So I'm addicted to xanax, but i still have a lot more of it than it would take to 'overdose'(technically it's almost impossible to overdose fatally solely on benzos). Keeping that in mind the sedating/calming effect will be lessened, but it's still the best thing i got - if i use alcohol or something else i risk fatal complications from interactions. Generally I'm a coward and there's just no way i'll be able to do it without some help - and my method is to catch a train, literally.
I think there is something wrong with my brain. No matter how bad things get i never attempted ctb. No matter if i'm in unbearable pain, i just can't do it. I always end up running around doctors, having panic attacks, and overall acting pathetically. There is no hope for me out of this situation, it doesnt matter what anyone thinks, i know that, but logic doesnt work for me when it comes to dying. If things stay like this i will just end up in a mental ward, prison, homeless, hospital, well if im really lucky i could die from some physical illness or accident, but there are no other options. So I can't just stand by and watch any longer.
I might have a little over a month left in this life until things will turn real ugly, optimistically speaking. I had some weird kind of panic attack at night, i thought my mind was gonna break. Weird nightmares lately, reality mixed with random torture. Physical problems have been affecting me mentally in an extreme way, the damage is probably much worse than i even feel now, i might really get a psychosis from stress or something else.
I think there is something wrong with my brain. No matter how bad things get i never attempted ctb. No matter if i'm in unbearable pain, i just can't do it. I always end up running around doctors, having panic attacks, and overall acting pathetically. There is no hope for me out of this situation, it doesnt matter what anyone thinks, i know that, but logic doesnt work for me when it comes to dying. If things stay like this i will just end up in a mental ward, prison, homeless, hospital, well if im really lucky i could die from some physical illness or accident, but there are no other options. So I can't just stand by and watch any longer.
I might have a little over a month left in this life until things will turn real ugly, optimistically speaking. I had some weird kind of panic attack at night, i thought my mind was gonna break. Weird nightmares lately, reality mixed with random torture. Physical problems have been affecting me mentally in an extreme way, the damage is probably much worse than i even feel now, i might really get a psychosis from stress or something else.
