Venting I don't know what to do anymore.

[golddustwoman]

my life is officially over. i'm miserable, constantly humiliated, i'm lonely and i have no friends and now my girlfriend has left me. my family thinks so lowly of me. i'm in the UK and i have no idea how to CTB in a way that will actually work.

i need to CTB NOW. but i can't. because everything will either cost too much money (i'm totally broke, i literally have £2.50 in my bank account now,) will take too long to acquire, or i simply won't be able to due to the regulations in my country.

i'm hopeless, lonely and depressed. medication doesn't help. family doesn't help. i've been having nightmares about everything i've been through and everything i could go through in the future. i'm ugly and i hate myself. i can't even go to therapy this week because i have a fucking cold and i'm not allowed to show up at therapy when i'm sick.

i just wish i could put a hit on my own head. i've been feeling this way since i was 9 and it's never going away. i just want it to end.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand just wanting to be gone, I also just wish to be free from the suffering as well, it feels so cruel to me how painless ways to die are made inaccessible. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope you find the relief you search for.

 

[golddustwoman]

I understand just wanting to be gone, I also just wish to be free from the suffering as well, it feels so cruel to me how painless ways to die are made inaccessible. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope you find the relief you search for.

thank you so much. i agree, i've always believed that people who want to CTB should have painless methods available - or at least methods that are easier to access. forcing already suffering people to go through even more suffering is pure evil in my opinion. we live in a cruel and sadistic world. it's no wonder so many of us are here, all feeling the same thing and wishing for the end. it's so bleak.

 

[RiverOfLife]

It's cruel. We can't end things but the support systems to keep us alive and thriving are limited at best. And are usually far from the best.
And then there's the relentless propaganda- if there's life there's hope, etc.

 

[golddustwoman]

It's cruel. We can't end things but the support systems to keep us alive and thriving are limited at best. And are usually far from the best.
And then there's the relentless propaganda- if there's life there's hope, etc.

i hate when people tell me "if there's life there's hope" and crap like that. hoping has only been painful for me because i am, time and time again, let down by life itself. i haven't been happy in so long. i don't think there is hope for a lot of us.