Why is dying painlessly so hard

[Aboutblue]

I need to die but feel totally stuck on how to go about it. Yes I've read the wiki and PPH but it all seems either unattainable or risky.

SN is great but you need a prescription for meta or something. Plus I don't even know where to buy SN. Googling did bring up some options but they ask for a company name and I'm a little worried they'll know I'm lying. N is too risky. I'm close to a popular suicide bridge and I always thought that's how I would go but the more I think about it the more I'm sure it will be cold and excruciating. I don't want to drown. Hanging freaks me out. Inert gas seems like the best method but you could end up a vegetable. Maybe it's worth the risk and trouble of getting nitrogen, but it's not exactly simple. I can't get a gun because I've been in a psych ward.

Like what the fuck. People die every day and here I am struggling to find the right method. I wish someone would just shoot me or I could take a pill and die peacefully. Am I being dumb or is this really hard?

 

[Anonymous_A]

It's physically not that hard to die. I mean you could slice your own neck similarly to how you slice/cut a piece of chicken.
It's mostly 90% (prolly even more) mental/psychological

Things like n/sn, if we were unaware theyd actually kill us, then we wouldn't be so cautious of them (if that makes sense)
Kinda like if you told a random person in the street, drink this salty drink (sn)for £1000…they'd probably do it. But if they knew what it was, they wouldn't.
It's all survival instincts, your not wired to intentionally kill yourself. Humans are supposed to survive

 

[doesntevenmatter]

I don't think you're dumb, and I do believe it can be very hard. The hardest part honestly, in my opinion, is finding the perfect (or as close to perfect as possible) method for you. Sometimes the perfect method doesn't exist for us, and in that case we have to just decide if it's something we still want to pursue or try to continue life. I do agree with Anonymous' excellent post, though, most of this is a mental thing. The act itself, when you're prepared and have what you need, can be extremely easy.

I'm not sure what is best for you, at this point, to be honest. I think you need to search your heart and find the best method for you, and make sure you're 100% ready for it. I won't lie to you, though, there is risk in almost anything you choose. From being saved to having something confiscated, etc... You really have to just figure out what you're most comfortable with and what has the least risk and highest success. What that is for me may be different for you.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

It's hard to figure out the best way.

Perhaps you're not ready. Or you are. Idk.

Sn/N require waiting until it kicks in. For that I think jumping/driving off a cliff is better...but I will probably do...poision.

It fucking sucks. If you can get out of all this shit do it. I hope you can.

 

[deletemyaccount1]

I understand how you feel its agony I just wish there was a needle you could insert into your arm that would end it in a split second

 

[StevieNixs]

I need to die but feel totally stuck on how to go about it. Yes I've read the wiki and PPH but it all seems either unattainable or risky.

SN is great but you need a prescription for meta or something. Plus I don't even know where to buy SN. Googling did bring up some options but they ask for a company name and I'm a little worried they'll know I'm lying. N is too risky. I'm close to a popular suicide bridge and I always thought that's how I would go but the more I think about it the more I'm sure it will be cold and excruciating. I don't want to drown. Hanging freaks me out. Inert gas seems like the best method but you could end up a vegetable. Maybe it's worth the risk and trouble of getting nitrogen, but it's not exactly simple. I can't get a gun because I've been in a psych ward.

Like what the fuck. People die every day and here I am struggling to find the right method. I wish someone would just shoot me or I could take a pill and die peacefully. Am I being dumb or is this really hard?

You're not wrong. I had all of your issues regarding not being able to obtain SN and I'm not sure if I bought N whether it will be intercepted with me being arrested. I have a stash of pills which would do the job but realise now I need antisickess meds which I don't have.
Well before I obtained the meds I have, I thought about not drinking fluids but read this option is painful and can take a long time and possibly over ten days if not a couple of weeks to succeed. I thought it took about four days to die from dehydration.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I agree, it is hard to take our own lives. We deserve a right to die as we did not ask to exist in the first place. I am worried about failing a method with consequences and there is also the SI, us humans are programmed to live. I would love to just fall into an eternal sleep.

 

[Whiskybadger]

I understand how you feel its agony I just wish there was a needle you could insert into your arm that would end it in a split second

I'm just sharing a thought that I have had on a previous brainstorm of my preferred method.
Why not just OD on heroin? From my very limited understanding it's very easy to OD on since it is just quantity based.

