Discussion Why is giving up on life so fucking damn difficult?

[Praestat_Mori]

Question & Discussion: Why is giving up on life so fucking damn difficult?

Many of us have given up, either mentally, or even physically, or already both together. Yet it's still so difficult to just pull the trigger to CTB even if the desired method is at hand. "Hope" that it will get better is certainly one of the biggest factors, although it's probably kinda false hope in most cases.

What do you think?

 

[ConfusedClouds]

Inertia and/or analysis paralysis? CTB requires active actions (as does recovery/change). Stuck in the middle. Urgh.

 

[Ash]

I don't know if I'd call it hope, more not knowing what will happen. If I knew for certain, one way or the other, I could make that decision and live with it. (Or not, lol.) But I don't gamble for a reason and this is the biggest gamble of the lot.

 

[boddibo]

The answer is multi-factorial; many factors can influence the choice to end our lives, no matter how ready we are to die.

They depend on each person's situation, but as you mentioned: the hope of getting better, of getting out of a difficult situation, of things changing...

Having a method doesn't necessarily mean that it will be a success, many people are afraid of failure, of being found before they die, of the fear that despite having scrupulously followed their protocol they will survive and end up with after-effects. Especially when you know that survival instinct exists. I think that many people (myself included) are afraid of our survival instinct. Especially since for some methods (e.g. jumping), survival instinct can be greater than for other methods.

Some may be at the lowest point in their lives, but they are unable to take this final step because of the people around them, because they don't want to hurt them despite their own suffering.

Some others, because of their beliefs, are also afraid of what might happen in the afterlife. Some are afraid of hell and of ending up tortured there.

Those are just a few examples that I could think of right away but I think there are more.

 

[EyesOfNight]

Hope, "fear of missing out", fear of the unknown, there are so many factors playing into this.

Hope is pretty much obvious.
FOMO would play a role combined with hope. What if this person reaches out to me and we become best friend. What if [insert problem here] has a solution that I would discover a day after CTB. Now that I think about it it's pretty much just hope.

I must admit I got hit by the fear of the unknown myself. What if I go to [insert postmortem realm here]? What if I get reincarnated into a life that's worse than my current one? There is absolutely no way of knowing (even tho scientifically speaking there is only one clear answer).

I think there is a term for this but don't know it. The current situation is something familiar. Seeking help or CTB both are vastly different from the situation. So instead of venturing out and doing whatever we remain in the safety of our current misery.

The last one I can think of is that being dead runs contrary to our existence. We see, we hear, we smell, we feel, we experience ourselves through this existence. Without it we don't exist. It's pretty much impossible to imagine ourselves not existing because there is nothing to imagine. Although it is fun to try and can lead to a minor existential crisis (did that once, was very entertaining)

 

[sickgirlzis]

isn't it true that you aren't necessarily supposed to kill yourself, from a biological standpoint or something? at the end of the day we are animals (and a lot of people seem to ignore that) and killing ourselves kinda goes against what you're meant to do (i think.)

for me in particular i am just positive and hopeful oftentimes and i always have that feeling that things will get better for me and whatnot, so i don't think I could do it. this combined with finally 'pulling the trigger' would make it pretty hard for me to die, and I think deep down a lot of people who plan to ctb feel the same as I do. it's just a lot to end your life on your own terms. it's weird because it kind of is everything but also nothing at all once it's over.

 

[DepressedDude]

I don't know what will happen after I die, will it be eternal sleep or transported to some other realm or reincarnated? Probably the first one but I wouldn't know I'm dead which kind of annoys me. The other problem is failing, I want to do it once and do it right, which I can't guarantee.

 

[LittleJem]

I feel frightened at the moment. I am ordering things like large plastic bags and adult diapers - which is the closest I have been to CTB.

I keep having pictures of my family after I go flashing through my mind.

I am going to try a line of cocaine today to see if it makes me feel different and easier about CTB. I'm not a regular user, but I have a little bit left from months ago and can source more.

I keep looking at myself and thinking it's such a shame. That other than depression my body is healthy and if I could feel better than this life would not be wasted. But I have also tried so many things to feel better and nothing works.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Suicide is just so difficult to do for some people. I have absolutely nothing in life that I look forward to. I don't have hope or fear of missing out (I actually want to miss out on as much of life as possible). I'm only alive because dying is too difficult for me to do and I know that there are others here who can relate. Suicide is absolutely terrifying and it can go so horribly wrong. A failed attempt from a risky suicide attempt can cause permanent damage

 

[marchshift]

I gave up on life. The hardest thing for me is my cat. I live in a place with no support/friends/family. He has to die with me. No one to take him. It would be cruel to leave him behind to starve/die slow death. I've attempted with charcoal and didn't put the coals outside first. The look on his face was horrible from the smell. I don't want to hurt him.

 

[silence ends]

I think that "hope" is like part of survival instinct.
If u know thats false ur same point as me, strugling on the edge wanting to take last step but still kinda hanging on life.
If u start to believe (in to that "hope") it will give u some strenght to keep going, even try to improve. Done that so in my case i know its false for me.
Like subconciouss fire alarm when subc noticing me taking steps to end living.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

For me it's fear of what comes after death.
Another factor is my chosen method.
SN is slow and I don't look forward to those 10-15 minutes that it takes to lose consciousness.
However right know I don't have any better method than SN, I just wish it was faster.

 

[UKscotty]

Hope is the main reason I think, hope that I can recover.

Also a little dear of after death. I am 99.9% sure there is no God or after death, but there is that tiny grain of doubt.

 

[rozeske]

I think fear of the unknown, not having a certain way out and years and years of evolution that has ingrained survival instinct onto us. I don't believe it's completely related to the quality of our life of hope of possibilities. Even when everything has gone bad and you want nothing to do with this life it will always be hard to take that last step off of it.

 

[willitpass]

Fear of failure is definitely a big one. Especially after all of my trauma from surviving my other attempts, that fear has only increased. Overcoming SI was a million times easier when I did it the first time. I honestly can say being at one of my absolute lowest points right now, it has been a much worse hell to want to die but feel unable to CTB due to SI than all of my other low moments when I would simply tell myself so would just CTB. Feeling trapped by my own mind at rock bottom is the most horrific feeling.

 

[Dark Moon]

There's a lack of methods to ctb where I'm from, not even guns are available here.

Fear of failure and I don't know what's going to happen next, their could be a hell for all I know, I could be reincarnated, or stuck in a void.

SI too and I don't really think I can get out of my situation.