Will I go to hell?

[Ayeitsalaska]

I've been on this website for over a year now. I have not engaged with the community. Been on and off about suicide for the following reasons
-Accessibility to a reliable method
-I have poor reading comprehension so I don't understand the mega thread, no one will help me understand the information so I haven't been able to figure out a reliable method
-Fear of failing

I've lived a very painful life due to mental illness from a young age. I simply don't want to exist. I don't want my consciousness to exist. I want to end my life so my consciousness will cease to exist. I fear of failing 1. and 2. i fear of an afterlife existing and me being punished just for my will not exist.
I'm also scared to do this. I'm scared to leave my family. I'm scared of what would happen next.
I feel immense emotional pain and I don't want to live in a world where i'm so vunreable to pain and suffering and where I don't feel I belong or can connect to people.
I feel really lonely, I feel like I barely have any friends I feel like a black sheep, a loser, a failure.
I worked for all 2019 and saved my money to afford to travel now i'm realizing I won't be happy, I'll just carry my lowliness and pain with me wherever I go.
I'm hesitant to kill myself but I want to end my conciousness.
I want to end my conciousness more than anything - to have no subjective awareness - to be nothing - nonexistent
im scared of an afterlife
i just want there to be peace, nothingness.
i have a plan to kill myself, sadly i dont understand the information here due to my poor reading comprehension and people won't help me understand because it's considered spoon feeding information so the only certain way i can commit suicide is a painful way but i am thinking of buying a weighted vest. handcuffing myself behind my back and jumping into the ocean i have a pier that i can jump off of. i know it will be painful but what are moments of pain compared to a lifetime of pain?

 

[Rossrossross]

You will not go to hell. Heaven and Hell are a construct to motivate people. I hope you can beleive me. In my opinion, there is something greater than ourselves, and our consciousness does go on after death, but if anything, heaven and hell is here in our life. Through your growing consciousness in several lifetimes you will learn the lessons you need to learn to eventually have no suffering. Im not telling you to do anything rash, but the concept of heaven and hell become more and more outdated as time progresses. The collective consciousness and ego-death. These are things i would look into if i were you

 

[Ayeitsalaska]

can i just stop existing?

 

[Wayfaerer]

can i just stop existing?

Hell isn't real so you have nothing to worry about.

 

[Ayeitsalaska]

what will happen when i die?

 

[NotSoComfortablyNumb]

what will happen when i die?

What will happen is you will be at peace. However there are no second chances. So never do it on impulse. I'm prochoice so by all means I'm not discouraging or encouraging you. Just saying be sure of what you want. And no one truly knows. So if that's the risk you'll take then go with love and be light x

 

[zeroambition]

"Religious leaders sometimes tell people that suicide is an unforgivable sin leading to eternal damnation in hell. This is not what the NDE reveals. NDEs do describe life as being an inescapable learning experience. Suicide prevents this learning experience from being completed. Experiencers describe hell as being a temporary spiritual condition rather than a permanent place of torture."

Inescapable learning experience... That's my definition of hell!

 

[Verklempt]

what will happen when i die?

We would never certainly know.

 

[k75]

what will happen when i die?

The only people who know the answer to that are dead and can't tell us.

But I don't believe you'll go to hell. I think we made that up.

 

[Soul]

As someone much smarter than me has noted, there's no way any of us finite beings could do anything deserving of infinite suffering as punishment. (((Hugs)))

 

[Farmmaa]

Hell is nothing but a construct by religion to keep people in line through fear.
And, of course to keep them giving the church all of their money in order to prove how loyal they are to god so that they can be 'saved'.

So .. no, no one is going to hell. It's not real.

 

[Mizzmini45]

I feel we're already in hell. All that other stuff is just fairy tales.

 

[hatelife]

why dont ppl help u hello he is going to buy vest and do that, there are more painless method like mine ask me where I bought amitriptyline online

 

[Epsilon0]

Hell is just a construct, a human invention. Just because so many people believe it exists, and just because images of hell are deeply rooted into our culture and language, it doesn't make it real.

Not any more real then little green men who descend from the sky to build pyramids and draw Nazca lines in the desert.

I would not worry about it.

 

[hatelife]

a person on lipstick alley said it best, do u really believe like neanderthal men are chilling in heaven or hell? all those weird ppl from the past? I dont know

 

[k75]

why dont ppl help u hello he is going to buy vest and do that, there are more painless method like mine ask me where I bought amitriptyline online

It's difficult because we can't tell him how to hurt himself. There's a fine line you have to be careful not to cross. I feel really bad, but I'm not sure how to help without actually walking him through a suicide method, and I'm not comfortable doing anything like that.

The only advice I have is pick a method and slowly go through the resources. Take lots of notes that you can understand and ask questions if you need to.

 

[hatelife]

It's difficult because we can't tell him how to hurt himself. There's a fine line you have to be careful not to cross. I feel really bad, but I'm not sure how to help without actually walking him through a suicide method, and I'm not comfortable doing anything like that.

