torimandy

torimandy

Fear is the mind killer
Aug 3, 2020
146
I continually try to find purpose. But, the purpose is only distraction. Nothing is going to change the conditions I live within in my lifetime, regardless of how hard I fight. I used to gain solace by being here, but now there is none anywhere. Nothing will change the fact that I will be alone until I die. Society is not going to accommodate my wants or my needs.

My plans are solid. They should work, but plans in the past that should have worked didn't. The only thing that goes through my head as I prepare is the feeling i had when I woke up from an attempt that should have been successful. I have no idea how to overcoe this and just get o with it.
 
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LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
2,170
All I have left are distractions too, and they hardly even do their job-in so far as distracting me from my suffering.

What have you attempted in the past?
What was the feeling you had when it was not successful? Were you upset?
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,145
I know that when everything seems hopeless, it can be the worst feeling. I also see no reason to go on as I live in misery. Distractions do not even help me at all really, nothing will ever make me feel better. I'm sorry you are in this situation. I can imagine it must be really frustrating failing an attempt. It really is so difficult to leave this world. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.
 
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