This is the most sadistic side of life. To have a SI so that one stays alive and so that one does not die. When we will end up dying one day.
We stay alive by force, because of the SI which puts sticks in our wheels. If we decide on CTB, there is the SI that arrives. Even if we suffer mentally every day, that we can't take it anymore, our brain still finds its last strength for the SI and to torture us even more.