Story Why i finally have had enough

[NOT SURE ANYMORE]

I've not long joined this site after scrolling through hundreds of useless articles with the number for the Samaritans and Dont do it! But I am over that now.

Im 28 and from the UK, I think to most people I seem real normal and happy but secretly I feel so much pain and mess things up as a way of self destruction. I have been given so many options to improve my life, recently given the best job I have ever had (or so I thought), offered money to pay off my debts that crippled me (which I have mow gambled 4k and I dont know why) and all of these things I have just messed up.

I wanted to speak with some like minded people and this website opened my eyes.

My best friend has just had a friend kill himself and when I heard I was so jealous? Is that bad. Its all I want. If I drove I would 100% hook up that pipe but I dont.

Thank you for listening I just had to say it to someone.

 

[LibertyRevolutionary]

I hope you find your peace soon.

 

[NOT SURE ANYMORE]

I hope you find your peace soon.

I highly doubt it. I am scared, I dont know why but I am. Its like ive wanted it for a long time but doing it on my own seems to gruesome. I dont want to be found where I work and live with an exit bag on my head.

 

[Pointlessabyss]

Hi and welcome! Can relate to your post big time! When things seem to be going in the right direction I suddenly take a step back and self implode and either destroy / burn bridges with people or isolate myself.

No matter how much I accumulate and move forward I'm not happy. I get no enjoyment out of life, Which is what led me to this site also!

I've only been here a short time but everyone here is brilliant ! The exit bag was my original strategy but when I looked into it further obtaining the nitrogen / helium in the uk it was cheaper to just go for the SN and saves me lugging around the tanks.

Feel free to drop me a PM if you ever wanna chat

 

[NOT SURE ANYMORE]

Hi and welcome! Can relate to your post big time! When things seem to be going in the right direction I suddenly take a step back and self implode and either destroy / burn bridges with people or isolate myself.

No matter how much I accumulate and move forward I'm not happy. I get no enjoyment out of life, Which is what led me to this site also!

I've only been here a short time but everyone here is brilliant ! The exit bag was my original strategy but when I looked into it further obtaining the nitrogen / helium in the uk it was cheaper to just go for the SN and saves me lugging around the tanks.

Feel free to drop me a PM if you ever wanna chat

You seem similar to me. I cant PM I am not sure how but we should definitely talk.

 

[Pointlessabyss]

You seem similar to me. I cant PM I am not sure how but we should definitely talk.

Tried starting a private convo with you but said was unable to... I'm new to this site so not sure f it will be something to do with the preferences or if you have to be a member for so long?

Can anyone else help?

EDIT: just found this in the FAQ

-How can I send PM's to other users?
The permission to send and recieve PM's will be granted automatically after you write a certain number of posts and are active for a certain amount of time. This is to avoid spam, low effort/lazy PM's, trolling, and not waste anyone's time.

 

[NOT SURE ANYMORE]

Tried starting a private convo with you but said was unable to... I'm new to this site so not sure f it will be something to do with the preferences or if you have to be a member for so long?

Can anyone else help?

EDIT: just found this in the FAQ

-How can I send PM's to other users?
The permission to send and recieve PM's will be granted automatically after you write a certain number of posts and are active for a certain amount of time. This is to avoid spam, low effort/lazy PM's, trolling, and not waste anyone's time.

Ive also only been on here a day that probably does not help either mate. Reading your reply its great someone feels the same things as me and get a reply on my first post. Do you have kik?

 

[Pointlessabyss]

Ive also only been on here a day that probably does not help either mate. Reading your reply its great someone feels the same things as me and get a reply on my first post. Do you have kik?

Yeah it's weird reading post like yours almost freaky that someone is saying exactly what you feel! Have come across it a few times! Umm nope never had it... give me around 20minutes will be heading home so will download it ! Will check the rules to ensure it's allowed to be given out! Don't wanna get banned or anything. This place is a good source of outlet !

 

[NOT SURE ANYMORE]

Prroper freaky. It makes you think that how many people around you actually feel like this when on the outside they seem like they have everything to live for.

Happy, good looking, normal and the life and soul of the party. Only to be hurting so deep that they are on a site like this.

Yeah I dont want to break any rules at all.

 

[Pointlessabyss]

Yeah I've been dealing with it for about 7-8 years often referred to myself as a chameleon as I'm able to adapt / have learnt to tell people what they want to hear.

Why with the 2 people I've actually let in have been so shocked! One decided it was too much and left while the other I've learnt from the first and kept certain things away from them...

But as I've said in a previous post everyone has a breaking point and I'm just sick of it!

I've PM d a mod just to make sure

 

[NOT SURE ANYMORE]

Yeah I've been dealing with it for about 7-8 years often referred to myself as a chameleon as I'm able to adapt / have learnt to tell people what they want to hear.

Why with the 2 people I've actually let in have been so shocked! One decided it was too much and left while the other I've learnt from the first and kept certain things away from them...

But as I've said in a previous post everyone has a breaking point and I'm just sick of it!

I've PM d a mod just to make sure

It says on the rules you can unless you dont feel comfortable doing so. I havent felt comfortable doing anything for years, so this is no different.

 

[Pointlessabyss]

Nah I'm cool with it only got a few months left anyway so not as if it makes a difference !!

Heading home now so speak soon