Venting Why is 19 considered too young for suicide?

[LostGirl]

I have been getting the usual platitudes like "your life will improve", "you are too young", " there is still hope for you.", ' you have so much potential" etc just because of my age. I understand that the majority of my peers are having the times of their lives and suicide would never ever cross their minds. But not everyone is so lucky.

I know that people meant well when they tried to talk me out of it but they don't know what I've been through and what treatments I've undertaken, all to no avail. I have been suffering for many years without respite, why are suicides of young people considered more stigmatic than others?

 

[TheGoodGuy]

No age is too young I don´t care if you are 12 if you don´t want to live it should be up to the individual itself. Also life is extremely overrated and insignificant people just think life is so precious because we have higher self-awareness but in reality it doesn´t matter at all if we live or die.

 

[Philip]

It's not too young...….if you want to ctb you do it when you want, no matter your age. Trust me, nothing gets better just worse and worse

 

[TAW122]

Well those "people" who bombard/shower you with platitudes and all the cliches, they're delusional and unrealistic. I feel like most people just want to look good, sound good, and it boils down to one quote that I once said:

"It's not about the result, it's about the action."

which means that people don't care whether about what they said or did helped; they are just doing it to feel good, look good, sound good. It really is just virtue signaling and ego-boosting for themselves (and like minded people around them).

 

[onewayroad]

I have been getting the usual platitudes like "your life will improve", "you are too young", " there is still hope for you.", ' you have so much potential" etc just because of my age. I understand that the majority of my peers are having the times of their lives and suicide would never ever cross their minds. But not everyone is so lucky.

I know that people meant well when they tried to talk me out of it but they don't know what I've been through and what treatments I've undertaken, all to no avail. I have been suffering for many years without respite, why are suicides of young people considered more stigmatic than others?

Like you said, no one knows what you've been through or what treatments you've tried. Maybe at 19 you've been going through hell for years and you've tried every possible treatment. It's just less likely to be the case than someone who is, say, 40. So because people can't know they just assume based on probability that you either haven't been suffering that long or that you haven't tried everything.

I actually think this is a reasonable assumption to make, but it's an assumption. That's the problem. People make that assumption and then act like they know, when really they're just assuming.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

The 20s are the prime. There is still physical life left.

Late 20s early 30s, you physically crumble. Physical life after that is a gigantic horror show.

 

[LostGirl]

The 20s are the prime. There is still physical life left.

Late 20s early 30s, you physically crumble. Physical life after that is a gigantic horror show.

Can't even begin to imagine that......

 

[Comatose11]

I'm not sure. It's silly though. I'm 21 and don't get told I'm too young. If you were just two years older, no one would give you crap for it.

 

[[NoName]]

I have been getting the usual platitudes like "your life will improve", "you are too young", " there is still hope for you.", ' you have so much potential" etc just because of my age. I understand that the majority of my peers are having the times of their lives and suicide would never ever cross their minds. But not everyone is so lucky.

I know that people meant well when they tried to talk me out of it but they don't know what I've been through and what treatments I've undertaken, all to no avail. I have been suffering for many years without respite, why are suicides of young people considered more stigmatic than others?

Because so far you have had little control over your life.

• You had to live under control of your parents
• You had to go to school and deal with all that comes with it.

Now that you're an adult you have more control on what happens to and around you.

Plus all the other things you listed.

 

[onewayroad]

The 20s are the prime. There is still physical life left.

Late 20s early 30s, you physically crumble. Physical life after that is a gigantic horror show.

I think it's not necessarily true, I'm 31 and physically fitter than I've ever been before. But I also seem to be getting more mentally ill every year... so maybe you're right.

 

[weedoge]

If people don't want younger people to be suiciding, then their concerns should be taken more seriously, if a kid needs to get out of the environment with their parent they should be supported with this more.

 

[TiredHorse]

I have been getting the usual platitudes like "your life will improve", "you are too young", " there is still hope for you.", ' you have so much potential" etc just because of my age. I understand that the majority of my peers are having the times of their lives and suicide would never ever cross their minds. But not everyone is so lucky.

I know that people meant well when they tried to talk me out of it but they don't know what I've been through and what treatments I've undertaken, all to no avail. I have been suffering for many years without respite, why are suicides of young people considered more stigmatic than others?

