Venting Why is the world so fucking loud?

[maybepossiblyithink]

I am undiagnosed, but as more and more days go by I'm coming to terms with the idea that I may be autistic. There's lots of symptoms I can list but, my sensitivity to sounds makes life so fucking unbearable.
Everything is so loud. Everything makes a noise. There is no escaping it. Whenever I get overwhelmed all the sudden, I beat myself. Usually by hitting myself in the head multiple times as hard as I can let myself.
I don't do if on purpose. It's like an instinct. I just do it.
I did it yesterday way too hard and I've had a massive headache since then. It's make it so much worse.
Everything is so fucking loud everything is so god damn loud. The floor. The air. The walls. My headphones that are supposed to keep out the sound make sound. Boats. My fucking guinea pigs screaming for food like they're fucking starving but they're not. Yesterday, I ran out if pellets until 6 pm. I fed them a bunch of vegetables for breakfast instead of their pellets.
Each and every time i made a noise, all four of them would screech. They wouldn't stop for 5-10 minutes each time. I cried myself to sleep. I hit mysslf so much yesterday. They just wouldn't stop. All day.
this alone is enough to make me want to ctb. Just to escape the noise.
i have dreams where i disfigure myself in order to make myself deaf.
I'd honestly love to be deaf, but I know that's horribly offensive and would make life a lot harder.
I just. Everything makes noise. Silence makes noise. It all so fucking loud. I'm contemplating self harm atm but I know it's not going to do anything. I just get dizzy after a few minutes and feel worse.
i don't know. I know beating yourself when you get overwhelmed isn't normal.
I'm so scared to admit I need help with this. I need answers. Something.

 

[Ghost2211]

What about good quality ear plugs? Some of them can cancel our nearly all noise.

 

[Buffy5120]

I am undiagnosed, but as more and more days go by I'm coming to terms with the idea that I may be autistic. There's lots of symptoms I can list but, my sensitivity to sounds makes life so fucking unbearable.
Everything is so loud. Everything makes a noise. There is no escaping it. Whenever I get overwhelmed all the sudden, I beat myself. Usually by hitting myself in the head multiple times as hard as I can let myself.
I don't do if on purpose. It's like an instinct. I just do it.
I did it yesterday way too hard and I've had a massive headache since then. It's make it so much worse.
Everything is so fucking loud everything is so god damn loud. The floor. The air. The walls. My headphones that are supposed to keep out the sound make sound. Boats. My fucking guinea pigs screaming for food like they're fucking starving but they're not. Yesterday, I ran out if pellets until 6 pm. I fed them a bunch of vegetables for breakfast instead of their pellets.
Each and every time i made a noise, all four of them would screech. They wouldn't stop for 5-10 minutes each time. I cried myself to sleep. I hit mysslf so much yesterday. They just wouldn't stop. All day.
this alone is enough to make me want to ctb. Just to escape the noise.
i have dreams where i disfigure myself in order to make myself deaf.
I'd honestly love to be deaf, but I know that's horribly offensive and would make life a lot harder.
I just. Everything makes noise. Silence makes noise. It all so fucking loud. I'm contemplating self harm atm but I know it's not going to do anything. I just get dizzy after a few minutes and feel worse.
i don't know. I know beating yourself when you get overwhelmed isn't normal.
I'm so scared to admit I need help with this. I need answers. Something.

So i have hyperacusis and its crazy how i was just researching about it online but apparently people that have autism can experience the same thing. Im not autistic but now that i have hyperacusis from a 2 hour mri without headphones which damaged my ears i can relate to everything your saying.

 

[maybepossiblyithink]

What about good quality ear plugs? Some of them can cancel our nearly all noise.

I've never tried them, but I don't know if I could. I've never been able to use anything similar to earbuds :(

 

[Ghost2211]

I've never tried them, but I don't know if I could. I've never been able to use anything similar to earbuds :(

You don't like how in ear stuff feels? The bliss of silence might cancel out the annoying feeling

 

[maybepossiblyithink]

So i have hyperacusis and its crazy how i was just researching about it online but apparently people that have autism can experience the same thing. Im not autistic but now that i have hyperacusis from a 2 hour mri without headphones which damaged my ears i can relate to everything your saying.

