Venting why is the Internet so cruel towards men and incels

[Leonard_Bangley39]

men are always labeled as toxic and rapists and misogynistic. if a man approaches a woman he's labeled a creep, but if he doesn't approach he's called quiet and weird. if a man wants something he's evil and misogynistic. if a man is short or not handsome or makes less than six figures he doesn't exist.

im just so lonely man. all i want is to hug someone. it's that so bad?

 

[The Disqualified]

Hi. I relate a lot to the feelings behind your post.

I hope people are charitable and don't crucify you lol.

I don't think anyone is saying life isn't hard for men as well, especially short, autistic, ugly men.
I think that if you don't fit into society's mold of what a man is supposed to be you can be severely discriminated against.

 

[dirkw83]

Yes it's hard, also if you can't exercise (muscles).

 

[The Disqualified]

men are always labeled as toxic and rapists and misogynistic.

Feminist discourse, especially online, can take a very confrontational and tribalistic tone, but I would say that comes a lot from the dynamics of algorithmic outrage and the internet in general.

The huge majority of feminists in real life will sound like very reasonable people if you talk to them.

if a man approaches a woman he's labeled a creep, but if he doesn't approach he's called quiet and weird.

I think it depends on the kind of man. Your example seems to be of a socially awkward or a not conventionally masculine one.
People have seem me as a "creepy" and "weird" all my life. I understand how it feels like.

if a man wants something he's evil and misogynistic. if a man is short or not handsome or makes less than six figures he doesn't exist.

This is hyperbole, I imagine; but I get the sentiment.
Societal expectations can be very brutal in general.

Especially if you are a vulnerable or sensitive male who is struggling to gain a foothold in life... it can be very rough.

im just so lonely man. all i want is to hug someone. it's that so bad?

Not at all. I have led a lonely life as well.
We can talk if it makes you less lonely. I think we have a lot in common.

Sending virtual hugs.

 

[whitetaildeer]

I'm going to assume you're well-meaning. If you call yourself an incel, you should know the connotations that label has, and the ideologies that incel communities believe in. At best, you're letting yourself believe you're unlovable for external reasons out of your control, such as your physical appearance, and the more you let yourself stew in that self-hatred, the more that fear becomes true, because you close yourself off to being loved. You will hate the idea of being loved, because you hate who you are as a person, and you will end up turning away or even hurting women who can see past all the walls you've built up as a direct result of that insecurity.

Sadly, if you want to be loved, you need to accept that you will, at some point in your life, be hurt, either by a woman or by anyone who matters to you. No one wishes this is the case, but it's a much better alternative to hating yourself, which accomplishes nothing other than cementing yourself further in an echo chamber, and alienating yourself from other people, especially women.

if a man approaches a woman he's labeled a creep, but if he doesn't approach he's called quiet and weird. if a man wants something he's evil and misogynistic.

In what earth? Can you elaborate?

if a man is short or not handsome or makes less than six figures he doesn't exist.

From man to man: I'm 4'11, look like shit, and make very little money. I'm even disabled physically (fibromyalgia) and mentally (partial dissociative identity disorder & schizoaffective). Absolutely nowhere near dating material, and yet I still got to date a goddess of a woman whom, when she was alive, reciprocated that feeling.

im just so lonely man. all i want is to hug someone. it's that so bad?

No. Of course not. I think you're just in a very harmful thought loop.

 

[WhyMe123]

I feel for men (32F). Even when I've gotten hit on by men that I am not interested in, I'd always turn them down respectfully (even if they were drunk & grope-y)... I'd kindly say I'm not interested but encourage them to continue to shoot their shot, cuz 'you never know!' I see how cold women can be towards men & I've tried to be better.. Because I know if they get coldly rejected all the time, maybe they'll give up? But we need men shooting their shot in order to spark something..

But the reality is that the world is cruel towards everyone.
Men. Women. Children. Nobody is immune. There's a group of haters for every demographic.
Social media makes this very obvious (the comments section)

Idk if this helps at all... Knowing that it's just life?

Question for you - have you ever been hateful towards someone else the way that you are feeling a victim of?
Honestly. Like have you ever commented on a woman's social media post with something negative, spreading hate?
Consider how we are all like this.