The only advice I have is pick a method and slowly go through the resources. Take lots of notes that you can understand and ask questions if you need to.

what if I told somebody on here where to buy SN and they later killed themselves with it, it happened. I was only trying to help, because she would have used a painful method maybe if not SN, I already told my therapist about this and she said thats her choice still because I did not force her, she made that decision herself?
I did feel bad but I also feel bad if somebody will kill themselves in a painful way and not painless, maybe I should have talked about it with them to try to make them stop to not kill themselves, but knowing how I feel I know nobody can talk me out of it.

 

[k75]

what if I told somebody on here where to buy SN and they later killed themselves with it, it happened. I was only trying to help, because she would have used a painful method maybe if not SN, I already told my therapist about this and she said thats her choice still because I did not force her, she made that decision herself?

I feel like this is more complex. It goes beyond giving a source and into the realm of assisting. Which is something we're specifically not allowed to do, and morally I don't feel comfortable with. I'll answer clarifying questions, but I'm not about to help like that.

 

[Final Escape]

highly doubt it

 

[Jean4]

Hell is basically a Judeo/Christian concept, and different religions look at it differently. Atheists do not believe in it at all.

Personally, I think I am living in hell now. When I die, I will be in paradise because I will be out of hell.

 

[hatelife]

dont be so sure there is no hell, like this earth after death, if we are here we could end up even worse by bad luck after life, who knows, we cant know, its up to us if what we choose. Im living in hell now yes, but some ppl have it even worse and animals, I feel so bad when I see ppl flew war and kids with no parents in syria war, I mean and here I am in sweden and have it all.

 

[Moonicide]

Aw, love... You won't go to hell for wanting and seeking peace. Hell is on earth, not in death. There's nothing wrong with wanting to not exist and wishing to be at peace. We all deserve that. May you be at peace and find the right method for you. You can always come and talk to us, we'll be here for you even during your final days. If you're scared, alone, hurt, etc. We're here and we're here to listen and support.

 

[Tortured_empath]

you will be at peace

Well no one really knows what happens when we die. Wil you be at peace? No one knows. Will you stop existing? No one knows. Is eternal nothingness equal to peace? No one knows.

Often times my fear and worry of death are rooted in something deeper, although it might not be for you. If peace is what you are looking for. I would urge you as much as I can to do literally everything that is in your power to aim for peace in this life; to persevere. Meds, therapy, exercise, benifits, new job, new country, new home; anything, everything. Because no one knows what happens when we die. I know this is a million times easier said than done.

The narrative that suicide = happiness or peace is straight up wrong. Because no one knows.

 

[hatelife]

Well no one really knows what happens when we die. Wil you be at peace? No one knows. Will you stop existing? No one knows. Is eternal nothingness equal to peace? No one knows.

Often times my fear and worry of death are rooted in something deeper, although it might not be for you. If peace is what you are looking for. I would urge you as much as I can to do literally everything that is in your power to aim for peace in this life; to persevere. Meds, therapy, exercise, benifits, new job, new country, new home; anything, everything. Because no one knows what happens when we die. I know this is a million times easier said than done.

The narrative that suicide = happiness or peace is straight up wrong. Because no one knows.

exactly, I dont think we realize what this really is. I think life can still be beautiful its like look up at the fucking starts like joe rogan said, how can u not believe in a God its so pretty. but alot of nastiness is here only on earth, we are like the devil, look at the rest of the universe so pretty

 

[DoNotLet2]

In my opinion there is no things such as good or bad. The Heaven and Hell were made up so people behave... Even if there are, why would suicide be considered a sin? I wish u peace.

 

[Roger]

Not any more real then little green men who descend from the sky to build pyramids and draw Nazca lines in the desert.

Where are all the little green women ?

a person on lipstick alley said it best, do u really believe like neanderthal men are chilling in heaven or hell? all those weird ppl from the past? I dont know

And Neanderthal women.

 

[jgm63]

@Ayeitsalaska

Is there any reason why your PM is disabled ?
I wanted to see if someone could help you with your reading comprehension issues.

Maybe someone could write a summary version of one of the threads, so it's easier read.
Please PM me if you wanted some help with that.

 

[Hollow]

@Ayeitsalaska All the good girls go to hell

 

[Hopeindeath!]

There are several afterlife threads you can read with just about every viewpoint there is on the subject. Many people don't believe in God, Heaven or Hell, and I respect their choice. I do believe in God, and that there is a Heaven and a Hell. It's important to search for the answer yourself whether God exists, or if there is a Heaven or a Hell. Don't just take someone's word for it.

 

[EmptyArms]

Hi Ayeitsalaska,

I'm so sorry you are suffering like this.

Perhaps someone can help you with your reading comprehension.

Is there a way that makes written instructions easier for you to absorb?
By the way, I dont believe a loving god would let anyone go to hell.