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Hopefully it's not forever.
I'm glad you get it, though. No one irl does.

 

[Buffy5120]

I've never tried them, but I don't know if I could. I've never been able to use anything similar to earbuds :(

You might actually just have hyperacusis do your get pain in your ears?

 

[maybepossiblyithink]

You don't like how in ear stuff feels? The bliss of silence might cancel out the annoying feeling

I'm tempted to try them. I'd just need to practice.
But, have you ever been the only one awake at 5-6, when the birds haven't even woken up yet??? I can still hear the air but, that's the most peaceful time in the world for me. Almost completely silence.

You might actually just have hyperacusis do your get pain in your ears?

It's not a pain, it's just very irritating and having things touch inside my ears makes me feel absolutely awful. Like focusing on a hair touch your ears or back of your neck, but you can't ever ignore it

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm tempted to try them. I'd just need to practice.
But, have you ever been the only one awake at 5-6, when the birds haven't even woken up yet??? I can still hear the air but, that's the most peaceful time in the world for me. Almost completely silence.

I love the silence and subtle sounds of nature. Cities are quite busy. I can see how sensitivity to noise would make city life hell. Have you talked to an ENT about your situation? They may have noise canceling ideas as well.

 

[maybepossiblyithink]

I'm tempted to try them. I'd just need to practice.
But, have you ever been the only one awake at 5-6, when the birds haven't even woken up yet??? I can still hear the air but, that's the most peaceful time in the world for me. Almost completely silence.

It's not a pain, it's just very irritating and having things touch inside my ears makes me feel absolutely awful. Like focusing on a hair touch your ears or back of your neck, but you can't ever ignore it. I do get ringing a lot, though?

I love the silence and subtle sounds of nature. Cities are quite busy. I can see how sensitivity to noise would make city life hell. Have you talked to an ENT about your situation? They may have noise canceling ideas as well.

I've never brought it up to any professionals in my life. I thought it was just normal until last year ):
It would be great to have some options

 

[fluffymuffin]

Have you ever thought of getting a white noise machine? It masks the noise of your surroundings and it's not as bothersome as ear plugs. I heard it's useful for autism.

 

[kappa]

Hi,

Have you heard of misophonia? It's the hatred of sound. I don't remember noises bothering me as much when I was younger- but now it can be unbearable.

Most commonly triggers are chewing sounds, etc. I have the same problem- but it not the "typical" triggers.

Babies or toddlers crying, cats meowing loudly, foot steps above, I swear if a mouse sighed outside I could hear it. I have the same reaction when it's unbearable, I want to sometimes hurt myself.

I have wondered about autism as well though- instead of misophonia. I guess self harm in common in autism, so having that reaction to sound makes me wonder.

I have an air purifier I leave running 24/7 at max power. Also will have a fan running that runs decently loud when it get too bad. For sleep, I need to run both. This is my biggest suggestion. I like the purifier, since it won't make my room cold and at least it's "cleaning" the air.

I have to have something playing through speakers when I am home. If not a podcast, sometimes just "low frequency music" on YouTube, or if you search "study music alpha waves"on YouTube that helps if I need something that won't distract me.

Do you have any good over the ear headphones? Some noises can be almost made worse with noise cancelling headphones (foot steps particularly). Other times I blast music with them when I need a break from outer noise- but this isn't long term.

Have you always had this problem? I've had some triggers, but never like now. I wonder if it due to age. Sorry you're going through this, it's fucking terrible.

 

[maybepossiblyithink]

Hi,

Have you heard of misophonia? It's the hatred of sound. I don't remember noises bothering me as much when I was younger- but now it can be unbearable.

Most commonly triggers are chewing sounds, etc. I have the same problem- but it not the "typical" triggers.

Babies or toddlers crying, cats meowing loudly, foot steps above, I swear if a mouse sighed outside I could hear it. I have the same reaction when it's unbearable, I want to sometimes hurt myself.

I have wondered about autism as well though- instead of misophonia. I guess self harm in common in autism, so having that reaction to sound makes me wonder.

I have an air purifier I leave running 24/7 at max power. Also will have a fan running that runs decently loud when it get too bad. For sleep, I need to run both. This is my biggest suggestion. I like the purifier, since it won't make my room cold and at least it's "cleaning" the air.

