parents to fuck with me and say I'm crazy, sure I'll try and do my best to better myself but if nothing works out that's cool too it'll just be my plan b in life

 

[BradGuy123]

Losing a child is the worst kind of loss imaginable. To say they would be devastated is an understatement. They would never get over it.