WritingLove
Member
- Oct 16, 2020
- 12
So I'm quite new here but I need someone to tell my story to. I don't Know what to do at this point to make myself feel better or at least so much so that I can breath or do something. I was raped as a kid, like seven years old. Not raped in the conventional sense, the definition of raped is someone entering the body without consent, he made me suck him off on multiple occasions, he was very aggressive, he hit me, he kicked me, I slammed my head into a sink, he molested me, touched me everywhere. To a child who didn't know what sex was, or rape was, this was very traumatic. That might explain why I suppressed the shit out of it to the point I didn't know it happened to me. It all came back I think almost two years ago, In a series of flashbacks and dreams. At the time I didn't tell anyone, imagine having to tell you dad. My dad and I have a special bond, I understand him and he understands me, like without words. So when I had to tell him what happened to me, I could tell what it did to him, he was ready to kill. No one touches my daughter he said. I'll never forget that.
With something like this it feels like it's never over.I've had therapy, I've tried to work through it. But the flashbacks keep coming back. I keep feeling him on me, his hands, I feel the pressure. I feel so dirty and want to shower, but this kind of dirty a shower can't fix, a thousand showers can't fix.
this is not the only reason I want to die though, my whole childhood was fucked up, but that's a different story. Thanks for reading, I just wanted to share.
With something like this it feels like it's never over.I've had therapy, I've tried to work through it. But the flashbacks keep coming back. I keep feeling him on me, his hands, I feel the pressure. I feel so dirty and want to shower, but this kind of dirty a shower can't fix, a thousand showers can't fix.
this is not the only reason I want to die though, my whole childhood was fucked up, but that's a different story. Thanks for reading, I just wanted to share.