I have to have something playing through speakers when I am home. If not a podcast, sometimes just "low frequency music" on YouTube, or if you search "study music alpha waves"on YouTube that helps if I need something that won't distract me.

Do you have any good over the ear headphones? Some noises can be almost made worse with noise cancelling headphones (foot steps particularly). Other times I blast music with them when I need a break from outer noise- but this isn't long term.

Have you always had this problem? I've had some triggers, but never like now. I wonder if it due to age. Sorry you're going through this, it's fucking terrible.

I usually have my AC running to deal with the sound, but it uses a lot of electricity and it's getting colder. And with the headphones, I can still hear things with them on and it makes me extremely anxious hhf. i can only enjoy quiet and feel safe with my headphones on at night.

Do you know how much some kind of white noise machine would cost? I've heard of people talking about them.

also just getting this thought out rq, my head has been hurting consistently for 3 days now, and I have a bruise forming. Should I go to the doctor?

 

[Symbiote]

Have you invested in getting a white noise machine? And if you're rich, a hyperbaric chamber.

 

[Pho3nix]

I usually have my AC running to deal with the sound, but it uses a lot of electricity and it's getting colder. And with the headphones, I can still hear things with them on and it makes me extremely anxious hhf. i can only enjoy quiet and feel safe with my headphones on at night.

Do you know how much some kind of white noise machine would cost? I've heard of people talking about them.

also just getting this thought out rq, my head has been hurting consistently for 3 days now, and I have a bruise forming. Should I go to the doctor?

It isn't only autistic people who suffer from this. I also have hyperacusis plus misophonia (hatred of certain sounds) and some tinnitus when I'm very tired. I use a machine that produces white noise to help me sleep. I bought it from Amazon but can't remember the price. If you check Amazon for "tinnitus machines" there's quite a selection and they produce different sounds to mask annoying noises and calm you down.

 

[maybepossiblyithink]

It isn't only autistic people who suffer from this. I also have hyperacusis plus misophonia (hatred of certain sounds) and some tinnitus when I'm very tired. I use a machine that produces white noise to help me sleep. I bought it from Amazon but can't remember the price. If you check Amazon for "tinnitus machines" there's quite a selection and they produce different sounds to mask annoying noises and calm you down.

My sensitivity to sound is only a part of the reason why I think I may be autistic :( It's the most exhausting one, at least. i know there's lots of reasons people have this.
Thank you, I'm gonna do some research and save up for one. I only have 10 dollars right now

 

[woxihuanni]

I am sensitive to sounds as well. It got better when I found a husband. For some reason, my sleep was not as easily broken by noise. I am just sharing this because probably nobody else will think of this alleviating the problem somewhat.

Also, why keep pets that make noise...

 

[maybepossiblyithink]

Have you invested in getting a white noise machine? And if you're rich, a hyperbaric chamber.

I'm looking into it!
if I was rich I'd go all in and buy sensory deprivation tank instead

 

[ts0hill]

I have the same issues..maybe to not the same extent tho.. chewing and all those unessary stupid sounds annoy the HELL out of me. I think it is from growing up and my family was so noisy and annoying sometimes cooking and slamming cabinets, running the sink, etc, It would wake me up almost EVERY night as a child and also by my dads loud footsteps walking by my room so I think naturally I developed an adversity to unessary or loud sounds. Maybe this sort of thing happened to you? Just my possible theory of what could be the reason for misophonia. Also, I don't know how attached you are to the animals but maybe you (sorry to sound harsh) could give away the pigs? I used to have 2 of guinea pigs growing up but gave them to some lady who had like 10.. they were still very happy, I don't think that rodents get "attached" to humans

 

[maybepossiblyithink]

I have the same issues..maybe to not the same extent tho.. chewing and all those unessary stupid sounds annoy the HELL out of me. I think it is from growing up and my family was so noisy and annoying sometimes cooking and slamming cabinets, running the sink, etc, It would wake me up almost EVERY night as a child and also by my dads loud footsteps walking by my room so I think naturally I developed an adversity to unessary or loud sounds. Maybe this sort of thing happened to you? Just my possible theory of what could be the reason for misophonia. Also, I don't know how attached you are to the animals but maybe you (sorry to sound harsh) could give away the pigs? I used to have 2 of guinea pigs growing up but gave them to some lady who had like 10.. they were still very happy, I don't think that rodents get "attached" to humans

