C

crova

Making death amazing journey
Oct 7, 2018
377
I still love coffee [and my titanium bike]..! ;]
 
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Over it

Member
Oct 10, 2018
20
What's normal???
I mean, I know exactly what you meant in your post by being 'normal'
But I have come across a lot of very colourful and broken people in my life, and I can tell you, that in my eyes.. no-one is Normal, what even is normal.??

I will admit, (prior to being suicidal) I was one of those people, get married, have babies, grow old, etc... this is something my parents instilled in me,

But.. not everyone has that view. Especially these days..

Over the last 10 years I have realised more than ever, we aren't living in the 1940s 60s
who you speak to and hang around with also has an influence on your perception of the world.

I also might add here ... just because they may be older, does not make them wiser!

Ahhh sorry I got to the end and realised that I didn't give a very specified response to your post..
I have many views of people's perception of 'normal', i just struggle with how to put my words together and get my thoughts across in a way people understand.

By the comments, I also wonder if I am even on the right path..
 
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checking out

Member
Sep 17, 2018
56
I'd say your error is here. The most important thing in life is whatever you decide is most important t you. For most regular people that is not "life itself", but something more along the lines of their career, their family, art or their religion etc., and it doesn't have to be the same for every person, can change over time and can also be a mix of several things.

I agree there is no objective purpose, but nothing in the entire universe has an objective purpose, so life not having one doesn't seem like a huge problem to me. In fact I prefer it this way. It means we are free to do with it as we please.
Thanks Revok for the thoughtful post. You have touched on the crux of the issue for me - life has no purpose, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy it. I understand this perspective, but the way I am at present I don't enjoy it. Thus, life has no purpose and I can't enjoy it. Just like a crap movie or a boring video game, you'd walk out of the cinema or switch off the console. Life seems to be (and yes it is all in the perspective) a constant struggle. A constant struggle through a meaningless existence. That's why I am considering checking out.
 
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KillVenus

KillVenus

I’m Watching the Sunset
Sep 19, 2018
42
I'd say your error is here. The most important thing in life is whatever you decide is most important t you. For most regular people that is not "life itself", but something more along the lines of their career, their family, art or their religion etc., and it doesn't have to be the same for every person, can change over time and can also be a mix of several things.

I agree there is no objective purpose, but nothing in the entire universe has an objective purpose, so life not having one doesn't seem like a huge problem to me. In fact I prefer it this way. It means we are free to do with it as we please.
It would be cool for me to think like that, the problem is that I can't. For me everything should have a meaning, I'm more like an engineer : every part of my car or my plane is important and has a meaning. This is why I'm decided to leave this world, I can't do nothing knowing that it's just pointless, yeah you can do whatever you want in this world but doing nothing or commit suicide are also on the « do whatever you want » list and it has the same impact on the world than dedicate my life to religion or my career etc : it's useless
 
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Threads

Threads

Warlock
Jul 13, 2018
721
I don't quantify as a 'normal person.' I don't want to die. That doesn't mean I am not pro-choice. I believe that everyone has the right to take their lives.
 
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checking out

Member
Sep 17, 2018
56
It would be cool for me to think like that, the problem is that I can't. For me everything should have a meaning, I'm more like an engineer : every part of my car or my plane is important and has a meaning. This is why I'm decided to leave this world, I can't do nothing knowing that it's just pointless, yeah you can do whatever you want in this world but doing nothing or commit suicide are also on the « do whatever you want » list and it has the same impact on the world than dedicate my life to religion or my career etc : it's useless
Hey mate on the same wavelength. Maybe we're both wrong, but it's nice to know there's someone out there that thinks the same as me
 
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C

checking out

Member
Sep 17, 2018
56
I don't quantify as a 'normal person.' I don't want to die. That doesn't mean I am not pro-choice. I believe that everyone has the right to take their lives.

When I think of normal, I look at the people who do not have inner monologues or inner dialect. They are just there. They lack any sort of ability to act beyond their own instinct. Those are the people who do not want to die. The people who are incapable of asking deeper questions about what is wrong with society.

I have no desire to die. I have had the desire to die. I've attempted suicide dozens of times. I've probably caused permanent damage to myself as a result. I've felt that suicide is the only solution for me. I've felt that way for many years. I may still in the future take my life. I don't know the future, but I know right now and likely for the foreseeable future, I do not want to die.

Our perspective determines our outlook. Anyone can be a nihilist. Nihilism is easy. I don't like easy. I want to help people. I want to bring to bring hope into peoples lives. I've endured trauma from repeated sexual abuse, neglect, munchausen by proxy, physical abuse, living in a cult. I could write novels about it. I've rolled around in the dirt at rock bottom. For many years, I attempted to climb the walls of rock bottom, only to fall harder and harder. As a result of the munchausen by proxy, my abdomen is permanently misshapen and deformed. I'm emotionally all fucked up. All sorts of shit has happened. I can't have normal intimate sex. I crave risky and high tension sex, so having a normal intimate relationship is out the door.

But. I have a good job. Something I did not have for a long time. I have my own place. I have the basics of my life together. I don't have to rely on money I earned from bitcoin. I can rely on money I am making right now, and that feels extraordinary. I have an outstanding therapist. I don't need medication. I have dreams, hopes, and I'm in physical shape. It comes down to the small things. I don't want to die. I want. No. I need to keep going.
I can't imagine the suffering you have endured. But glad to hear so many things are going right for you now
 
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Putridsoul

Putridsoul

Member
Aug 19, 2018
32
I would love wanting (and being able)to live; but I can't. My depression hits way too damn hard. It really feels like an overlwhelming, uncurable illness. It literally knocks me out and makes me feel physical pain and extreme feebleness.
 
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Sick Boy

Sick Boy

Student
Oct 19, 2018
186
Cause they´re not mentally ill,they dont suffer from depression or anxiety,their brain Works fine
 

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