I wonder if it's because older people (like me, 49) can look back at 19, with all our hindsight, and wish that we could be back there and start over, knowing what we know now. If I could be back at 19, with all my knowledge of 49, I'm reasonably sure I could avoid many errors that have made my life the mess it is now. Pitfalls I would have avoided, opportunities I would have seized.

Because I can see what I did wrong, and imagine a way it might not have gone badly, I then project onto you my idealized life. Ignore that it would probably have gone equally badly for me, just in different ways, my fantasy still exists that my life might have been better.

So seeing you thus garlanded with my ludicrous fantasies, of course I want you to live: I have made you my avatar, and I do not want to see those false opportunities denied.

It is unthinking selfishness, and a desperate longing for what can never be, and the inevitable ignorance that comes of being different people with different pain thresholds.

 

[bigj75]

cause most 19 year olds rarely experience all that life has to offer at that age.

 

[GreenLantern]

The 20s are the prime. There is still physical life left.

Late 20s early 30s, you physically crumble. Physical life after that is a gigantic horror show.

For me, that's the age where socially I started to crumble. Generally from high school until I was about 30, I went out and socialized often. Then at 30 I stopped because I realized I can go out and try to succeed socially all I want, but bad things will still happen.

I'm not sure. It's silly though. I'm 21 and don't get told I'm too young. If you were just two years older, no one would give you crap for it.

It also depends on how you look. I don't know how you look but for me people gave me crap about being "young" when I was 28! Because I looked young for my age, and I still do to this day.

 

[weedoge]

I wonder if it's because older people (like me, 49) can look back at 19, with all our hindsight, and wish that we could be back there and start over, knowing what we know now. If I could be back at 19, with all my knowledge of 49, I'm reasonably sure I could avoid many errors that have made my life the mess it is now. Pitfalls I would have avoided, opportunities I would have seized.

Because I can see what I did wrong, and imagine a way it might not have gone badly, I then project onto you my idealized life. Ignore that it would probably have gone equally badly for me, just in different ways, my fantasy still exists that my life might have been better.

So seeing you thus garlanded with my ludicrous fantasies, of course I want you to live: I have made you my avatar, and I do not want to see those false opportunities denied.

It is unthinking selfishness, and a desperate longing for what can never be, and the inevitable ignorance that comes of being different people with different pain thresholds.

Excellent unfiltered honesty

 

[Jodes]

I think its a huge carry-over from traditional society's overall views on children. That they myst be protected. Not only that, but the stigma through to punishment for doing the opposite. Like it or not it's part of our cultures we're still a part of, and its in most of our genes I'm pretty sure.

But seeing someone suffer is also terrible. Especially a young person who you can't help - again, maybe Just in our genes. People on thus site are more likely to take this view, especially if they have suffered continuously from any young age - but any level of suffering however brief that brings a person here says enough imo

 

[weedoge]

On the one hand, I think the right to die in it's purest form is universal, on the other I truly think that each consciousness only has one chance to live and that... not gatekeeping as such, but encouraging those younger people who are considering suicide to be a lot more introspective and thoughtful and slow about their decision isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just more likely to lead to a truer to self decision.

I'm curious to hear other opinions, I think it's actually a very complex topic where it's hard not to draw arbitrary lines but it's hard to draw a non-arbitrary one. The yale university lecture in the resources thread covers the topic of rational suicide and if you go by this kind of logic, you can apply it to younger people and understand why people have the opinions they do. Edit: but also think platitudes are still useless, anything that is said or done needs to be from the heart and with substance to have any worthwhile effect.

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

i think it depends...eg if you are and 19 and suffer from an uncureable chronic disease i think 19 is not too young

if you are 19 and want to ctb bc you struggle at school/college/relationships i think you should think again bc a lot of "problems" get indeed better with time and are not as bad/dramatic as a lot of young people perceive them to be..

 

[LostGirl]

i think it depends...eg if you are and 19 and suffer from an uncureable chronic disease i think 19 is not too young

if you are 19 and want to ctb bc you struggle at school/college/relationships i think you should think again bc a lot of "problems" get indeed better with time and are not as bad/dramatic as a lot of young people perceive them to be..