 

[WaaaghEnjoyer]

The painless methods have been taken away from us as they were deemed too efficient. And in a society that values efficiency, economic growth and more work, death must be the opposite of efficient. If working 120 hour weeks seems easier than dying to the average person, then society as a whole remains unchanged. Change is a scary phenomenon.

Regarding picking a method, I too have struggled in finding a good one. And although hanging freaked me out initially (and I refused to even consider it), after further research I found out that it's not that bad (it's also the only method available in my circumstances). Maybe you could read more about it?

 

[SleepDealer]

I understand this struggle too well. Lately I am far less concerned about pain than I am about being caught and surviving. There were a lot of things I didn't consider in the past. Even the painless methods aren't perfect. When you're sitting there waiting for something to kick in, it's easy to get worked up and paranoid. Is it working? How long is it going to take? Why don't I feel anything? What if someone finds me before anything happens? What if someone finds me the moment it kicks in? How am I going to explain my way out of this shit?

My last attempt was too impulsive. I spent awhile carefully researching what I was going to do and what my backup plan would be. The trouble is, I kept having to postpone my plan for weeks at a time, so I grew impatient and ended up going through with it the moment I was alone. I think it would have worked if not for that. Because I didn't know exactly how much alone time I'd have, my paranoia was eating me alive. I grew unbearably anxious from thinking someone might come back at any second, so I resorted to my backup plan before I even knew if my first plan failed. It didn't fail, but I screwed it up. I don't know if it was my nerves or the fact that I combined plan A with plan B, but I threw up and that was the end of it.

It took me a long time to get the resources I needed. I don't live alone, but god I wish I did. Someone with a history of trying to ctb can't be caught ordering weird chemicals or screwing with anything too out of the ordinary. Some methods just make me laugh, like exit bags that require you to purchase a tank of gas. How the hell am I going to hide something like that? In my situation, I can't ask too many questions or even leave the house without raising suspicion. I'm not supposed to leave.

Sorry this hasn't been very reassuring. I've never had the chance to vent about this before, so I couldn't resist.

 

[Sue]

I need to die but feel totally stuck on how to go about it. Yes I've read the wiki and PPH but it all seems either unattainable or risky.

SN is great but you need a prescription for meta or something. Plus I don't even know where to buy SN. Googling did bring up some options but they ask for a company name and I'm a little worried they'll know I'm lying. N is too risky. I'm close to a popular suicide bridge and I always thought that's how I would go but the more I think about it the more I'm sure it will be cold and excruciating. I don't want to drown. Hanging freaks me out. Inert gas seems like the best method but you could end up a vegetable. Maybe it's worth the risk and trouble of getting nitrogen, but it's not exactly simple. I can't get a gun because I've been in a psych ward.

Like what the fuck. People die every day and here I am struggling to find the right method. I wish someone would just shoot me or I could take a pill and die peacefully. Am I being dumb or is this really hard?

I feel exactly the same way. Survived SN suicide 3 days ago. I mean, how is it that people are dying all around me but I just cannot seem to go.

I'm just sharing a thought that I have had on a previous brainstorm of my preferred method.
Why not just OD on heroin? From my very limited understanding it's very easy to OD on since it is just quantity based.

Wouldnt this be extremely difficult? You would need to IV it, and unless you have experience with IV, then it can be tricky. Also, if you swallow it - it just turns into morphine in the system. And inhaling won't cause OD.

 

[callme]

I feel exactly the same way. Survived SN suicide 3 days ago. I mean, how is it that people are dying all around me but I just cannot seem to go.

Wouldnt this be extremely difficult? You would need to IV it, and unless you have experience with IV, then it can be tricky. Also, if you swallow it - it just turns into morphine in the system. And inhaling won't cause OD.

Inhaling may cause OD, but naturally, it must take longer and require a much higher dose. Neither heroin neither fentanyl overdoses make for a painless way it seems. Morphine can be adapted to, and fentanyl may cause neck compression and swallowing of tongue.

For another IV+taping method, one of the typical literature sources describes a potassium chloride (contained in ordinary salt and widely available) method, which causes a heart attack quickly. The big advantage here is the act can easily confuse a pathologist and be ruled a natural death, like we all wish our suicide was seen as.

