Why is it so difficult to accept yourself?

[Parnate]

I want to accept myself but just can't. I tried so many antidepressants, therapy, yoga , meditation etc. The only time I could feel self acceptance was while on the mao inhibitors parnate but that didn't last long and here I am.
Wish I could be comfortable within my body and gender. I am an effeminate gay man which only worsens the things.
I hate god for making me this way.

 

[mysticatedwine]

i also hate god for making my body and gender this way. big manly looking man with the worst suicidal gender dysphoria

i'm with you