I think this hits the nail on its head, many people simply assume that just because we are young, we are choosing to commit suicide for some irrational reasons. But until one gets to know that person or walk a mile in his shoes, one shouldn't be so quick to jump to conclusions.

 

[J Tizzle]

When I tried to ctb at 21, the guy in the psych ward said, "You don't look like somebody that would do that. It wasn't because of a boy, was it?" That was his actual go-to. He thought that because I was a young women, I must have tried to kill myself because I was hopelessly attached to some college boy and I not control my emotions around it. He was wrong, of course. But he didn't think that a 21-year-old could have serious issues other than boy trouble.

I will say my heart does break a little every time I see a young person wanting to ctb. I'm not saying it's the wrong call, it just makes me sad for them.

 

[Jodes]

On the one hand, I think the right to die in it's purest form is universal, on the other I truly think that each consciousness only has one chance to live and that... not gatekeeping as such, but encouraging those younger people who are considering suicide to be a lot more introspective and thoughtful and slow about their decision isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just more likely to lead to a truer to self decision.

I'm curious to hear other opinions, I think it's actually a very complex topic where it's hard not to draw arbitrary lines but it's hard to draw a non-arbitrary one. The yale university lecture in the resources thread covers the topic of rational suicide and if you go by this kind of logic, you can apply it to younger people and understand why people have the opinions they do. Edit: but also think platitudes are still useless, anything that is said or done needs to be from the heart and with substance to have any worthwhile effect.

Platitudes like? (Sorry, being stupid)

 

[Lifeisatrap]

I've wanted to die for the longest, still devastates me that I've lived this long and continue to do so.

 

[Life-Death-Afterlife]

I get that too at 17. I suppose most other people find it sad when younger people try to ctb because they havent experienced enough of the good sides of life. Such as love or certain achievements.
It's not easy, considering what could've happend in the past.

 

[onewayroad]

And also my first attempt was at 19, and if I'd died then well... if you add up all the happiness and subtract all of the suffering I've felt since then you are left with some number well below 0. So I guess it would have been better if I'd died at 19.

 

[Sanguinius]

I'm 15, and I believe everyone should have the right to ctb. Age doesn't matter. Reasons doesn't matter.
Every reason is a (valid) reason. Every individual is different. Things that are nothing for one are everything for another.
It's everyones own decision, which is inviolable.
Everyone has the right to stop it when the suffering is unendurable.

 

[hunter_lewis]

Because to most people 19 is still quite young and your life will change massively in the next 5-10 years. So the people are right. But if it is all so hopeless you can always die.

 

[LostGirl]

Because to most people 19 is still quite young and your life will change massively in the next 5-10 years. So the people are right. But if it is all so hopeless you can always die.

Thanks for your permission:)

 

[MsM3talGamer]

Personally, I don't care what age people choose to CTB. I actually envy youngsters who manage to go through with it and wish I had when I was younger. After 30 (for me) life just turned into a giant shitshow. Life gets harder when you lose the vitality and health you had in your teens and 20s.

 

[Crest33]

Sucide is taboo in our society. And sucide at young age is probably worse just like someone dying from natural causes at young age is.

Other people feel bad because in their eyes the life of de deceased person was not complete. Young people dying is just way harder to process and accept.

It could also be that your life changes for the good in the next 10 years. Anything is possible. But I'm 21 and not keen on waiting anymore. I perfectly realize it mighty not be the right decision to ctb. But it doesn't matter anymore when I'm gone.

 

[JJ-NOHOPE]

This is a tough one, because I would never encourage anyone to CTB. But I do believe you have the right to choose.

I can add that from my personal experience, I am now 54 years old. I tried to kill myself 4 times as an adolescent. Then as an adult I went out into the world and lived a relatively normal (but never happy) life for about 32 years.

But every day of all those 32 years I wished I had killed myself when I was 13 years old.

Now I am 54 years old and in worse pain than I was as an adolescent. Now I am mourning a wasted life.

I don't believe life is easy for anyone, even the people who look like they have everything. For damaged people (like me) it can be horrible and tortuous.

Oh, and I HATE platitudes! Such bull@#$&!!!!!!

I wish you luck and peace with whatever you decide to do.