It however requires outside help in setting up a system, IV line and injecting.

 

[LittleJem]

My method is probably OD, but I actually think partial suspension is a good method if you can find the right spots to make you pass out. I think it's a relatively painless method if done correctly.

The bridge method is painful for sure, I have also considered it. I read that (in Ireland - there's a report on these suicides in Ireland for some reason) people are usually drunk before they jump.

 

[Whiskybadger]

Wouldnt this be extremely difficult? You would need to IV it, and unless you have experience with IV, then it can be tricky.

I wouldn't go as far to say extremely difficult. I would expect the degree of difficultly to be the same as any method of hanging. Yes the preferred method is via IV. However, it is not an IV line or bag. It is a syringe with roughly 0.05mL of liquid (a lethal dose is 30mg, the average 'baggie' is about 50mg of cut product. It is further noted that the average potency is ~66%. Thus 50mg at 66% is roughly equivalent to 30mg); injecting it straight into a vein is ideal yet not essential. It only needs to make it to the blood stream in a concentrated 'hit' thus if you miss the vein it would still have the same intended outcome. Using a tourniquet knot you are able to cut the circulation to your arm and cause your veins to bulge making for a much easier target.

Also, if you swallow it - it just turns into morphine in the system. And inhaling won't cause OD.

You are correct that it just turns into morphine in the system. However this is not just the case for oral consumption, this is true for all routes of administration.
There is very little information on oral dosing but it is suggested that you would need about about a gram to ensure the desired effect. The risks with oral are that it potentially induce vomiting. With that being the case I would look to antiemetics for assistance, with this in mind you may as well just go back to SN.

Inhaling will most definitely cause OD. Either smoked or snorted, a lethal dose is a lethal dose. Again though an increased dose should be accounted due to the increased risk of product loss through alternate means of consumption i.e. you don't catch enough smoke or you blow your nose prior to snorting.

P.S

Survived SN suicide 3 days ago.

I'm sorry to hear that you missed the bus.

 

[callme]

I wouldn't go as far to say extremely difficult. I would expect the degree of difficultly to be the same as any method of hanging. Yes the preferred method is via IV. However, it is not an IV line or bag. It is a syringe with roughly 0.05mL of liquid (a lethal dose is 30mg, the average 'baggie' is about 50mg of cut product. It is further noted that the average potency is ~66%. Thus 50mg at 66% is roughly equivalent to 30mg); injecting it straight into a vein is ideal yet not essential. It only needs to make it to the blood stream in a concentrated 'hit' thus if you miss the vein it would still have the same intended outcome. Using a tourniquet knot you are able to cut the circulation to your arm and cause your veins to bulge making for a much easier target.


You are correct that it just turns into morphine in the system. However this is not just the case for oral consumption, this is true for all routes of administration.
There is very little information on oral dosing but it is suggested that you would need about about a gram to ensure the desired effect. The risks with oral are that it potentially induce vomiting. With that being the case I would look to antiemetics for assistance, with this in mind you may as well just go back to SN.

Inhaling will most definitely cause OD. Either smoked or snorted, a lethal dose is a lethal dose. Again though an increased dose should be accounted due to the increased risk of product loss through alternate means of consumption i.e. you don't catch enough smoke or you blow your nose prior to snorting.

P.S

I'm sorry to hear that you missed the bus.

Sorry, it must be essential to hit a vein? Aren't swollen and bruised arms notoriously painful among heroin users when they miss a vein? Just reading a few such experiences on erowid and it seems bloody painful.

 

[FarAcrossTheWater]

Have you considered CO poisoning?

 

[Sue]

Have you considered CO poisoning?

I did... 2 years ago. Also failed.

 

[Stuckaf2]

I am sick and tired of entertaining this thought... it just won't happen... and I can't bring myself to end it cuz it will be painful regardless of the method... I have been living recklessly but it doesn't seem I am dying anytime soon at least physically...

 

[deletemyaccount1]

I am sick and tired of entertaining this thought... it just won't happen... and I can't bring myself to end it cuz it will be painful regardless of the method... I have been living recklessly but it doesn't seem I am dying anytime soon at least physically...

I feel you :(