I've rehomed one of my guinea pigs because I got them with my really bad ex-partner but I don't think I could get rid of the rest. I take as good care of them as I possibly can and I don't personally know anyone who will take the same amount of care. They were rescues and already had a hard life so hhf.
They aren't affectionate and they're scared of me no matter how gentle I am but they're still important to me h. i just have to deal with it, like most things.

also, yeah, I still live with my family who's like that. Slamming doors, scream talking, stomping, etc. that's definitely a big part of it.

 

[Mm80]

I am undiagnosed, but as more and more days go by I'm coming to terms with the idea that I may be autistic. There's lots of symptoms I can list but, my sensitivity to sounds makes life so fucking unbearable.
Everything is so loud. Everything makes a noise. There is no escaping it. Whenever I get overwhelmed all the sudden, I beat myself. Usually by hitting myself in the head multiple times as hard as I can let myself.
I don't do if on purpose. It's like an instinct. I just do it.
I did it yesterday way too hard and I've had a massive headache since then. It's make it so much worse.
Everything is so fucking loud everything is so god damn loud. The floor. The air. The walls. My headphones that are supposed to keep out the sound make sound. Boats. My fucking guinea pigs screaming for food like they're fucking starving but they're not. Yesterday, I ran out if pellets until 6 pm. I fed them a bunch of vegetables for breakfast instead of their pellets.
Each and every time i made a noise, all four of them would screech. They wouldn't stop for 5-10 minutes each time. I cried myself to sleep. I hit mysslf so much yesterday. They just wouldn't stop. All day.
this alone is enough to make me want to ctb. Just to escape the noise.
i have dreams where i disfigure myself in order to make myself deaf.
I'd honestly love to be deaf, but I know that's horribly offensive and would make life a lot harder.
I just. Everything makes noise. Silence makes noise. It all so fucking loud. I'm contemplating self harm atm but I know it's not going to do anything. I just get dizzy after a few minutes and feel worse.
i don't know. I know beating yourself when you get overwhelmed isn't normal.
I'm so scared to admit I need help with this. I need answers. Something.

Im sorry to hear what your going through. Im autistic and can relate.
Some of the stuff you have mentioned about being overwhelmed and your venting , sounds like an autistic meltdown, might be worth looking it up for understanding and tips.
The sound stuff you mention is sensory overload, really common. Im the same. Im very sensitive to some sounds to the point that they become intrusive and painful. Other people can ignore them and concentrate on what they are doing. Not as easy for autistic people. The hitting yourself will serve a purpose (although negative) as a way of dealing with feeling overloaded.
All id urge you to do there is channel the anger outwards and maybe hit a pillow or another inanimate object.
Sounds like your stress levels are very high and autistic people tend to be very sensitive to stress. Can you get anything temporarily from the docs for anxiety just to take the edge off this rough period?
Like rosie said earlier earplugs are a definite consideration as they can take the edge off those intrusive sounds. The screeching less extreme and sounds become less raw to you.

 

[maybepossiblyithink]

Im sorry to hear what your going through. Im autistic and can relate.
Some of the stuff you have mentioned about being overwhelmed and your venting , sounds like an autistic meltdown, might be worth looking it up for understanding and tips.
The sound stuff you mention is sensory overload, really common. Im the same. Im very sensitive to some sounds to the point that they become intrusive and painful. Other people can ignore them and concentrate on what they are doing. Not as easy for autistic people. The hitting yourself will serve a purpose (although negative) as a way of dealing with feeling overloaded.
All id urge you to do there is channel the anger outwards and maybe hit a pillow or another inanimate object.
Sounds like your stress levels are very high and autistic people tend to be very sensitive to stress. Can you get anything temporarily from the docs for anxiety just to take the edge off this rough period?
Like rosie said earlier earplugs are a definite consideration as they can take the edge off those intrusive sounds. The screeching less extreme and sounds become less raw to you.

