I'm going to kill myself soon and nobody knows. I guess my reasoning why is life has no meaning to me anymore or i guess it never had meaning in the first place. All my life I have always been the person nobody wants and I'm tired of it. I seen and experienced all this pain and suffering in the world and I don't want to continue on anymore. This depression is now affecting lives of the people around me and that is why I decided to finally do it this year. To stop everything and so no one has to deal with me anymore. Many people who know me know I say sorry a lot. So, I want my final words to be I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting this continue for as long as I did and I'm sorry that I gave up. I'm sorry I won't be able to see y'all anymore, but this is an end to a lot of pain i've buried inside.
I feel hopeless. I want to remember how it was to live as a kid happy and carefree. I don't enjoy life i don't even know if I've ever did. Everything I do is wrong and everybody hates me. I just know they are waiting for the day I'm gone, so they don't have to deal with me anymore. I bet when my casket is pulled in the ground everyone is going to have a big sigh of relief. I think about hurting myself constantly. I wish i could just stab myself or hit my head against the wall hard enough to hear my skull crack. I just don't want to live with this emptiness inside of me it's too painful.
I feel hopeless. I want to remember how it was to live as a kid happy and carefree. I don't enjoy life i don't even know if I've ever did. Everything I do is wrong and everybody hates me. I just know they are waiting for the day I'm gone, so they don't have to deal with me anymore. I bet when my casket is pulled in the ground everyone is going to have a big sigh of relief. I think about hurting myself constantly. I wish i could just stab myself or hit my head against the wall hard enough to hear my skull crack. I just don't want to live with this emptiness inside of me it's too painful.
