K

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
I literally telling them I in constant mental anguish. I am so broken that can't be healed.
Why they want me to keep suffering? Why empathy ends here.
I supposed to ctb today but a couple of people read my rant and freaked out and pressured to give promises not to do it for some time.
They knew I am sucidal before.
Is it because taking about it considered a cry for help?
 
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one4all

one4all

I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
Feb 3, 2020
3,455
I literally telling them I in constant mental anguish. I am so broken that can't be healed.
Why they want me to keep suffering? Why empathy ends here.
I supposed to ctb today but a couple of people read my rant and freaked out and pressured to give promises not to do it for some time.
They knew I am sucidal before.
Is it because taking about it considered a cry for help?

I'm sorry you felt pressured into making promises.
I feel in most cases people just want you to make sure you know what you are doing and not going off on an impulse. Sometimes stepping back to see things differently helps, so times not.
I have know idea if talking about it is a cry for help or not. I in no way have any idea what truly goes on inside a persons head. Everyone is different.
All i can say is it is your life and i hope you find peace and happiness in what ever decision you make.
 
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Lady black

Lady black

35 male, central Europe, German speaking
Oct 22, 2018
1,192
It´s because they are selfish, they do not want to let you go, for them it´s easier if you suffer and you are still alive. And because they can´t understand that there can be problems that couldn´t be solved
 
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K

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
I'm sorry you felt pressured into making promises.
I feel in most cases people just want you to make sure you know what you are doing and not going off on an impulse. Sometimes stepping back to see things differently helps, so times not.
I have know idea if talking about it is a cry for help or not. I in no way have any idea what truly goes on inside a persons head. Everyone is different.
All i can say is it is your life and i hope you find peace and happiness in what ever decision you make.
It wasn't cry for help, at least that wasn't my intention, I just felt on the edge and wanted to feel something , anything , just not to be alone.
 
S

Swoods

Member
Apr 21, 2019
83
They may have made you make promises, however they are not you. You need to follow your own path. I am not saying to do it or not, I am just saying that you need to make yourself the priority for your own decision. I wish you peace and comfort.
 
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U

Ulisses

Arcanist
Feb 21, 2020
487
unfortunately we have to pretend we are happy, make promises to please them, if not you are considered crazy. mental anguish is horrible small memories become painful and repetitive. I know how it feels to send hugs.
 
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K

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
It´s because they are selfish, they do not want to let you go, for them it´s easier if you suffer and you are still alive. And because they can´t understand that there can be problems that couldn´t be solved
I can guarantee it's not easy for them, I feel like a horrible burden.
But maybe you are right and they really think I can be fixed (I am not)
 
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Lady black

Lady black

35 male, central Europe, German speaking
Oct 22, 2018
1,192
I think then they will never understand. But you have to think of you, it´s not possible to live cause other people want you to live. It´s better to make your own decision.
 
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one4all

one4all

I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
Feb 3, 2020
3,455
It wasn't cry for help, at least that wasn't my intention, I just felt on the edge and wanted to feel something , anything , just not to be alone.

That could be part of it. Maybe no one knew it was not your intention and tried to help you. Either way i hope talking with some people here helped you not feel so alone.
After all we are here to just listen also.
 
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nerve

nerve

fat cringey shut-in
Jun 19, 2019
1,013
I think it's because the people who care about us don't want to believe we're beyond help. It's a scary and helpless situation to be in. You hear people talk about how horrible it is to watch someone die of an illness like cancer or dementia, where you're completely powerless to the disease and there's nothing you can do to help. The difference when it's mental suffering is that it's easier for people to hold onto the illusion that they have some power over it or that something can be done to help. Like these people want us to do well and be happy and believe there's a way for us to make that happen.

It's infuriating when it comes across as them just choosing to not believe me or take my pain seriously.
 
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Quarky00

Quarky00

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2019
1,956
I supposed to ctb today but a couple of people read my rant and freaked out and pressured to give promises not to do it for some time.
Who are these people ? I assume it's not here . I'm not blaming you or anything but if you rant to people who know you are suicidal -- expect to be saved . We all know that . :heart: I know you've had several attempts , everything is messed up in life , and this is not spur of the moment . I'll take your words that you cannot be saved . This is really despairing , unable to find peace , but kept alive , I know :hug:
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
It's a natural response to do what they think is helping even if it isn't. It's hard for people who don't feel suicidal to understand that the desire to end suffering can be stronger than the desire to live.
:hug: :hug: :hug:
 
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voyager

voyager

Don't you dare go hollow...
Nov 25, 2019
965
It's actually quite simple, if people could understand/visualise the distress and pain one is in on a rational level they would in fact sanction it and move on with their own lives instead of trying to run ours for themselves, at least that is what I told myself. Of course the real world doesn't function like that, but that doesn't make this train of thought wrong, and I honestly tried to explain the situation, but didn't make all too much progress.

Ultimately, there came a point though where I wasn't even willing to make false promises/lie anymore to make others feel good about themselves. Sounds terrible, but in that moment I knew it was a mere matter of time. If things hadn't changed for the better that would've indeed been that.

You'll find the right decision for yourself.
 
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Una

Una

Write something, even if it’s just a suicide note.
Feb 28, 2020
87
Some, possibly a lot, of people consider talking about it 'a cry for help.'
Only you know whether or not it is.
As only you know why do you need anyone to know, and/or to agree with whatever decision you make.
 
Quinlor

Quinlor

The stranger
Feb 21, 2019
1,058
Only you can "save" you if you want and can...
 
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K

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
I smashed my phone day before yesterday and tried to drink sn,
couldn't, just a sip again, felt weak and bad after
my kind friend took me to her place to stay for a while.
I feel worthless, mentally broken lifeless husk of a person
stuck between life and death
 
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