It feels really nice to hear that so many people understand what I mean hh
Thank you.
I have anxiety medication but I keep forgetting to take them regularly. I need to focus on them back them into my system, even if they don't woke that well.
I have been really overwhelmed for months. My minds on auto pilot at this point, but still, the noise just takes me out of it and it's miserable.
After some things are dealt with I thinking if reaching out to my doctor about it. I really went too far with it this time, had a migraine for 3 days now.

 

[bloomingdark]

I can relate, I hate it even more because I have tinnitus , every time you hear "silence" I am hearing and infinite beeeeeep , I am slowly forgetting how silence feels

Sucks.

 

[elfgyoza]

Some of the stuff mentioned above is really good advice.

I was diagnosed as autistic when I was 20 and I've also had misphonia since I was about 11 (misophonia generally has an onset age of around 9-12). The difference between my sensory autistic and misophonia issues can be subtle sometimes:
Misophonia-

• Characterised by a hatred of certain 'trigger' sounds. Elicits an intense emotional reaction like anxiety, disgust, anger and hatred.
• Most common triggers are repetitive, e.g. Chewing, breathing, eating crunchy foods, keyboard clicking, pen clicking, finger tapping etc.
• One way I dealt with my triggers was self inflicting pain, which was mostly hitting myself and scratching skin. I'd also wish I was deaf

Sensory autistic issues-

• Loud noises will make me feel very panicked and also upset if they were sudden
• Being in crowded and loud environments feels overwhelming and some people will just shut down in this situation
• Sensory overload sometimes happens - it's when your senses become overstimulated to the point where you can't take in all the information anymore ---- this also happens with sensory processing disorder

I'll admit I don't know a lot about huperacusis but I believe the main difference is that misophonia is normally towards sounds produced by other people that are typically filtered out by 'normal' people. Whereas hyperacusis is affected by any noise and it can make them seem much louder.

I'm sorry you have to deal with all this OP, I know how distressing it is. The only real solution for me so far is noise cancelling earphones (i did see the bit where you said you couldn't use those but how about over ear headphones?). They're expensive but worth it. I also use white noise (i prefer brown noise) which can help to have similar effects as noise cancelling.
I have also found that some medications seem to lessen the intensity for me, particularly ones for anxiety

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I am undiagnosed, but as more and more days go by I'm coming to terms with the idea that I may be autistic. There's lots of symptoms I can list but, my sensitivity to sounds makes life so fucking unbearable.
Everything is so loud. Everything makes a noise. There is no escaping it. Whenever I get overwhelmed all the sudden, I beat myself. Usually by hitting myself in the head multiple times as hard as I can let myself.
I don't do if on purpose. It's like an instinct. I just do it.
I did it yesterday way too hard and I've had a massive headache since then. It's make it so much worse.
Everything is so fucking loud everything is so god damn loud. The floor. The air. The walls. My headphones that are supposed to keep out the sound make sound. Boats. My fucking guinea pigs screaming for food like they're fucking starving but they're not. Yesterday, I ran out if pellets until 6 pm. I fed them a bunch of vegetables for breakfast instead of their pellets.
Each and every time i made a noise, all four of them would screech. They wouldn't stop for 5-10 minutes each time. I cried myself to sleep. I hit mysslf so much yesterday. They just wouldn't stop. All day.
this alone is enough to make me want to ctb. Just to escape the noise.
i have dreams where i disfigure myself in order to make myself deaf.
I'd honestly love to be deaf, but I know that's horribly offensive and would make life a lot harder.
I just. Everything makes noise. Silence makes noise. It all so fucking loud. I'm contemplating self harm atm but I know it's not going to do anything. I just get dizzy after a few minutes and feel worse.
i don't know. I know beating yourself when you get overwhelmed isn't normal.
I'm so scared to admit I need help with this. I need answers. Something.

I got diagnosed with Aspergers over 6 months ago and I am 26 and so much made sense after getting that diagnose including the loud sounds as you describe I can´t stand loud sounds, I live right next to a road so when I watch a video and cars or busses drives by I have to rewind because I can´t hear shit if my window is open.

