Why is it so hard to ask for help?

[AfraidofEverything]

I've been thinking for a long time of getting therapy. Especially now that my problems have really reached a point where my anxiety and sadness just isn't manageable anymore.

I'm broke and unemployed but I am covered with insurance and I could probably make up the difference but I just haven't sent the message.

I think I'm afraid that it could fail and then my only hope is now gone and I've got nothing. Also afraid it will only make things worse.

I keep telling myself I'll send the message and imagine what I'd say and then I never do it. Been doing this 2 years now...I mean worst that happens is I send a message and they can't take me right? Or maybe I might get a little help? I just want to be normal :(

 

[Dead beat dad]

Brother I feel your pain.
If you want help, reaching out and asking for help is a really hard step but some might say it's also half the journey too.
I know a lot of the posters here have had negative experiences with therapy. Personally I've had both good and bad, but my 2c for what it is worth it is better to reach out to a professional if you can rather than a friend or family member. Once you've let it out of the box you can't put it back in and your relationship with that person will always be seasoned by that experience.
Just my 2c brother, if you want help and you've got the strength to reach out then good luck and power to you friend, i hope you can find what you are looking for.
Love and respect

DBD

 

[k75]

It can be a very hard step, but at least if you try, you'll get some sort of result. If you just think about it, you're guaranteed to not get any closer to help. It probably will not make anything worse.

I think it's important to be realistic when it comes to therapy. Like @Dead beat dad mentioned, a lot of people are anti-therapy due to bad experiences, but I've had both good and bad. I've been in therapy for maybe 8 years now and have burned through at least 12 therapists, but I'm still trying.

If you have deep problems, it is not going to help right away. And you may have to try several different therapists to get one that's a good fit and see real results. I think that's where a lot of people get the idea that it's a waste of time or a bad idea. They assume all therapy is crap and doesn't work if the first time fails. But it's like everything else: you get what you put into it. And there are many different types of therapy, so if it's not working, maybe you just need to try another approach instead.

Anyway, I really hope you can get the help you want.

 

[timf]

Reaching out can be a huge hurdle because one imagines a significant down side. In a way it is similar to asking someone out on a date. Fear of rejection has immobilized many. You might consider the half step method to make the hurdle a little less difficult. In a dating situation a suggestion is made about the possibility of getting coffee sometime. If the other person responds, "I'd love to, but I am pretty busy", one has a more gentle decline that outright rejection.

If one were to apply this half step method to asking for help, one might not ask for help directly, but ask for the other persons thoughts about getting help. This helps pave the way to broaching the subject. If one were to contact a group or organization, one could begin by asking for information or a description of the services offered. If a further half step is needed, one might say, "Thanks for the information" I might give it a try sometime". If one still encounters supportive or encouraging responses, it may be that the risk is much lower.

 

[ovaltinee99]

Please do it. When I first felt the positive effects of my antidepressants, I so regretted the fact that I had waited so long to feel normal. Stopped working after a year, but I don't regret anything. Be gentle with yourself, but please don't deprive yourself of the chance to get better.