I get so angry at loud sounds that I often can´t hide my anger for it and involuntarily yell "fag" or "so drive away for fucks sake" like when people with loud cars because of the extender on their exhaust pipe just keep gassing up in the drive way of my dorm or the worst is motorcycles they are unnecessarily loud it´s the worst of them all I don´t understand people don´t feel embarrassed driving such loud vehicles I know my head would be red as a tomato if I were to drive one so loud, so that´s another thing I hate about summer so I´m glad it´s finally spring and soon winter which means no more motorcycles, South Park really got it right with that episode "the F word" which is about Harley drivers obnoxious loud motorcycles.

But reading your thread I can clearly tell you have it worse than me in regards of noise I certainly wouldn´t want to be death I just wish the world would be more quite like I can´t even stand people yelling especially drunk people partying yelling "wuuuh" and stuff like that, you can even visibly see on my face how annoyed or angry I get I can´t hide that, fortunately when I get angry about it it will only take a few seconds to get over it it´s just in the moment I kind of peak with extreme anger which is why I sometimes (mostly with motorcycles or tuned loud scooters will involuntary yell some words out of anger but immediately cool down when they are gone I never stay angry for long.

 

[maybepossiblyithink]

Some of the stuff mentioned above is really good advice.

I was diagnosed as autistic when I was 20 and I've also had misphonia since I was about 11 (misophonia generally has an onset age of around 9-12). The difference between my sensory autistic and misophonia issues can be subtle sometimes:
Misophonia-

• Characterised by a hatred of certain 'trigger' sounds. Elicits an intense emotional reaction like anxiety, disgust, anger and hatred.
• Most common triggers are repetitive, e.g. Chewing, breathing, eating crunchy foods, keyboard clicking, pen clicking, finger tapping etc.
• One way I dealt with my triggers was self inflicting pain, which was mostly hitting myself and scratching skin. I'd also wish I was deaf

Sensory autistic issues-

• Loud noises will make me feel very panicked and also upset if they were sudden
• Being in crowded and loud environments feels overwhelming and some people will just shut down in this situation
• Sensory overload sometimes happens - it's when your senses become overstimulated to the point where you can't take in all the information anymore ---- this also happens with sensory processing disorder

I'll admit I don't know a lot about huperacusis but I believe the main difference is that misophonia is normally towards sounds produced by other people that are typically filtered out by 'normal' people. Whereas hyperacusis is affected by any noise and it can make them seem much louder.

I'm sorry you have to deal with all this OP, I know how distressing it is. The only real solution for me so far is noise cancelling earphones (i did see the bit where you said you couldn't use those but how about over ear headphones?). They're expensive but worth it. I also use white noise (i prefer brown noise) which can help to have similar effects as noise cancelling.
I have also found that some medications seem to lessen the intensity for me, particularly ones for anxiety

it's weird. I don't have any specific triggers, but I am really sensitive to sudden noises, even if I expect them. Like when someone crinkles/ rolls up/ a bag of chips of anything similar, I have to cover my ears until it's done. If I don't I get incredibly annoyed and stay that was for at least a few minutes.
On bad days, after dealing with so much noise at the end of the day, I just break down. I cry sometimes, but I mainly am just so irritated at tired at that point that my mind just goes blank. I feel physically exhausted and sleep at like 7 pm on those days.

I got diagnosed with Aspergers over 6 months ago and I am 26 and so much made sense after getting that diagnose including the loud sounds as you describe I can´t stand loud sounds, I live right next to a road so when I watch a video and cars or busses drives by I have to rewind because I can´t hear shit if my window is open.

I get so angry at loud sounds that I often can´t hide my anger for it and involuntarily yell "fag" or "so drive away for fucks sake" like when people with loud cars because of the extender on their exhaust pipe just keep gassing up in the drive way of my dorm or the worst is motorcycles they are unnecessarily loud it´s the worst of them all I don´t understand people don´t feel embarrassed driving such loud vehicles I know my head would be red as a tomato if I were to drive one so loud, so that´s another thing I hate about summer so I´m glad it´s finally spring and soon winter which means no more motorcycles, South Park really got it right with that episode "the F word" which is about Harley drivers obnoxious loud motorcycles.

But reading your thread I can clearly tell you have it worse than me in regards of noise I certainly wouldn´t want to be death I just wish the world would be more quite like I can´t even stand people yelling especially drunk people partying yelling "wuuuh" and stuff like that, you can even visibly see on my face how annoyed or angry I get I can´t hide that, fortunately when I get angry about it it will only take a few seconds to get over it it´s just in the moment I kind of peak with extreme anger which is why I sometimes (mostly with motorcycles or tuned loud scooters will involuntary yell some words out of anger but immediately cool down when they are gone I never stay angry for long.

Motorcycles make me tear up if I'm outside when they go by. They make more quiet ones but people like to show off with their loud bikes hhf.

 

[k75]

Do you know how much some kind of white noise machine would cost? I've heard of people talking about them.

They range, of course, but you can get a basic one for really cheap. Try Amazon. You might consider just looking up some white noise videos on youtube first, to see if it's even something you'd find helpful. There are other "colors," too. Similar but different frequencies. I've seen brown and pink noise.

It seems weird to combat noise sensitivity with noise, but some types are actually designed for that.

Binaural beats might also be worth looking into. You have to listen with headphones for them to really work. But there are different types for different things like calming, sleep, creativity.

If there's a sound you do enjoy, like gental rain or a breeze or snow falling or even cats purring, you can find lengthy recordings of those that you could just keep on in the background. If something can be recorded, I guarantee someone has. The best ones are in stereo, meant for headphones.

When I'm really having a bad time, I love rain sounds. Especially the sound of rain from inside a car. I searched one day and found some really amazing ones that even had video of the rain on the windshield, which is my favorite thing. I used to sit in my car in the rain to calm down and could watch water drops running down the glass for hours. So it's very calming to me.

 

[woxihuanni]

I would suggest not telling anyone you might be autistic. I thought the same about myself, and told my husband. He used it as justification to dehumanise me.

Anothet thing is, people can develop sensitivity to unreasonable amounts of stimuli but heal in a reasonable environment. You said your family is loud. To illustrate from my experience, it was torture for me to put up with mouse clicking from a roommate. Because, why do I have to live with somebody I despise and did not choose, and bear with her noises? This was a very prolonged thing. All my childhood with unreasonably loud family, all my adulthood in shared accommodation with unreasonably loud people. Because even if one roommate is OK, the other won't be if manners are not a big thing in a culture.

Then when I had the brief respite of married life with someone who also does not like noise, a lot of stuff became bearable that would torture me otherwise. Like the mouse clicking.

I am wuzzy so probably cannot explain it well, but it really makes a difference when you are exposed to people's shit becauee you are powerless to avoid it vs when you have an environment that your stress responses can go down.

For me, earplugs and so on never made a difference until I could change my environment and who I am exposed to.

 

[k75]

I think it's a mistake to try to self-diagnose, but it's probably worth it to get a real evaluation if you can. Something is wrong, and life could be easier with answers.

Sometimes there are surprisingly simple fixes for things that plague us. And sometimes there are none at all. But there's only one way to find out. I hope you find something that helps you.

 

[maybepossiblyithink]

I think it's a mistake to try to self-diagnose, but it's probably worth it to get a real evaluation if you can. Something is wrong, and life could be easier with answers.

Sometimes there are surprisingly simple fixes for things that plague us. And sometimes there are none at all. But there's only one way to find out. I hope you find something that helps you.

I'm not trying to self diagnose and I am no way saying I am, for a fact, autistic, but my entire life theres been so many unexplainable things about how my brain works that's caused me to think this. I've been a selective mute my whole life, (not specific to autism ), i've never held any irl friendships for more than a few months, I can't communicate properly with speaking, but I do well in text or writing, i have several special interests that occupy my mind way more than anything else, like pirates, etc.

I'm just trying to think of possibilities, so that when i do seek help I'll be able to tell them what it is I'm thinking. "I think I may be _____, but I need your professional opinion."
I am scared to seek help. I'm terrified.
I'm already treated as a child by everyone around me. But I desperately want some sort of answer so I can figure out what is going on.
There may be simple fixes for some of the symptoms but, as a whole, I don't know what to do.
My panic disorder and anxiety can be treated with medication but idk what can fix what else is going on besides trying to reach out to a professional.
I want to be normal. I'd be okay with being short, being ftm, being lame, being boring, whatever, if I was just. Normal. If I could just speak like a normal person and actually be able to hold a conversation with people irl. I can't just hide behind a screen for the rest of whatever is left of my life :(